Recruitment is open! Remember! We’ll never “kink shame” you about your ewar fetish, because we love you.
Recruitment is open! I made cupcakes!
Recruitment is open! We live in exciting times, and if you feel like you’re not yet emotionally ready to hear about the latest fashion crimes, don’t worry! We’re here to help you through it!
Recruitment is open! Don’t worry, you’re doing great!
Recruitment is open! If you would like to know what it’s like to work out those “emotions” through aggression therapy, we can help! There’s nothing better for dealing with your feelings about the latest celebrity fashion crime than shooting some reds right in their stupid face, with missiles!
Recruitment is open! Don’t miss our weekly “concept” baking workshop, where we deconstruct things like “meaning” in pastry recipes!
Recruitment is open! Don’t worry, it’ll all make sense someday!
Recruitment is open! I’m sure we’ve all done things in our past that make us feel “regret”! Let’s not talk about all that unpleasantness, and think about the future instead!
Recruitment is open! Don’t ask us about our weekend, we don’t remember any of it!
Recruitment is open! In our defense, somebody should have stopped us before it got that far!
Recruitment is open! If you are experiencing Feelings™ when you think about things like “ewar” or “ship-swapping,” don’t be ashamed! At AK.S, we’ll never “kink shame” you for your enthusiasms, because we love you.
Recruitment is open! There’s a breakfast bar over there, next to the pile of old tentacle-themed drone-fic! Don’t worry about that stuff, it’ll make sense later!
Recruitment is open! If you’re feeling uncertain about your future, and you’re thinking you might want to do something dramatic, like “crime spree” or “wanton debauchery” or “get bangs”, don’t despair! We’re here to help you sort things out in this difficult time!
Recruitment is open! Remember to change your underpants, and wash them regularly!
Recruitment is open! There’s no better time than right now!
Recruitment is open! If you’ve ever woken up under a gangway in some backwater Gallente station, wearing somebody else’s clothes and with no memory of the last few days, don’t worry! We know just which petty corrupt local officials to bribe to make it all go away!
Recruitment is open! Don’t worry if nothing makes sense! We’ve been living in New Eden for fifteen years and we still feel like that every day!
Recruitment is open! I’m baking bread! That’s not even some weird euphemism, it’s a nice sourdough!
Recruitment is open! Happy birthday EVE!
Recruitment is open! Today, if you’re feeling lost and unsure of what to do with yourself, and “spray a full can of QuafeWhip-brand whipped dessert topping directly into your mouth” isn’t doing it for you, we can help! There are all kinds of ways to experience body horror just to feel something again, ask us how!