Dear Santa ,

You smug fat shite ,

I know your a little bitter about your naughty list being made mutual,
mate I get it , I’d be willing to cut you some slack because of it,
Hell i didn’t even ask for anything or threaten you this year but you just had to go and fill every corpse i own with carbon didn’t you.
Think you’re funny?
Ffs you even found corpses I’d lost and filled them.
I know you fell off the wagon but that shite you pulled in my corpse locker, man, I know Leto didn’t have a candy cane there Santa , Too far man, too far.
I’d expect that crap from Omar or Mort.

I don’t care how far Down the bottle you are ,
I’m going to find you and I’m going to beat your ass with an elf and I’m going to make your missus watch.

Yours vengefully


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