No. I am done with violence. I do not get many dreams, but this Christmas I was visited by the ghost of my future self, and I did not like what I saw. The destiny I envisioned is not the Destiny that I want to be. It is time to turn over a new leaf and start acting like a genuine human being, instead of some kind of trollish little pudknocker.
And thus, this year I have resolved to not kill anyone in EVE. In fact, I am committed to not kill anyone in video games, period. Whether floating among the golden, sanctified nebulae of Amarr Empire space in our beloved MMO, or walking the dreary, rolling hills of Chernarus in DayZ, my hands will work tirelessly not to maim and destroy, but to heal and create. I will manage industrial ventures to fortify EVE’s economy, and foster a spirit of friendship and cooperation. I see now that working together with other capsuleers to ensure a plentiful market for players new and old is the way forward.
Now, some of you might remember that I made some similar promises last year. And I can hear you saying “silly Destiny, how did that work out for you? You’ve turned YC124 into an absolute bloodbath, like some kind of deranged, mushroom-gobbling berserker!”
I want you to know that I hear you loud and clear. Let the path forward be marked by this good-faith admission: I have failed to stay true to my pledge over these last twelve months, and for this I feel great shame, and apologize profusely. But while I will not try to make excuses for coming up so short on my vows, I implore you to consider some degree of lenience, as you surely understand just how difficult it is for me to live up to the standards of a respectable, contributing member of society, like the ones who work tirelessly to make our community a better place by spending countless hours brainstorming and arguing for changes that will bring this game into its third decade.
So I raise my chin up high, and march toward the new year’s sunrise. I might not be perfect, but I feel that my conscience is clean, and my heart is in the right place. I am confident that this will finally be the year when I live up to everyone’s expectations, and join the pantheon of EVE’s most beloved and respected players atop the mountain that it is my duty to climb.
We are into the year’s third day, and already I am doing so well! With everyone’s love and support behind me, I know that absolutely nothing can possibly go wrong.