# Off-Topic Thread vol. 2 **URL:** \ **Category:** Intergalactic Summit\ **Created:** [July 4, 2019, 2:24pm UTC](https://forums.eveonline.com/t/off-topic-thread-vol-2/171718 "2019-07-04T14:24:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 1740
**Author:** ![Aria\_Jenneth](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/eveonline/user_avatar/forums.eveonline.com/aria_jenneth/32/469792_2.png) [@Aria\_Jenneth](https://forums.eveonline.com/u/Aria_Jenneth)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2019, 3:21pm UTC](https://forums.eveonline.com/t/off-topic-thread-vol-2/171718/1740 "2019-12-12T15:21:25Z")
> [@The nature and end of Pax Amarria](https://forums.eveonline.com/t/the-nature-and-end-of-pax-amarria/205930/17): > > At this point Jenneth, there is little distinction between you are your Amarr masters, despite whatever you tell yourself at night. > [@The nature and end of Pax Amarria](https://forums.eveonline.com/t/the-nature-and-end-of-pax-amarria/205930/18): > > You may not be a citizen or member of the Faith, but functionally, you are Amarr. > [@The nature and end of Pax Amarria](https://forums.eveonline.com/t/the-nature-and-end-of-pax-amarria/205930/19): > > It wasn’t long ago you were proudly announcing your associations and affiliations with the Amarr, so which is it? Are you one with them or not? I’ve made no secret of why I’m here: there’s a debt I want to repay, a promise I want to keep, and someone I want to make sure is protected. While I sometimes experiment with greater causes (in general, I lean pro-civilization and pro-peace), in the end I’m only really loyal to Directrix Daphiti. Directrix Daphiti is loyal to Amarr. Things have changed over the last few years, in this way and that. I feel a little more like a whole, adult person, now instead of … kind of a lost child who’s also a hollow place in the air. I’ve made mistakes, hurt people, gotten hurt … maybe more importantly, gotten really badly tangled up in the world. But, that’s life, or maybe “living.” I haven’t lost the identity I came into this world with. It’s more like I’ve been filling in the empty spaces-- trying out different ways of being whole. A lot of that’s definitely been filling with stuff I pick up from the Amarr-- or, inversely, from their enemies. More and more, the Empire is home. Even now, though, I watch Amarrian society with a detached eye, a long-term visitor observing a culture that isn’t my own. Their Faith is admirable. I see its utility, the unity it inspires. Maybe if they really could conquer the world, they’d deserve to. God doesn’t have to be real for Amarr to be strong. I always said, though, that I’d convert only if I came to truly believe in the Amarrian cause and god. I don’t want to lie, to God or to the people I’m close to. And I don’t believe. And it’s not like I’m such a strong person. If I can resist, even here, even under the influence of so many people I admire and love, why are people so afraid that they’re going to show up and talk everyone’s native religions to death? Even if they aspire to do something like that, that doesn’t mean they’re automatically going to win, even with a whole army of Archbishop Baraccas. Anyway … as it stands, I find a lot to admire in the Empire, but also I said at the beginning, long ago, that I’d hear criticism from the Matari-- that I recognize their grievance as valid, and I’d listen. Maybe I haven’t always done great at that, but it’s still true. It just maybe doesn’t change things as much as people might assume or hope. After all, even if I have sympathy, my duty remains. There aren’t a lot of people who are really in a position to persuade me it’s time to go, so maybe I should stop listening after all and save myself the stress and you the frustration. It seems like I might miss something important if I did, though. --- _[View the full topic](https://forums.eveonline.com/t/off-topic-thread-vol-2/171718)._