Loyality after

A rug lay on the floor of the station cabine. Simple and bare on the inside an intrinsical complex pattern was weaved into it’s fabric on the edges. Her legs crossed she had taken place on the center of the rug. In the center of the station cabin.

A knife, curved steel marking the blade and leather ribbons the hilt. It would be family heirlome if it hadn’t been replicated by nano carvings and if the leather would not be of artificial kind. Still for the purppose of the now it did suffice.

She inhaled. For a faint moment she tried to taste the air around her. The smell of concrete not of sand. The smell of steel beams not that of trees. The smell of sandelwood slowly burnign to ashes.

For the purpose of the now this did suffice.

She put her left hand on the hilt of the knife. For a second the events how she had gotten this knife passed her inner eyes. It was not the knife she touched she had been given back then. Nothing she had been given in the past was still in her possesion. Not the knife, not the life, not her body.

The door bell rang. She opened her eyes and raised herself. Tapping her knees for a second she felt ready to open the door.

She walked over to the door »Who’s it?«

»Mis Skjem I’m Station technician Herdlo.«

The sideways moving door revealed a lithe member of the sebiestor tribe.

»Hell Mister Herdlo thanks for coming over however I assumed my technical problems to be so miniscuel that they could be solved somewhen.«

The sebiestor shook his head.

»It’s more complicate than it seemed, we did a routine check up and found some serious issues with the water supply system in this section of the station.«

She mustered the man that was a stranger to her. »And you deduced that it must be my cabin that is the source of this problem?«

»Nah we found we need to check all cabins in this section.«

She smiled. »Sorry for taking my self to serious of a matter, so what am I to do now?«

»Well either you watch me do my job …«

She nodded.

»…or you take a stroll while I do my work.«

»You know, best idea ever.«

He looked confused. »You are saying?«

She looked around the cabin »I only rented this room for the night so I’m free to leave it. Just let me pick up some personal stuff, then the room is all yours.«

He nodded. She walked to the rug and formed it to a roll the knife inside After this she walked to the door. He eyes her and the rug she was holding. »Nice rug, looks somewhat traditional tribal.«

»Nah and yeah, it’s a present from my deceased uncle. I find solance in remembering him by carrying his present.«

He nodded and smiled. »Now that is loyality in a strange yet strong way.«

»Hmm what you mean?« she insisted.

»Well you carrying something from a deceased relative with you to keep the memories fresh, this is like a feat of loyality, doing something for someone who can’t do it.«

She smiled »I guess your right, I’m loyal to his spirit even when it’s not here anymore.« With this she left the room. »Good luck with your repairs Mr. Herdlo.«

»Well« he pointed to the incinerator »you leave this behind?«

She laughed »It makes a nice atmosphere in here and it was cheap so I leave it for someone who needs it.« Having said that she walked away.

»Your a weird one you know« the mechanic said to her.

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The girl sat near the fireplace. Flames where dancing wildly on blackened branches, a vibrant mixture of orange and red colours embracing each other. Like a breathing liquid the fire was moving over the wood. Abrutly sinking and rising, twitching and resting, as if revelling in this being here and existing at this place.

It cracked as orange sparkes spew into the air. Thrown on a course they did not know. Being unaware of the duration they had until going out and perishing. For a moment she pondered if she should call out to the sparks and tell them of their fate.

Enlightem them to the truth of their finitiness. Make them aware of their short lifespan. She wondered if they would care to listen. Would slow down and be attensive to her. »We all come from fire« she silently rephrased the shamans teaching.

She heard footsteps somewhere in the room. They seemed to be behind her. »So are we still angry.« her mothers voice echoed through the hall. The tone of the voice was cool, relaxed yet the words in her mother tongue were choosen in an uneasy way. The words implied sadness of a parent related to the behaviour of a child.

She looked to the floor gacing on the bend knife laying on the floor its blade now clean again. »Why?« she asked the knife. »Because it had to be done.« replied her mother’s voice. This time her mother’s voice had been soft, like trying to comfort her. »Is that all you say?« She stared at the knife.

»There is nothing more to say.« No further step could be heared. She looked up, her mother standing besides her. »Then tell me why was I tasked to care about him? To feed him? To nurse him?« She stuttert. For a lengthy moment there was silence only cracking of the fire could be heard.

Then a hand came to rest softly on her shoulder.

»Think of it this way: It was for the best of the clan.« She felt her nackles raise. »So there could be a feast and you could dine on his corps? That is the best for the clan?« she inquired. Her mother lifted her hand and walked some steps to return with a stool. Putting it on the floor, sitting down on it, she came to rest between the girl and the fire. The girl suddenly felt cold, like chilly air was creeping her arms upwards.

Her mother’s eyes fixated her eyes. »We do not simply dine on his corps we honour his sacrifice for the clan and that you allowed him to sacrifice himself for the clan.« the voice of her mother sounded happy and joyfully. »And we feast on his corps to celebrate your feast to allow him to pass from the living to the other world.«

The girl wanted to gaze somewhere else but she was incapalbe to remove her eyes from the her mother’s figure. »And we celebrate that you manage to succeded in proving you are ready for what is necessary at your age.«

»But he wasn’t sick or weak. He was full of vitality and vigor and yesterday we played together.« the girl bellowed. »It’s just so wrong to kill such life for the sake of the clan.« Her mother smiled. »It is not wrong. It is what’s needed for the greater good.«

The girld eyes weeped and a tear dropped from her cheek onto the blade of the knife. He mother stood up »I did the same at your age. And I never looked back and so will you in some years.« Shaking her head the elder woman walked away.

»One question.« The girl said »Is he now at a better place than here?« The steps of her mother stopped. »He is still here, he’s your spirit guardian now, be happy you have such a strong one.«

That said she walked away leaving the room and the girl behind. The girl opened her right hand and looked insied, the few horse tails hair she had retained lay there. Indeed he was still with her.

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