Out of Pod Experience

 
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This tyranny must end!

Author
Ivy League
#1 - 2017-01-09 09:11:21 UTC
To do my bit to end the tyranny, I went to the doctors and he prescribed me anti-oppressants!

BTW I blame vandals for that joke, it wasn't me wot did it. Honest.

The voices in my head told me to post this. Mind you they also tell me to buy chocolate, so it can't all be bad.

#2 - 2017-01-11 01:48:12 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
This may just be the seed capital needed to start another awful jokes thread....

What was the Scorpion's favorite song?
Rokh You Like a Hurricane. Oops
#3 - 2017-01-12 01:35:48 UTC
Electus Matari
#4 - 2017-01-12 08:37:21 UTC
When i was little my father hit me witha camera, i still have flashbacks Smile
Ivy League
#5 - 2017-01-12 08:53:31 UTC
People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.

The voices in my head told me to post this. Mind you they also tell me to buy chocolate, so it can't all be bad.

Electus Matari
#6 - 2017-01-12 09:40:42 UTC
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that."

#7 - 2017-01-12 19:58:57 UTC
(OP, you've created a monster....)

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well, she's not actually my girlfriend yet.
#8 - 2017-01-13 16:21:22 UTC
This thread is two-thirds of a pun.

PEE EWW.

Twisted

Relatively Notorious By Association

My Many Misadventures

I predicted FAUXs

Electus Matari
#9 - 2017-01-14 23:40:18 UTC
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
#10 - 2017-01-15 17:21:31 UTC
I wondered why the ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Templis CALSF
#11 - 2017-01-15 19:20:42 UTC
How to spot a blind man on a nudist beach?

Well it's not hard, really...

#12 - 2017-01-16 20:04:18 UTC
If at first you dont succeed, then maybe skydiving isnt for you
#13 - 2017-01-18 00:43:41 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
Doctor, I've got a problem. Recently I've been having a lot of Freudian slips.
-For example?
The other night, I meant to say to my mother-in-law, "Could you pass the butter?" But instead I said, "You ruined my life, you stupid cow!"
Legio De Mortem
#14 - 2017-01-19 09:47:20 UTC
Even though I'm proud of my Father for inventing the rear view mirror we're not as close as we appear

Member and Judge of the Court of Crime and Punishment

Noragens basically the Chribba of C&P - Zimmy Zeta

Confirming that we all play in Noragen's eve. - BeBopAReBop

ISD Max Trix favourite ISD

'"****station games" - Sun Tzu' - Ralph King Griffin

Electus Matari
#15 - 2017-01-19 11:04:05 UTC
"My neighbor's in the guinness book of records. He's had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone's throw away, in fact."
#16 - 2017-01-19 20:58:15 UTC
I really, really love pi. I know, it's irrational.
Electus Matari
#17 - 2017-01-19 22:50:53 UTC
Why did you have to start this Khergit, i can't quit Big smile

My doctor thinks I’m taking hallucinogenic drugs… how do I know?… let’s just say a little bird told me.
#18 - 2017-01-20 00:54:13 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
It wasn't me, it was Sunforge. I'd never do something as heinous. It's worse that humming [censored, not going to do it to you] and giving everybody a horrible earworm. Smile

I'm out of new ammo, have to recycle this one from an old thread:

Once there was a boy with a wooden eye and a girl with bad buck teeth. Neither one ever could get at date.
One day the boy asked the girl, "Do you want to go on a date?"
The girl answered, "Would I!"
And the boy said, "Buck teeth, buck teeth!"
Legio De Mortem
#19 - 2017-01-20 01:36:08 UTC
A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation for a local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water

Member and Judge of the Court of Crime and Punishment

Noragens basically the Chribba of C&P - Zimmy Zeta

Confirming that we all play in Noragen's eve. - BeBopAReBop

ISD Max Trix favourite ISD

'"****station games" - Sun Tzu' - Ralph King Griffin

#20 - 2017-01-20 03:46:36 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
There once was an inflatable boy, with an inflatable family, who lived in an inflatable house and went to an inflatable school. One day he took a pin to school. The principal called him into the office. "Son, I'm very disappointed in you. You've let me down, the school down, and most of all, you've let yourself down."
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