Akadeimia Keipouron: We'll teach YOU HOTT Space-Knowledge Sexytimes!

Recruitment is open! If you’ve ever been curious about things that give you new and confusing emotions like “blops” and “ewar”, come hang out with us! We’ll always support your enthusiasms and never “kink shame” you about it, because we love you.

Recruitment is open! I’m really feeling good about this new fitness routine, I think it might be just what’s finally going to turn things around for me!

Recruitment is open! I made hummus! It was yummy!

Recruitment is open! Update: all the hummus is gone!

Recruitment is open! If you’re feeling lost and hopeless, don’t despair! Your favorite celebrity couple is just “going through a rough patch” right now, and love isn’t dead! There’s hope in the universe, and we’re here to help you find it again!

Recruitment is open! Guess what! I took a DNA test and now I understand why asparagus makes my pee smell funny!

Recruitment is open! We’ve got those cakes you like!

Recruitment is open! If you’re reading the news about “hot break-up summer” and just found out your favorite celebrity couple is OVER and now there are all kinds of horrible stories on social media, don’t despair! Love is not dead, and there is hope, yes, even for you! and not everything is “fake” and “a lie”! Come visit our Discord, and we’ll help you develop healthy coping mechanisms for this difficult time!

Recruitment is open! In retrospect, “I’m going to get BANGS” should have been seen for the call for help that it was!

Recruitment is open! Have you ever woken up after a long weekend in unfamiliar surroundings and sore in ambiguous places, unsure how you got there or whose clothes you’re wearing or why the station’s security personnel keeps sending you urgent messages to get in touch with them?
It can happen to any of us! But don’t worry! We here at AKS are always ready to help you sort out these confusing situations!

Recruitment is open! Come see our weekly poetry slam! Prepare to have basic concepts like “words” and “meaning” dismantled right before your eyes!

Recruitment is open! If you’re feeling despondent because of “haters” on “blog”, don’t worry! Spend some time with our trained specialists, and you’ll learn that “breakfast muffin discourse” is actually not the high-stakes battle of wills that you thought it was! There’s hope at the end of the comments section!

Recruitment is open! Don’t listen to those people telling you to “go outside” or “touch grass” (hands off the stash, man!) or embark on a daring adventure to win over your celebrity crush with a bold and public display of your affections! There is only EVE, and AK.S is here to help you discover it, because we love you.

Recruitment is open! A wonderful world of adventure awaits, if you’re just willing to set aside old, outdated ideas about “crime” and “fashion”!

Recruitment is open! Come join one of my fleets and enjoy my “ASMR” FCing style. I’ll crinkle cellophane bags and eat chips while whispering all the commands! You won’t believe it when the frisson hits!

Recruitment is open! If you’re confused by what celebrities are doing with this year’s latest fashion concepts, our team of helpful experts are here to help you sort things out in this difficult time!

Recruitment is open! Remember to change your underwear regularly!

Recruitment is open! Just remember: when things are difficult in life, like when you have to deal with “haters” on “social media”, there are resources available to help! Our trained professionals are standing by to help you work through things!

Recruitment is open! Sometimes, you just need to work through your feelings by writing “call out posts” about celebrity fashion crimes, but sometimes, that’s not enough! For those especially difficult times, you can work out all those negative emotions by shooting reds right in their stupid face, with missiles! Ask us how!

Recruitment is open! Let’s eat pancakes!