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A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

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#1 Posted: 2012.03.29 19:59
A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here.

I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO
#2 Posted: 2012.03.29 21:26
Joyelle wrote:
you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income


That wasn't written by the CEO of J. P. Morgan, that was written by HONORABLE SIR MISTER J. P. MORGAN OF MORGANSHIRE BANK, NIGERIA.
Founding member of the Belligerent Undesirables movement.
#3 Posted: 2012.03.29 21:43
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:
Joyelle wrote:
you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income


That wasn't written by the CEO of J. P. Morgan, that was written by HONORABLE SIR MISTER J. P. MORGAN OF MORGANSHIRE BANK, NIGERIA.

I copied this from a link that my friend sent me on face book and to my understanding, "HONORABLE SIR MISTER J. P. MORGAN OF MORGANSHIRE BANK, NIGERIA" doesn't exist.
The Initiative.
#4 Posted: 2012.03.30 00:08  |  Edited by: OfBalance
Joyelle wrote:
I copied this from a link that my friend sent me on face book


And who would dare question the validity of a facebook post?

(And in case the story is true, they're both cunts.)
#5 Posted: 2012.03.30 01:11
The validity can be questioned. There's no doubt about that but the reply itself is spot on imo.
Amarr Empire
#6 Posted: 2012.03.30 01:23
I find it hilarious that he put 'leased' in quotes and let that whole thought process go by...
*Charges Twilight fans with Ka-bar* -Surfin's PlunderBunny
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Caldari State
#7 Posted: 2012.03.30 02:34
VKhaun Vex wrote:
I find it hilarious that he put 'leased' in quotes and let that whole thought process go by...


It didn't go by, it was just more subtle than outright suggesting prostitution.
#8 Posted: 2012.03.30 04:11
I'm pretty sure I saw that exact chain mail a couple of years ago...
#9 Posted: 2012.03.30 08:03
#10 Posted: 2012.03.30 08:04
Legit or not, I thought it was funny and he is right. I hope no one is stupid enough to marry that *****.
Gallente Federation
#11 Posted: 2012.03.30 08:16
Without any real sources I write this off as fake.

Also, that CEO guy had a pretty stupid line of reasoning there as well.
#12 Posted: 2012.03.30 09:21
This has been around for years, but it's still amusing.

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

wk42.
#13 Posted: 2012.03.30 10:16
That's a totally different version. Thanks for sharing!!
#14 Posted: 2012.03.30 10:26
No it's not...examine the reply it's neary word for word Roll

wk42
#15 Posted: 2012.03.30 13:11  |  Edited by: Micheal Dietrich
Joyelle wrote:
That's a totally different version. Thanks for sharing!!



That's the nature of chainmails. Just like the lighthouse vs boat story where the ownership of both vary from nation to nation, or the chicken cannon and the airplane window. This whole story is just made up. Yours has a CEO's name, his has craiglist numbers.
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#16 Posted: 2012.03.31 17:09
Joyelle wrote:
The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Can too! Once she gets your money she can buy bigger boobs, smoother skin, fuller lips, etc.
#17 Posted: 2012.03.31 17:14
Justa Altlol wrote:
Joyelle wrote:
The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Can too! Once she gets your money she can buy bigger boobs, smoother skin, fuller lips, etc.

Lol
#18 Posted: 2012.04.03 01:09
Chain letters make dumb people feel smart. At least they bring joy in that regard.
#19 Posted: 2012.04.09 01:49  |  Edited by: Telegram Sam

Ha, good one.

Fake 'looking for rich husband' post or not, there are women who think exactly this way. Some even after they're 40, 50, 60... Dreaming the dream and working it to get it.
Vitoc Health Services
#20 Posted: 2012.04.09 09:23
I dont know if this is real or not but it's awesome!
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