Recruitment is open! Happy Solstice! Remember, the best way to celebrate the inexorable turning of the wheel is by erecting a crude monument to the vulgar gods of old, and performing an awful ritual! Try it, you’ll feel rejuvenated!
Recruitment is open! Don’t ask, this will all make sense when you’re older!
Recruitment is open! Don’t ask about that pile of weird fashion items piled up in the corner!
Recruitment is open! Everything is better with cupcakes!
Recruitment is open! If you’re wondering why everybody is suddenly talking about your favorite celebrity couple, you might want to sit down before you read the latest drama! But don’t despair! We’re here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on, because we love you.
Recruitment is open! Remember to take little breaks to do things for yourself, like drink some water, sit in the park, or shoot some reds right in their stupid face, with missiles! It’s called self-care!
Recruitment is open! I made pancakes!
Recruitment is open! If you’re thinking to yourself that New Eden is confusing, and you need something extra to help you ground yourself amid all the chaos, don’t worry! Our on-staff fashion consultants are standing by to help you select the perfect “statement” accessory to complete your “look”!
Recruitment is open! If you’re the kind of person who has a mighty need to get hardcore nonstop pvp sexytimes with your spaceship, right there in front’a god’n erry’body, then this is the place for you! We’re here to help your indulge your enthusiasms, even the weird stuff!
Recruitment is open! If you’re feeling lost in the world, like that time you read on social media that your favorite celebrity was actually “problematic” and now you don’t even know what anything means anymore, don’t despair! We’re here to help you sort things out in these trying times!
Recruitment is open! Let’s make cupcakes!
Recruitment is open! If you’re thinking that this latest “fashion concept” might be the thing that’s finally going to turns things around for you, come talk to us first! Our consultants are here to help you before you take any drastic measures that might have unforeseen, life-altering consequences!
Recruitment is open! Don’t forget to bring the dog memes!
Recruitment is open! If you’re felling like you just need the right combination of quirky fashion accessories to help you feel grounded in a big, confusing universe, don’t worry! Our consultants are here to help!
Recruitment is open! Don’t miss our monthly avant-garde poetry “slam” events! You’ll be shocked at how our resident conceptual artists deconstruct basic concepts into something alien and unrecognizable! With any luck, you’ll lose all faith in the idea of “meaning” or “objective reality”!
Recruitment is open! If you’re excited and confused by all the new emotions you’re experiencing when you learn about things like “ewar” and “ship-swapping,” come hang out with us! We’ll help you discover all your enthusiasms, even the weird stuff!
Recruitment is open! Everything is better with pancakes, even when it’s fashion!
Recruitment is open! Don’t worry if everything is confusing right now! Join us, and it’ll all make sense!
Recruitment is open! If you’ve never woken up in some strange Gallente backwater wearing somebody else’s clothes with no memory of the previous 72 hours, are you even living in New Eden? Come join us to find out how to live your best life!
Recruitment is open! If you’re feeling unsure about EVE, or just life in general, before you do something drastic like “get bangs” or “explore retro fashion”, don’t give up hope! Our team of specialists is here to help you through this difficult time!