The ideal corp doesn't exist. CMV

Looking for a unicorn apparently.

What I bring:

  • 10+m sp omega main, 6+m sp omega alt, couple of 5.5m sp alpha alts. Skilled around cruiser down PVP. Caracal, hound, stiletto, jackdaw, jaguar, wolf, T2 small guns, T2 light missiles, T2 rockets. Excellent fitting skills.
  • Currently skilling into drones for PVE isk self-sufficiency reasons.
  • Been playing on and off for a long time and I have the 2005 toon to prove it. Not a total newbro but not elite either.
  • Eager to learn the ways of the small gang life, this appeals the most to me.
  • Willing to step up, willing to FC, willing to learn by exploding.
  • British. FWIW.
  • Quite flexible on TZ. High availability, highly active. WFH.
  • Prefer to be in voice comms when logged in.
  • Willing to auth toons if necessary.
  • Strongly team focused, I put my corpmates first. Loyal to a fault.
  • Graceful loser, humble winner.
  • Would much rather undock and die than spin safe and be bored.
  • Creatively inclined, good with logos and such, willing to contribute with this.
  • I’m told I have a good sense of humour. I pride myself in being tactful and respectful in comms.
  • I like a nice chit chat.
  • I like cats.

What you offer:

  • FW, Lowsec, Null, or J-space.
  • Highly active small gang focused PVP.
  • Good comms culture.
  • Decently stocked reasonably priced market, no market bluef*cking.
  • Emotionally mature adults with fully formed prefrontal cortex, minimum 25+ but preferably 30+.
  • Preferably mostly UK/EU/AU pilots for maturity and banter reasons.
  • Prefer more conservative leaning crowd or at least a “leave politics at the door” policy.
  • Handouts and SRP a welcome bonus but not absolutely necessary.
  • Good PVE on doorstep would be nice.
  • Willing to help people learn the small gang life.
  • Actually give a ■■■■ about your killboard as a reflection of your ability, but aren’t salty about losses either.
  • You’ve seen the list of ships I can fly and thought to yourself “yeah this guy would be busy with us”.
  • No sitting around waiting for fleet pings, if you’re logged in then let’s gooooooo.

What you DON’T offer:

  • “Oh you can’t fly our high-sp DPS doctrine? That’s okay here’s a T1 logi/ewar/tackle frigate to skill into.”
  • Sovnull cancer. “flashform machariels under progodlegend, we’ve got a timer to defend!”
  • Pochven.
  • No offence to my American friends but typical USTZ drama/immaturity.
  • Won’t undock except for pinged fleet.
  • Super-elite 25m sp minimum, T3C + HAC fleet, faction modules or bust.
  • Catgirl/anime creepiness.
  • Your English dialect is memes.
  • Toxic “HTFU” internet edgelords in comms insulting someone’s intellectual capacity just because they were under the mistaken impression that you can’t fit a macguffin on a thingamajig without a stuffinator.
  • Risk averse ship spinners/undock sitters.
  • Excessive IT services… one or two is fine but if you’ve got slack+mumble+discord+teamspeak+forums+auth+coalition IT please miss me with that BS.
  • Paplinks, participation requirements, “it’s only 3 fleets per month!”.
  • Affiliation with Goons or the SA forums.
1 Like

What if we fit everything but have furries and are ex goons living in a WH? D:

Are… is this a troll? This reeks of /r/iamverysmart.

I don’t see why that would be a problem if you fit everything else.

Hey @Bulletz

We can cover some/most of what you are looking for so kinda depends on what priority you put stuff in. We are The Dark Vanguard, EUTZ LS pvp corp. we’re good at the small gang, “let’s just go shoot stuff”, laid back attitude with a lot of experience and competent leadership.

We are much smaller than you’ve said (15-20 active people) and not very pve focussed (we can probably help you a bit but it’s just not our play style) so you’d need to take this into consideration.

We also run our own alliance so it you want to do more than just log in and want to be part of a group with a vision we have this in spades!

KB: Corp The Dark Vanguard | Corporation | zKillboard. Alliance Denial of Service. | Alliance | zKillboard


That actually sounds perfect, I’ll shoot you an in game mail.

O/ Capsuleer!

I wish to invite you to consider Valklears., a proud member of WINMATAR Alliance. We live and operate in the Region of Venal, which is Guristas Pirate-controlled, NPC Null Sec in the north. The Region offers a number of ways to make isk, plenty of content to satisify any level of blood lust, and connections to many other regions(which is great for allowing us to extend our reign of terror and chaos).

If interested, please drop by our in-game pub: Valklears.Pub or join our Discord Server and ask to speak with a Recruiter!

Best wishes on your search and continue to fly recklessly!

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