Recruitment is open! I got some new pajamas! Let’s have a slumber party! We can talk about celebrities, eat those cakes we like, and have fun shooting reds right in their stupid face, with missiles! It’ll be so much fun! I’m so excited!
Recruitment is open! I had a cooking mishap, and the only thing that saved me from having a hysterical meltdown right there in the kitchen was this corp, who taught me how to work through my feelings by shooting reds, right in their stupid face!
Recruitment is open! Please to meet!
Recruitment is open! Don’t despair! If you feel like you made the wrong choices in life, you can always improve things by shooting reds, right in their stupid face, with missiles! Try it, it’s very therapeutic!
Recruitment is open! All the best dog memes!
Recruitment is open! If you’re thinking about life choices, and you’re not sure what’s next and that maybe you’ve made a lot of mistakes in life, don’t worry! It happens to all of us! That celebrity couple you were obsessively following on social media just wasn’t going to work out, so don’t despair! We’re here to help you in this difficult time, because we love you.
Recruitment is open! Don’t forget, everything is better when you have cupcakes!
Recruitment is open! There’s always something new to learn, don’t be shy! We’re here to help you explore your … proclivities! If something is giving you new and confusing emotions, you’re on the right track! Try it, you might find you like it, and we here at AKS will always support your indulgences, because we love you.
Recruitment is open! Believe the hype! Follow the latest fashion trend! Drop everything and go along with the latest fad! Overturn your life on the whims of social-media celebrities!
Recruitment is open! We do not question why you need “make ISK” in your life. It is self-evident that “number” is good, and thus “more number” is better and desirable. We will help you get more number, because we love you and want you to be happy.
Recruitment is open! Come visit! We’ll cook bread and chat about your favorite tentacle-themed drone-fic!
Recruitment is open! Tomorrow, we make pancakes!
Recruitment is open! If you’re looking for a great way to work through “feelings,” there’s no better way than shooting reds, right in their stupid face, with missiles! Ask us how!
Recruitment is open! If you’re feeling uncertain about whether you’d fit in somewhere in New Eden, don’t despair! This is just the place for you, because we’ll never “kink shame” you for your enthusiasms. We support all your indulging of your curiosity about “logi” or “missiles” or “drone fic,” because we love you.
Recruitment is open! Remember: the only thing more therapeutic than yelling about celebrity fashion crimes is shooting reds right in their stupid face, with missiles!
Recruitment is open! Don’t worry, we’ll make some discreet payments to the local authorities and all this recent unpleasantness will be quickly forgotten!
Recruitment is open! I tried to do “sport” this morning and now everything hurts! Lesson learned!
Recruitment is open! AKS is here to help you discover all the new and exciting feelings you can have when you do “ewar” or “logi” or “ship-swapping.” We’ll never “kink shame” you for your enthusiasms, because we love you.
Recruitment is open! Don’t forget! When you’re finding yourself in confusing, unfamiliar surroundings (such as waking up under the gangway in some Gallente backwater wearing somebody else’s clothes, which is an example that is definitely made up and has nothing to do at all with why we weren’t returning your calls that one weekend), don’t panic! The friendly pilots at AKS are here to help you out of this difficult situation!
Recruitment is open! In our defense, things got out of hand! Mistakes were made! But the important thing is looking toward the future, so let’s not talk about all that recent unpleasantness!