A proposal to the Sede... Sede...vaca... the "empty throne" people

Lol. The System is suggesting that I not reply directly to…

High Gallente addresses this problem with different words, creating a cascade of different participles and verb forms, all of which must be used exactly right - except for when Art demands one be used wrong in order to express irony, satire, or the futility of existence. People who use the wrong words at the right time become celebrated poets. People who are always wrong become shock politicians in underdeveloped districts running simultaneously against “Luminaire elites” and “Matari immigrants who steal jobs by working too hard.”

To express the plural “you” in Low Gallente requires either doing nothing and leaving it ambiguous because “sigh, effort;” or, adding a clarification, such as “you all” or “you guys” - which is then usually contracted into something “cute™” or “charming™” (e.g. “ya’ll” or “youse” or “youseguys”).

The Jin-Mei are a now common people who use the same writing system with different grammar and pronunciations. The Jin People, who claim to have invented the common writing system, place tremendous emphasis on enunciation and musicality when speaking. The Mei People, who claim to have invented the common writing system, always sound like they are screaming at one another.

My people occupy a belt of tropical archipelagos in between Jin Continent, Mei Continent, and Lai (no relation) Continent (which is half submerged). We, the Wa People (called “pirates” by Mei People and “Mei collaborators” by Jin People), improved the Jin People version of the common writing system by breaking up its monotonous presentation. We place emphasis on enunciation and musicality, while screaming at one another half the time - and speaking so quietly the other half of the time that gossiping relatives on the other side of sliced bamboo curtains cannot hear.

Jin People indicate plural you with contextual hand and eye gestures during their performances. Mei People are very numerous, and speak so loudly everyone four food alleys over hears, so they always speak in the plural. Wa People use context, gestures, and additional words to express plurals while strenuously avoiding pronouns altogether because meaningful conversations are best had between individuals who already know what the other person is going to say.

A system of government eerily similar to the one Adversary Kim is trying to describe was used by Jin People emperors to govern Lirsautton V from the time our world (which our archaeologists have now determined was a nature preserve built by the Yan Jung tycoon Ma Xi Pong to hide from his wife) lost contact with the galactic civilization up until that moment, preserved on gold-iridium disks stored in a secure undisclosed location, we first heard “bonjour!”

Having ensured the harmony of our world for many, many thousands of years, the system handed down by Ma Xi Pong’s nature preserve management team (which we revere today as Geomancer Sect) to protect his maddeningly adorable Red Cat Badger Bears was undeniably effective.

However, such a system is vulnerable to unforeseeable external technological shocks.

Failure to adapt to unforeseen external technological shocks results in situations like getting kicked off your home planet. Even the Matari, whose external shock included being enslaved by superstitious crusaders, are still in possession of their home planet.

The moment Commodore Perrier stepped off that big, blobby black operations Dominix, held out his big, beefy arms, said “bonjour” warmly, adjusted his mustache, and started kissing our nobility on their flawless cheeks, we, the little seeds of Geomancer Sect, knew it was time to reform our system and get with La Programme Nouvelle (after a brief internal conflict). Today, our genetically engineered bureaucrat caste serves as the backbone of federal administration, our genetically engineered synchronized dancers control the federal gaming, animation, and music scenes, and nature preserves everywhere, most recently including Kor-Azor Prime, pay phat banque to borrow mating pairs of Ma Xi Pong’s little Red Cat Badger Bears.

It is undeniable we might fail to adapt to some future shock in time to avoid getting kicked off our home planet, but having welcomed Commodore Perrier and his big, blobby, black operations Dominix, we will never be the first. Furthermore, the Federation will not be the first to lose more star systems to triangulators with cool accents than any other faction. It must be noted that “any” includes both our own faction (which is undeniably the least competent in the galaxy) and that of the Matari (who are only now recovering from having been enslaved by superstitious crusaders).

Indeed, the adaptability of ineffectiveness is a blessing that may forever fall beyond the grasp of those who are… ahem… “too effective” to be effective.

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