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Let me tell you why people are killing highsec miners. A manifesto.

First post
#1 - 2011-12-02 02:52:52 UTC
With the recent surge in suicide attacks against highsec miners, it's not surprising that there's been a lot of carebear angst and confusion. Highsec miners--who sacrifice all of their time and dignity for the sake of earning ISK--just can't understand why people will throw away ships to CONCORD in order to suicide gank. After all, it's one thing for a ganker to turn a profit by killing a freighter packed with expensive loot. But killing a highsec miner is no way to make money. What's the motivation?

In frustration, the highsec miners ask, "Why do they hate us?"

They come up with plenty of reasons, of course. Some carebears say it's because the suicide gankers hate freedom and want to control everyone else's game. Others say it's because the gankers are griefers who want to hurt people, or because they're just evil, or they're crazy, or misguided.

Naturally, all of the highsec miners' explanations are designed to make them feel better about themselves, and to dismiss the possibility that the suicide gankers have good reasons for doing what they do. The highsec miner doesn't want to question himself, after all--question whether he might deserve to be hated.

But if a highsec miner genuinely does want answers, he'll need to listen to the people who have been launching the suicide attacks. Don't listen to the self-serving explanations being given by the carebear propagandists. Listen to the suicide gankers themselves. We'll tell you.

In the interest of time, I would like to just briefly relate a few of my thoughts about highsec miners and suicide ganking.

* * *

There's no question that an anti-highsec miner fever is spreading across Eve like wildfire. Years ago, almost no one ever bothered to kill the miners. There were isolated incidents, yes, but hardly anything to get worked up about. Miners barely even noticed. Highsec was totally safe.

But these days? Everywhere you look there's evidence that the tide of public opinion is turning against highsec miners. "Hulkageddon" is famous, and has gathered new participants with each event. Then there's the Goon-sponsored interdiction of Gallente ice, which spread to other alliances. And suicide ganking has moved beyond the boundaries of alliances and coalitions: Once ordinary Eve players have set aside their ISK and security status in order to wreak havoc on unsuspecting miners. Miners who thought nobody could kill them--or wanted to.

And then there's The Mittani. He is the Chairman of the Council of Stellar Management (CSM). The CSM is elected by the players of Eve, and is the best representation of popular opinion. The Mittani is a suicide ganker, and a prolific one at that. Nor does he make a secret of that fact: He runs on a anti-highsec miner platform, and the more he rails against the carebears, the more his public support grows.

Years ago, no one with any sort of credibility was seriously advocating suicide attacks. Today, the popularly elected representative of the Eve playerbase is also one of Eve's biggest promoters of suicide ganking.

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

* * *

Before I begin to explain the forces behind the rapid increase in hatred and violence against the miners, I probably ought to make some disclosures. I am a suicide ganker. I kill highsec miners. And aside from the reasons that we'll be exploring in a moment, I simply don't have any fondness for highsec miners. Personally, I just find them easy to dislike. Even apart from what they actually do, their presence has always irritated me. I suppose you could say that I have a natural prejudice against them.

When I examine the phenomenon of the highsec miner, I put all of that aside. Do I despise them? Absolutely. But am I able to be completely objective? Hell yes! In studying the highsec miner, I am essentially a neutral party, as my hatred of the miners becomes a non-factor.

My objective analysis of the highsec miners has concluded that my prejudice against them is well-founded. They do deserve the disgust that people feel for them.

Now it's time to get to the heart of things. Why do highsec miners deserve to be attacked, even at the guaranteed loss of the attacker's ship?

* * *

First of all, let's talk about the bots. Highsec mining operations are crawling with botters. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. And nobody knows it better than the human miners. They mine together day in and day out, side by side. Thick as thieves.

Allow me to make one thing perfectly clear to the humans who mine in highsec: We suicide gankers will make no distinction between the botters and those who harbor them.

Whenever I tell a highsec miner this, I always get the same response. They whine that they would never help a bot, and surely if they ever saw one, they would immediately report the bot to CCP. So please, please, they say, leave the human miners alone.

Uh... No. I don't think so.

Of course the highsec miners harbor the bots. They camouflage them. They act as human shields. If it weren't for human players mining in highsec, the remainder would be known botters, and would be instantly banned. But worst of all, highsec miners contribute to an institutional system and culture that legitimizes botting.

As a matter of fact, I'd go so far as to say that all of the miners in highsec are bots. Even the ones who aren't running any bots or macros. The human miners are bots, and they deserve to be treated like it. Why? Read on.

* * * (Proceed to section 2.) * * *

#2 - 2011-12-02 02:53:31 UTC
Imagine it were possible to remove a very small piece of the human brain and replace it with an advanced piece of technology. This equipment is so advanced that it can completely take over the functions of the removed portion of the brain--so much so that the person is unaware of any change. Now suppose a second small area of the brain were likewise replaced by machine, and so on. Bit by bit, the brain is replaced by a computer. At what point do we say that the person is no longer human, but a machine? That the mind no longer exists?

You see, the dirty little secret about the human miners is that, in everything they do, they aspire to become bots. Like the bots, they automate all of their activities as much as possible. Everything they do is to maximize the time they spend AFK. If you listen to them, they take great pride in being elsewhere, doing other things. They think it's cool to be AFK.

Now for a second thought experiment, one which I hope will end all doubt as to whether the highsec miner should be condemned:

What if CCP made it legal to use bots for mining? What if they made these macros and botting scripts freely available? What percentage of the highsec miners would use them?

The answer is obvious. Every single highsec miner, 100% of them, would use the programs and become bots. There's not a single miner in highsec who would continue to mine manually. The only reason there are any human miners in highsec is that they're afraid of getting banned. They want to be bots, every last one of them.

They're guilty.

Now let's turn it around. What if it were permissible to use a bot that enabled a suicide ganker to kill a miner while the ganker was AFK? Would they use it, or would a ganker still want to be at his computer to pull the trigger himself?

Once again the answer is obvious. The suicide ganker, unlike the highsec miner, wants to actually play the game. They want to experience the kill. They want to be involved in Eve.

That's the fundamental difference between the highsec miner and the suicide ganker. The gankers are human. The miners are bots. The miners are quite literally less than human. They deserve to be wiped out, every last one of them. To the extent that they still feel anything, it should only be fear, humiliation, and misery.

And that's not my opinion, mind you, it's just plain common sense and logic. No one can argue with it.

* * *

Whichever side you're on in this debate--whether you hate the highsec miners or totally support them--I think we can all agree that highsec miners are despicable in both their actions and in their intrinsic nature. A highsec miner is fundamentally going to inspire disgust. What they think, the way they feel about things, their attitudes, beliefs, all of it.

Everyone knows that a highsec miner is motivated by greed. And not just a desire to gain, which could equally be attributed to the conquerors of nullsec, but a particular kind of senseless, materialistic greed.

What do I mean by that? Well, look at the lifecycle of the typical highsec miner. He mines in what he hopes to be absolute safety. He very slowly gains ISK. He saves up the ISK and, at some point, buys a larger mining ship and some mining upgrades. He then continues to pile up ISK very slowly. He does nothing else. The ISK is never used for anything. Unlike the PvPer, suicide ganker, or empire-builder, who earns ISK to support something else, the ISK is the whole point for the highsec miner.

He gets no excitement or enjoyment from Eve, nor does he seek it. He simply piles up the ISK for its own sake. Does he feel anything? No. A suicide ganker is the most human player in the world, seeking to feel the experience of each kill he makes. But a highsec miner who pulls in a bunch of ore feels nothing. Like the bot he wishes to become, he is empty. There is no glory or satisfaction in anything. He continues on mining. Essentially, the highsec miner is a willing slave to his own monotonous impulses. He may as well be a program, thoughtlessly executing the same lines of code again and again. Is it any wonder the highsec miner feels such a kinship to the bots with whom he shares the asteroid belts?

To what end? What's the ultimate purpose in piling up a bunch of ISK that you can't use? Finally, one blessed day, the highsec miner quits. All of the ISK in his account is either sold or goes down the great ISK sink in the sky when the miner fails to resub. So you see, it's not really greed, but something less than that. Something even more base and pitiable than greed. It's a kind of gray, lifeless materialism. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a word in English that adequately describes it.

* * * (Proceed to section 3.) * * *

#3 - 2011-12-02 02:54:06 UTC
Not only is the highsec miner incapable of feeling anything, he's also incapable of valuing anything. In a game filled with corporations, alliances, coalitions, and empires, one of the most basic values in Eve is loyalty. Don't misunderstand. Sure, there's plenty of treachery and betrayal in Eve. But it takes the form of a spy or traitor's loyalty to his true employer. Agents play a double or triple game. Even the most duplicitous deceivers in the game usually have an attachment to something. The Mittani, The greatest spymaster in Eve--some might say the only true spymaster the game has ever produced--has betrayed or engineered the betrayal of thousands of corporations, but always remains loyal to the Goons. Some traitors are just out for themselves, but when they finally burn their last employer or friend, they usually quit the game soon afterward.

Then there are the highsec miners. They don't believe in anything or anyone. Sometimes they form corporations, even though they're in highsec and have no need of blues. Then a war declaration comes and they all run their separate ways. At first, they make bold claims about fighting back or taking arms. But then these miners--the same ones who scream bloody murder about the "dishonorable" suicide gankers--scatter like sheep and leave their friends to die. Always.

Standing up for someone else takes ISK, you see. It would be a risk. One might even have to put down the mining laser for a few seconds. The highsec miner's devotion to his pile of ISK reasserts itself, and everything else is abandoned. The corporation is dissolved and he resumes his endless, pointless efforts in the asteroid belts. Perhaps he joins another mining corporation and bolts when it runs into trouble. Or he'll remain in his NPC corp and slave away by himself. Why bother even pretending?

The best and brightest of the highsec miners will venture to nullsec. They'll join an alliance surrounded by a coalition of blues. They'll nestle in the deepest blue of the bluest territories they can find, and try to make some ISK. Then, when trouble inevitably arrives, the poor fellow is gone with the first failure cascade. He didn't sign up for that whole "conflict" thing. Eventually perhaps he'll tire of it all and return to the asteroid belts in highsec where he belongs. Or he'll quit the game. Good riddance.

* * *

That's enough bashing the highsec miners for now. What about their good points? What about their contributions to the Eve community? I could go on and on about all of the wonderful things the highsec miners have added to the Eve universe--or at least, I could if there were any. They have produced nothing of value whatsoever.

That's not to say highsec miners leave no legacy. Actually, they do. Their legacy is a series of nerfs to highsec warfare. They whine and whine, and eventually CCP takes pity on them and gives them a few nerfs to make highsec safer. And the highsec miners are quite satisfied with this, until they end up a smoldering wreck because the suicide gankers keep on coming.

There have been at least a dozen separate nerfs to highsec violence over the years. They run the gamut: Buffs to CONCORD, faster CONCORD response time, drone bandwidth disabling, buffs to ship hitpoints, limits on war declarations, faster corp member expulsion, increased security standing losses, limits to insurance payouts--anything you can imagine. The bleating for nerfs has never stopped because the killing has never stopped.

Aside from whining to CCP, highsec miners have never taken a single action on their own to protect themselves. They have never made a single innovation in Eve, ever. Instead, the suicide gankers--many of whom are the brightest minds in Eve--take it upon themselves to adapt to all of the nerfs. The suicide gankers have been ingenious in finding new ways to inflict damage upon the carebears. If they didn't, the carebears wouldn't need to whine for more protection. Suicide gankers thus represent the creative force in Eve. The highsec miners are unable to produce any creative thought--again, like bots who cannot go beyond their simple programming.

Ironically, when the gankers look askance at any of the new nerfs, the highsec miners then smugly tell the gankers to "adapt." The hypocrisy goes without saying, of course. Highsec miners have never adapted to anything in their lives. They go to highsec precisely because they're incapable of dealing with the world around them. They declare that the "tears" of the gankers are delicious--a meme which they picked up from their hated enemy, the Goons. Unfortunately for the highsec miners, the suicide gankers do adapt, and the whole process starts over again.

Highsec miners are no strangers to hypocrisy. They also whine that suicide attacks require no skill, even though clearly their own profession--shooting rocks with lasers in highsec--requires much less skill. They even complain that suicide ganking isn't risky, despite the fact that it carries a 100% risk of losing your ship. Add to that the irony of a highsec miner complaining that someone else isn't taking enough risks when his whole profession is based on having zero risk.

It's almost as if the highsec miners want to be hated by everyone in Eve. If that's their goal, they're doing a great job.

Highsec miners are a superstitious and cowardly lot. They always believe CCP will save them if they cry enough. Within two days after word got out that the winter expansion would nerf insurance payments further, I already saw highsec miners gloating about it in local, and about how it would end suicide ganking forever.

Highsec miner, allow me to suggest an alternative forecast for the winter.

It's gonna be cold...

It's gonna be gray...

And it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

* * * (Proceed to section 4.) * * *

#4 - 2011-12-02 02:54:40 UTC
I'd like to pose a question to all of you, because I haven't been able to find anyone who can produce a satisfactory answer: Can anyone give me one good reason why I should not kill the highsec miners?

And if not, why should the killing ever end?

Highsec miners often try to convince me of the valuable service they provide to the people of Eve. Some if it may be desperation, since they're tired of me killing them, but I think some miners really do believe they contribute something. They tell me that their efforts keep the prices of ships and modules down.

I suppose it's only natural that they would immediately frame everything in terms of ISK. Like I said, they value nothing else. It would never occur to them that I would gladly pay more for my ships and my guns if it meant I could see fewer vermin mucking about in highsec.

Pretty much everyone agrees with me. Even CCP does. CCP has permabanned literally thousands of paying accounts for the offense of botting. That's millions of dollars per year. Does anyone wish all of those bots were back? Remember, everyone agrees that the bots lower the prices of ships and modules. Yet people don't seem to mind paying a little extra if it means the bots are gone.

I would also like to point out that the highsec miner justifies his existence in the same way the bot does: Don't mind me, I'm just keeping prices down. It's like I said, highsec miners and bots are one and the same.

Then we come to the ultimate carebear argument, the one that forms the boilerplate in all of their whines to CCP. "Most players live in highsec," they say. "If you don't pay attention to our whining and make highsec safer, thousands of players will quit and CCP will lose revenue."

Let's follow this argument and see where it takes us. Suppose they're right. Let's say CCP replies, "We've already made a dozen nerfs for you, and we're drawing the line. No more special treatment." Afterward, suppose (unlikely as it is) that the highsec miners do leave the game in mass numbers. Imagine if one hundred thousand subscriptions were cancelled. Wouldn't that be bad for Eve?

As a matter of fact, no. Actually, not only would it not be bad for Eve if we lost 100,000 highsec miners, it would be great for Eve. Subscriptions would go up through the roof if that happened.

CCP doesn't need to worry about losing a hundred thousand customers. Not when there are billions of potential customers they could gain. Eve is not Facebook or Google. They haven't saturated the market. Instead of being concerned about losing subscriptions, their concern should be gaining subscriptions from the billions of people who aren't their customers yet.

Eve is a niche game. People play it because it offers something that other games do not. Eve represents war, murder, theft, terror, intrigue, innovation, and conquest. That's why proper Eve players play Eve. People who like carebear stuff will play other games, because other games do carebear stuff better.

That's the thing. Eve is not going to out-WoW Wow. If CCP tried, they would fail. That's why their aborted efforts to make an FPS and a sparkly vampire MMORPG and walking in stations and all the other stuff failed completely. CCP is not going to outdo Call of Duty in the FPS market. They're not going to beat WoW at its own game. CCP succeeds when it plays its own game.

The Chairman of CSM, The Mittani, knows this. He has helped CCP understand that it needs to focus on flying in ships rather than walking in stations. The Mittani has explicitly stated that he represents the players in Eve who favor war, destruction, murder, and chaos. That's what Eve is. Everyone who disagrees, everyone who thinks being a carebear and safely mining in highsec is an acceptable practice in Eve--they're all wrong. I wouldn't mind at all if they quit by the tens of thousands. I would welcome it. They should all either change their views or quit Eve.

Because frankly, given enough time, they all do change their views or quit Eve.

* * * (Proceed to section 5.) * * *

#5 - 2011-12-02 02:55:16 UTC
So far we've covered most of the reasons why, from a purely rational standpoint, suicide ganking the miners is acceptable, desirable, perhaps even imperative. If Eve players were motivated entirely by logic, the current ganking of highsec miners is nothing more or less than what we would expect. But of course, Eve players are human (aside from botters/miners), so they are motivated by more than reason: There is a highly developed emotional and ideological--some might say religious--aspect to the anti-miner fervor.

It is universally recognized that the father of modern suicide ganking was an Eve player named karttoon. Now, let it be understood that there are as many different perspectives on who karttoon was and what he taught, as there are different cultures in Eve. Some view him as the absentee CEO who went **** Goons in spectacular fashion. Others see him as an exploiter who deserved to be permabanned from the game. Still others think he was a griefer and a terrorist who preyed on the weak and innocent. But to the followers of karttoon, he was a man touched by the divine, one who had extraordinary vision beyond that of ordinary human experience.

Before karttoon, suicide ganking existed to a limited extent. People were not unfamiliar with the concept of killing a ship in highsec and accepting death by CONCORD. What karttoon saw, that no one else had seen before in Eve history, was the possibility of suicide ganking as a way of life. karttoon grew up in a world where highsec carebear activity was an accepted part of Eve, a necessary evil. karttoon was outraged by the corruption he saw. The miners flaunted their sense of invulnerability. They lacked even the modesty of a few tanking modules. To karttoon, this represented a humiliation of himself and his people, the Goons. It was an intolerable situation.

karttoon was convinced that one should be willing to lose a ship to CONCORD if it were the price of destroying a highsec miner. To a miner, this was a totally alien concept. They cared only for money. But karttoon was willing to die again and again for what he believed. And he felt strongly that his was a cause that others should adopt. He taught the Goons his methods and his beliefs. He taught them to kill the miners in the most efficient manner possible. More importantly, he taught them that they did not have to accept the world as it was. Instead, they should strive to make the world into what it could be.

karttoon was called "the Sheikh" by his followers, a title of the greatest respect and admiration. His teachings had an extraordinary impact on the world, and they still do today. All of the suicide gankers who came after him were, to some extent, influenced by the Sheikh. There is some debate about precisely what he taught. The Sheikh famously said, "The most excellent jihad is that for the conquest of self." Interpreted in the light of its fuller context and modern scholarship, the best reading of this quote is that "everyone must kill the highsec miner wherever they find him." Sadly, most Eve players have fallen far short of this call. Still, suicide ganking is currently the fastest-growing activity in Eve.

* * *

If highsec miners were capable of rational thought, they would have no difficulty understanding why they are universally reviled. Anyone should automatically recognize that everything about highsec mining is antithetical to the spirit of Eve. Time and again, highsec miners blind themselves to the world around them and fall for anti-ganking propaganda. They want to think the problem is with the suicide attacks rather than the mining.

It would be easy for me to give up and abandon my efforts to educate these misguided proto-bots. They certainly don't deserve enlightenment. Still, I will make one last attempt. Am I not merciful?

My final illustration is one of personal experience. I will tell you something of my own encounters with the highsec miners. Maybe if they see themselves through my eyes, they will finally get it. If not, they will be even more guilty than they already are.

A few weeks ago, I decided that I would visit a highsec system in Caldari space called Arvasaras. I understood that it had an Ice Field, so I decided I would make the trip and take a look at it. As soon as I loaded grid, I was greeted by an appalling sight. The belt was covered in mackinaws and hulks greedily chewing away at the ice. If that wasn't bad enough, the place was completely covered in secure containers. There must have been ten or twenty of the unsightly things for each miner. Outrageous.

I was completely disgusted. In front of me was what could have been a gorgeous Ice Field. Instead, it was polluted top-to-bottom with filth--and the containers. The miners were happily going about their work, sucking the life out of the Ice Field like it was an ATM. They didn't have a care in the world. To them, this was Eve, just mindlessly racking up the ISK (slowly) and being totally unconcerned about the possibility of death. That was about to change.

* * * (Proceed to section 6.) * * *

#6 - 2011-12-02 02:55:52 UTC
I decided to let the highsec miners in Arvasaras know exactly what I thought about their treatment of the Ice Field. So I killed one of the hulks mining there, and calmly awaited my fate at the hands of CONCORD. I would have preferred to make my introduction by reasoning with them in local, but because all highsec miners are essentially bots, I knew they would only listen if I spoke in their language: The language of ISK. They only care about material things, so I destroyed some of their stuff. This got their attention.

Several minutes later, the hulk pilot began screaming in local to everyone who would listen. He had been AFK when his hulk was blown up. Naturally. His fellow carebears in system consoled him, telling him that suicide gankings in highsec are an unfortunate but rare occurrence. He sent me a nasty evemail. It had little substance, and to be generous I will assume he was not a native English speaker.

The next day, I returned to Arvasaras and found the Ice Field was still teeming with miners. I promptly killed one of the mackinaws. As I watched the exhumer's defenses peel away and the ship explode, I was struck by a profound sense of peace. Like I was doing something right. Like I was making the world a better place somehow, helping people. Surely, I thought, this must be what the Sheikh had felt when he began killing carebears.

After a few days, the miners of Arvasaras were in an uproar. They recognized that it wasn't a few isolated incidents, but that the same suicide ganker had repeatedly attacked ships in the Ice Field. They demanded to know what I thought I was doing.

Let me tell you how I live my life. I believe in openness and honesty. I hid nothing from the miners. I announced that the rumors were indeed true: I had adopted the system so that I could lend it my guidance. I was the Father of Arvasaras, and my word was law. Acting upon my principle of transparency, I flew to the Ice Field and anchored a container of my own, 100km from the belt so that it would be plain to see. It was labeled with a warning that the Ice Field was now off-limits to mining. Anyone found in the belt in a mining vessel would risk a suicide gank.

Highsec miners generally don't respond to anything. After all, they're AFK most of the time, and even when they are present, they have difficulty processing complex situations. My leadership of the system was something they had never seen before. They insisted that highsec belongs to everyone, but I disabused them of that petty idea: Highsec belongs to those willing to be CONCORDed. The miners were now motivated to react. They sounded the alarm.

The normally passive miners spread the word with surprising speed. Some resident mining corps added me to their contact list and set me to negative standings. They ticked the "notify" box so that I would be sent a message that I had "terrible" standings. I informed them that standings meant nothing to me. I am a proud member of Caille University, or Caldari Provisions, or whatever NPC corp I'm in. That means when I'm in nullsec, I'm effectively negative to everyone. I have no blues. When I'm in highsec, standings are irrelevant because of CONCORD. They threatened to call in allies against me. Again, this meant nothing. When I strike, I am automatically killed by CONCORD. Whether I was Mr. Popularity, or if everyone in Eve wanted me dead, it would make no difference whatsoever.

To their credit, many Ice Field miners respected my decision to declare the area off-limits. The botters quickly relocated, thinning the ranks. But to many "human" miners, the idea of one random person taking over a highsec system and pushing everyone else out was ludicrous. They were determined to stay. In response to my courteous warning container, they renamed some of their own secure containers in the Ice Field to read "**** YOU JAMES 315". I expected this would happen. I was the father of the Arvasaras family, and rather than listening to me, they were acting like bratty little children.

Shortly after I made my plans for the system known, the outrage from the remaining human miners reached a fever pitch. They spent hours on end shrieking at me in local, alternately making attempts to threaten me or to reason with me. I told them frankly that they had been abusing the system by mining in it, and now their chickens had come home to roost. They had no one but themselves to blame.

Some of the mining corps had self-styled PvPers. You might wonder why a highsec mining corp would need PvP protection. You might also wonder why highsec miners would need a corporation at all. I suppose they wanted the veneer of something Eve-like to cover their shame. Their PvPers claimed they would protect the miners. I told them they were irrelevant since CONCORD was already offering the miners far more protection than their missile ships could. As long as I was the only person willing to die for what I believed in, I would rule the highsec system.

One of the PvPers declared that he was willing to lose his ship, as long as he could get a killmail with my name on it. I decided to test that theory, so I brought out my Ibis. He decloaked at the Ice Field, where he had been waiting with a stealth bomber. After finding that he could not launch a bomb in highsec, he targeted me and launched some torpedoes. Due to the small signature radius of my rookie ship, the torpedoes only brought me to half-armor before I withdrew. He was promptly CONCORDed. Docking at a station, I repaired my ship for an affordable 0.00 ISK.

The miners' defense of Arvasaras was not going well.

* * * (Proceed to section 7.) * * *

#7 - 2011-12-02 02:56:36 UTC
I asked if anyone else was willing to sacrifice his own ship for what he believed in and was met with silence. Eventually I was able to negotiate a 1v1 fight with a saber-rattling raven pilot. Unlike her predecessor, she was unwilling to simply CONCORD her prized PvP rokh. But she was willing to arrange a duel where I would steal from her container, allowing her to engage me without CONCORD interference. If she won the duel, I was to leave the system forever. If I won, nothing would happen. But in exchange, prior to the duel, she would CONCORD her mining ship. I accepted these terms and waited in the Ice Field with my Ibis while she took the time to fit her ship with mining equipment.

When she warped into the Ice Field, she was out of range, so I instructed her to attack one of the miners with her attack drones. She did, and she was promptly CONCORDed for her troubles. After her aggression period expired, she launched her rokh and asked me to meet for our high-stakes duel.

I demurred. I announced that although I was canceling the duel for lack of interest (on my part), I would continue to shoot all of her miner friends in the Ice Field. In disbelief, she asked if I would reimburse her for the ship and the rigs destroyed in her unnecessary suicide attack. I considered it, but ultimately decided against it because I hate highsec miners. Needless to say, my decision was exceedingly unpopular with the locals. But hey, I was already at "terrible" standings.

By the next day, the miners were baying for my blood. They had a devised a new strategy to deal with the James 315 problem. They would leverage their financial power (because you know, people who mine ice are rich). A member of the highsec mining corp put a bounty on my head. It was only for a few million, but he encouraged others to do the same. With any luck, they would be able to entice some powerful nullsec corps to come to the rescue and hunt me down. I tried in vain to explain why the "bounty" mechanic is utterly pointless, especially in highsec, and especially if I'm already suiciding my own ships and have an implant-less clone. But incredibly, the defiant miners put in one donation after another. I now had a bounty of over 100 million ISK on my head, which remains to this day.

Two things. First of all, bounties are soooo 2005. Second of all, how dare you?

I tried to reason with them, carefully going through point-by-point all of the reasons why they should stop mining in highsec, for their own good as well as Eve's. They howled in response, cursing me endlessly. I asked them, "Why are you shouting at the first person who ever came to Arvasaras and told you the truth?"

As days went on, the miners continued to die helplessly in the Ice Field. At times they would attempt to draw CONCORD into the Ice Field early in the day, but that would only put the hulks in the asteroid belts at risk, as I would strike there and redirect CONCORD. After all, those people were just as guilty of defiling highsec as the ice miners. At other times, the miners' corpmates would stand watch at the system's main station and call out when they saw me undock with a brutix. But the warnings largely went unheeded, as their miners were AFK, not watching local. Sometimes the "watchmen" would go AFK themselves. It must have been boring work since I remained in system all day and only undocked moments before each attack.

Typical of carebears, they gave up. The "PvP" contingent of the highsec mining corps made no pretense of protecting their comrades anymore. When a miner came under fire, the rest would scatter, leaving their friend to die. I pondered what species these people were. What do you call people who, when they're faced with a condition or fear, do nothing about it, they just run and hide?



As the days went on, the miners began to cede control of the system to me. What once was a crowded Ice Field covered in mackinaws and hulks was becoming empty. Sometimes there would be a few miners. At other times the belt was completely abandoned. When miners were killed, the mission-runners who inhabited the system would mock them in local for being foolish enough to mine when James 315 was around. Even the omnipresent secure containers thinned out, as the miners weren't there to refresh them (even anchored containers must be refreshed once every thirty days). Slowly, my dream was becoming a reality.

I remarked at the beauty of the Ice Field when it was devoid of miners. Sensing opportunity, one miner tanked up a hulk completely, replacing mining-enhancing modules with more tank mods. He went to the Ice Field and dared me to clean him out. I told him that I would kill whomever I chose to kill, at the time of my own choosing. The miners did not control my game; I controlled theirs. Duly chastened, the miner and his cheerleaders in local crawled back into their holes and wept. I resumed killing miners whenever I felt like it, which was pretty often.

* * * (Proceed to section 8.) * * *

Gallente Federation
#8 - 2011-12-02 02:56:40 UTC
**** that noise.
Goonswarm Federation
#9 - 2011-12-02 02:57:40 UTC
Whoa there is no way you wrote that without using a bot.

 Though All Men Do Despise Us

#10 - 2011-12-02 02:59:09 UTC
With no end in sight to the terror in Arvasaras, the miners grew increasingly desperate. They grasped at any straw they could dream up. Salvation would come when I ran out of ISK, they said. Or my security status would drive me out of empire space. The miners threatened to mine in throwaway retrievers or tanked-up battleships, or their defense teams would find a way to kill or jam me before my kills were completed, or they would send in for reinforcements from their nullsec friends, or they would petition their losses, or lobby CCP to make suicide ganking illegal, or they would report me for cheating and have me permabanned.

...But all they ever did was die.

Finally, their madness drew them toward conspiracy theories. As so often happens when the situation for a carebear is hopeless, they blamed it all on the Goons. They repeatedly insisted that I must be a Goon spy, and that the Goons were bankrolling the whole thing.

It was absurd, of course. As I pointed out, aside from the time I spent in GoonSwarm, I never had any traceable affiliation to the Goons whatsoever. Did I support the Goons and their efforts to stop the mining of Gallente ice? Wholeheartedly. Was I taking marching orders from the Goons? Not in the least.

Bots that they are, highsec miners can't understand anything beyond their programming language--the ISK that rules everything they do. So they couldn't grasp that I might have other reasons for wanting them dead. To their minds, I must have a profit motive. And how else could I afford to keep throwing away ships to CONCORD?

In fact, I was never funded by the Goons. The source of my ISK? I am the heir to the Currin Trading fortune, which I intend to steward in accordance with the principles by which it was earned (huge Ponzi scheme).

Then the miners became convinced that I was none other than The Mittani himself. They accused me of being his alt, all the while hurling the most outrageous invective against the CSM Chairman. They said The Mittani was the root of all their woes, and an all-around dishonorable chap.

I want to be clear. These accusations are false. I am not now--nor have I ever been--an alt of The Mittani. I really don't see the resemblance, either. When condemning the botters, he spells "hisec" and I spell "highsec." Night and day.

Of course there have been rumors for many years, but in all that time not a single shred of evidence has been produced that I am The Mittani. Both The Mittani and I have explicitly stated that we are not the same person. What more do you need? Occam's Razor states that the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one. Let's put it to use here: Which is more probable, that I am The Mittani's alt or that I'm not? The answer is obvious.

Naturally, I have the greatest respect for The Mittani. Who doesn't? He is an inspiring figure to many. For a long time, people claimed that no Goon could ever be elected to the highest office in the Eve playerbase. The Mittani proved them all wrong. And he is very articulate.

* * * Proceed to Section 9 * * *

#11 - 2011-12-02 02:59:39 UTC
And, naturally, I have great admiration for the Goons. The highsec miners knew they hated Goons--they couldn't quite articulate why--but they had only the dimmest sense of Eve's history. In a few sentences, the basic history of Eve is this: Once upon a time, there were two forces in Eve. There were the Goons and the Band of Brothers. BoB represented order, dominion, and an empire without end. An empire based on the oldest players in Eve--the elites--and the developers of the game itself. They would run it all, a single invincible alliance that never lost. The rest of the players would be--if they were lucky--shunted into a series of slavish renter corps, which BoB called "pets." Nothing would ever change, and nothing would disrupt or challenge their order. A steady state end to the galaxy of Eve. Boredom.

On the other end of the spectrum, the Goons represented chaos. A mercurial force, they were as prone to internal combustion as they were to destroying (or at least offending) outsiders. They were uncontrolled and unpredictable. They had a fondness for originality and disorder.

For all the different alliances and coalitions in Eve, and for all the multitudes of different names on the Eve map, there were only ever two choices for Eve. There was BoB, and there was Goon. That was it. For the most part, the people of Eve leaned toward BoB. They wanted order and peace. They wanted to be ruled by the elite. They wanted to be renters, pets, and slaves. So they served BoB, feared BoB, aspired to become members of BoB, and believed in BoB's ultimate victory no matter what. Like the highsec miners of today, they didn't want to challenge anything. Eve shuffled down the path toward BoB rule.

I had a different idea. At the critical moment I gently persuaded Eve onto a different course. The Goons won. BoB is dead. And so the animating force in the Eve community is the Goon. Their culture is at the core of the post-BoB Eve. The Goon influence is under the surface of everything. As I said, even the highsec miners unthinkingly parrot the Goon memes.

That was the decision I made, based upon the vision I had for Eve. I still believe it was the right one. Regardless, it's the one that everyone else will have to live with.

The highsec miners hate the Goons, and they barely recognize the name of BoB. But they do seem to understand that whatever BoB was, it was a bad thing. That makes me smile.

* * *

Gentle Eve forums reader, I hope you have enjoyed reading my thoughts. It's been my privilege to share them with you. I didn't mean to drone on for so long, but I had to do something while waiting out all of those 15-minute aggression timers.

I hope that I have given you a better understanding of highsec miners and suicide gankers. And a better understanding of my dream of a highsec without any mining.

And I hope, dear reader, that you will destroy some highsec miners of your own.

Goonswarm Federation
#12 - 2011-12-02 03:01:22 UTC
Holy crap it seems like they actually invented NZT-48 and someone is using it to sperg out on the Eve forums.

 Though All Men Do Despise Us

Caldari State
#13 - 2011-12-02 03:09:04 UTC
Holy ****, you're a lunatic.


[u]The nerfs to supercaps will cause more super pilots to join the largest alliances who can properly "support" their deployment, further concentrating firepower/wealth in EVE. The end result will be fewer "fun" fights, and will hurt EVE in the long run.[/u]

Goonswarm Federation
#14 - 2011-12-02 03:09:29 UTC
It's not that I don't agree with your point but goddamn that's 7420 words

 Though All Men Do Despise Us

#15 - 2011-12-02 03:10:52 UTC
Is there a tl;dr?
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2011-12-02 03:13:33 UTC
Coke is a hell of a drug.

I have more space likes than you. 

#17 - 2011-12-02 03:13:49 UTC  |  Edited by: Bill Lane
You're an idiot. Finished the whole first post, wasn't worth my time to continue on.
#18 - 2011-12-02 03:16:56 UTC
Eve Antonovich wrote:
Is there a tl;dr?


People say gankers are horrible people with no life. In response, I call all hisec miners bots, or if they aren't bots, they want to be anyway. Also, they are intrinsically evil. They are heartless, cold beings with one goal in mind - to make ISK the easiest way possible.

In order to rid the earth of this scourge, all hisec miners, bot or not, should be scoured from the belts.

I will now tell you pointless stories about my personal ganking achievements.

Gallente Federation
#19 - 2011-12-02 03:18:01 UTC  |  Edited by: Ethzera
An interesting read which succeeded in inverting my opinion of highsec miners and the gankers who target them.

Though this entire thread is going to be just people commenting on the sheer number of words, as if they've never read a book before in their life.
#20 - 2011-12-02 03:20:35 UTC
Nikola Aivoras wrote:
Eve Antonovich wrote:
Is there a tl;dr?


People say gankers are horrible people with no life. In response, I call all hisec miners bots, or if they aren't bots, they want to be anyway. Also, they are intrinsically evil. They are heartless, cold beings with one goal in mind - to make ISK the easiest way possible.

In order to rid the earth of this scourge, all hisec miners, bot or not, should be scoured from the belts.

I will now tell you pointless stories about my personal ganking achievements.


Thanks. I mine and gank - does that make me a half-bot, or just confused?
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