WTS: Pottled Bemis 7 mil sp born around 7/23/2017 30 days ago - great name!

(Pottled Bemis) #1

I have been training him with some skills in Mining Gas. CLEAN employment history :slight_smile:
Benis was made 15 days ago according to my calculations ^.^

Was about to keep injecting; but I stopped… ^.^

Good name, nobody knows him ^.^

Clean empty Employment History ^.^

No losses
0 Deaths
No kills
0 Victories
No kill rights on him: He put the pie Weeble gave him and put it away in safe and locked everything correctly.

Head full of +5’s

Positive wallet, Clone in High Sec, Two remaps on him

Around 1 mil Unallocated SP

10 bil starting bid

( extra has been charged for name no shenanigans )

Auction Ends 9/5/2017

Buyout is 20 bil

Ingame offers accepted

Pottled Bemis Brief History Part I

Pottled Grew up to be a Gangsta, living out of the Tama Solar System, and as a thief he was a young proliferous writer, he knew these things whilst looking out his obvious window in the Tama main hub HQ station, eating pie. Pottled used to be able to throw down on Auctions bids making billions and, " Because of my Biology Skillz, I would just keep reanimating myself in my science lab and coming back with more Skillz cuz all my friends know my formula" he would sometimes tell news informers. Now Pottled is growing out of everyones Petri Dish across the Universe. Back at a very young age, somewhere around 2005, Pottled had been sitting in his station, selling dead ssi #'s, off dead Corpses because he found he couldn’t undock in Tama. He would sell Corpses or anything he could get his hands on to the highest bidder in Tama region. It took no more than 24 hours before he was working hard night shifts for them as a Mercenary on the side as well. He would do this until it was time to move bodies or before things got Pottled in one area and he would usually get his hands and fingers in the wrong piehole first, somewhere else before that happened, so that way he didn’t have to deal with the consequences in that System or Region that day, and well this would usually cause an even more bigger catastrophic chain line of events down the path as a result, sometimes, unbewknownst Pottled actually really knowing it.

Pottled is already a Politician by the time he upgrades to his Iteron Mark IV without rigs in 2006 and moves from Dodixie to Tama. Pottled Bemis claims he only went there, while in his magical life, practicing hunting and firearms. “The Qual on that one Planet made me do it”, damn, he thought, what was the name of that one Solar System that starts with a Q. It was there that Bemis learned the arts of Musashi. Taking classes such as the fullowing:

Information Technology
Computer Science
Data Science
Wielding Swords
Business Administration

He knew it was time to return to the Hyperbolic Time Chamber. Things happened there 2x slower than in RL. He knew he was a WH gangsta and he didn’t need to move to Rens, because he was already one where he was and didn’t need to. Pottled progressed more than his other students at an early age. He still thinks he knows things; even though sadly, Bemis once lived in a Trailer Park, in a 0.6 high sec status system in some horrible offshore prison on some shitty planet about 4 jumps from Jita, " the Jan system " he called it. Pottled knew in some situations he could be a extremely proficient Figher Bomber Pilot and Bomber, if he wanted to but made more isk in going to strippers, sex, drugs and alcohol. Bemis also thinks that he cannot carry a Magnum correctly anymore, by actually concealing it the front pocket of his pants under hisblack belt. Being a Samurai and a Politican is hard when you don’t want your balls blown.

Pottled Bemis wants to quit his habits. He thinks that himself actually having suffered from Heart Murmer for so long and being a recluse, with his weapon, eventually made him think that others would actually think he was unintelligent and he believed this and this thought, made Bemis actually, think he was a Beetle in RL, and that he was suffering from some form of, ‘The Arrhythmias’, which actually made things worse, which in fact did give him Arrhythmias, thus worsening the Heart Murmer and the rest of his condition.

" Ohhhh man ", he goes, " The control and control of this Arrhythmias ‘, Bemis would sometimes say with his throat still course and dry, " I gotta control the control of my Arrhythmias, I a’gotta talk to my Doctor about this ". Pottled also thinks he already has some bad form of Heart Murmer and this makes it hard for him to take a deep breathe while in flight sometimes; especially when he knows it’s 0km and not a bookmark ( the ones before RMR and it’s not a roid’ ).

Bemis lost his old job and girlfriend secretely hauling slaves from Amarr to Dodixie at a very young age before he graduated the Academy. He begin having others do it for him because he couldn’t remember his flight out of Dodixie and put too much m3 on the flight. Pottled paid them room and board to haul his strippers, and Pottled paid in strippers, because for him, he felt Isk just wouldn’t be right. The slaves hauling didn’t do enough anyways for what he bought them for, nor what they were worth it in isk or time for the amount of strippers hauled anyway. It didn’t matter the amount of strippers they hauled for the amount he would give up cuz Bemis would make too much and he would get in trouble for too much hauling anyways, 'cause sometimes nobody knew how to haul except him. Nobody likes me in the Forge anyway, time to haul like a Jedi. Maybe I should go killing. I wonder where, do all these ships come in from Dodenvale wtf ? Why do I keep waking up with pie on my lips in the Dodixe desert," what the F**** am i doing out here ?" Bemis would sometimes say to himself.

Pottled Bemis likes to say to himself, “Now I have to run to the next system ovah” aloud in
local after P3NI5 smacking them. He does this without knowing mostly on drunk nights. He didn’t like this, the ratio was a small piehole and it was closing in and closing in fast. Now they invented WH’s, I have to find goggles there will be so much smoke in the room. I should move again.

He made sure his slaves were self trained and self sufficient, doing most of the work for themselves hauling all of his old, ‘slave friends’ back from the Guristas Rebellion in H-PA that Bemis had actually brought there to begin with. He thought he was stuck in a Catch-22. Bemis misse all the wars going on and he was too drunk. Some of his favorite women, he left with all his food and supplies and he knew they were in that System. " They will cheat on me with them wabbits " I just know it thought Pottled. Damn Guristas Pirates. I really love that system, " being stranded on a beautiful beach head of an island with strippers that are self sufficient “. Bemis knew these days were over. Bemis had once let go anyways, of all these beautiful women in this System. I do this, so that way I can get them good strippers to go south into low sec maybe, " maybe they will come back one day and have **** with me ?” he thought. Hmm, I shouldn’t have done that. Hmm, as he looked out his window in Tama. Those were some nice strippers back in the day. They should throw an awareness rally in Dodixie for that in a week.

Depressed constantly, he continues to let it lower his Dopamine levels which gives him more Alzheimers, which he then forgets things and as a result he cannot pay his slaves to haul strippers correctly, losing islands of isk and palm tree stocks, because he cannot get enough once they get under his skin… Depressed and losing grip on reality. Bemis never memorized the m3 of his cargo, and is unable to haul anything one day. Trapped in a System he thought was called intropspective. He now lost track of all his assets and all of his ships because of his memory. I wonder, " How am I going to wrap the skins". He could remember to do neither for both of his ships after purchasing them; what contraband Bemis might have been hiding in his ship that day he wondered before he suicided it briefely, it was always a mystery, if not even to himself and sometimes things still got Pottled. He would go to never ending lengths to not showing signs of concealing anything to anyone, including ship scanners, this made him on edge of what was actually in his cargo or on his mods- like a Gunslinger he thought. hehe, one day, in the Captains Quarters, Pottled thought his shipment of pie and cookies might have came in early, along with his smoke, but instead, the phone rang half past four, Bemis then leaned up and said, " It was half past four when the telephone rang that fateful evening ". but this time it was his Doctor telling him how much he wanted him to get Chucking Wood healthy again.

Bemis puts down the phone. I don’t think this man is a Doctor. "God, my chest, ", he thought, " Uhhhhghh ", Maybe i should sell this toon? I should probably get a different Doctor in a different Solar System, after 3 weeks of being alive in the world of Eve? Damn, i got something bad, I think I got AIDS or something from taking a sh***. That’s all I did, i’m only 30 days old… I don’t have any bad habits; it must be some kind of sin?

(Pottled Bemis) #2

bump :skull:

(senta Alleile) #3

no one is gonna buy that for 20bi can inject myself for that price

(Pottled Bemis) #4

That is just the Buyout. He is just starting 10 bil. Has 2 large injectors in his cargo and about 350 mil sp.

(senta Alleile) #5

assets cant be included in sales of characters

(Pottled Bemis) #6

Then I will just Inject em’ making a total 1 mil extra sp added in a minute then ^.^ Should update to Eveboard soon.

(Cristl) #7

How is this a good name? Pottled Bemis?

It looks like someone tried to spoonerise ‘Bottled Penis’ but fucked it up. I don’t get the reference.

(Mortanius) #8

I was taking a sh*** the other day and I came up with a great name for a Toon. It must have been some kind of sin. I was upside down when it happened; and the toilet still said, “Bemis”.

Someone wrote Pottled on the wall behind the Toilet, so it read, " Pottled Bemis " luckily for me I made this Toon just in time. CCP bans things i unno, so he will probably be reset like this fella here: 2005-12-13 Pilot 875,473 Total Skill points Clean Name by the time I go back from taking another sh*** one day ? who knows ^.^

(Mortanius) #9

He is being trained towards Bombers ^.^

(Pottled Bemis) #10

bump ^.^

(Pottled Bemis) #11


(Pottled Bemis) #12

bumpity bump

(Pottled Bemis) #13

bumpity bumpity bump

(Pottled Bemis) #14


(Pottled Bemis) #15


(Pottled Bemis) #16


(Pottled Bemis) #17


(Anakin Olacar) #18

3.8 bil

(Pottled Bemis) #19


(Pottled Bemis) #20