News reaches Gutter Press of a controversy at Hedion University, regarding the classification of university textbooks, with groups of students and staff protesting about the issue, threatening to disrupt teaching, and prevent access to the University Library.
The textbook at the centre of the controversy is “Peculiar Diseases of the Minmatar”, the first edition of which was originally written 950 years ago by Hedion University medical researchers.
Several students have requested that the university reclassify the textbook from the “Livestock Management” category to the “Public Healthcare” category, while other students have opposed such a move.
Gutter Press agents visited Hedion University, to get the word on the ground.
“When Empress Jamyl 1, God rest her soul, gave the Emancipation Proclamation, it was clear that the Minmatar could no longer be regarded as mere livestock, like the Ealurians, but instead as 3rd class free citizens, behind the Khanid and Ni-Kunni”, said one student protest leader.
“I’m from Kor-Azor, the most progressive region of the Empire, and the kind of backwardness shown by the people wanting to keep the book in the livestock section of the library really offends me, and other right-thinking people”, said another protesting student.
“Omg, so like, I’m studying healthcare management, since I’m from like, Tash-Murkon Prime ? and like, a healthy citizen is a productive citizen and all that, like what Empress Catiz says ? So like, in the library, if you look at the livestock section, there’s like, always these kind of creepy guys there, and like, one of my sorority sisters said that like, the livestock management students all have like, clammy hands and stuff, and like, they giggle at the naked pictures in the books, which is like, totes immature ?”, said another student.
“As a loyal Kador subject, traditionalism is one of our key values, and reclassifying books based on the whims of liberal scholars and so-called progressives, is an affront to Amarr values, and should be condemned by any loyal Amarr subject”, said a shaven-headed student.
“Minmatar should know their place. And that place is in the barn, along with the cows and Ealurians. Empress Jamyl Sarum didn’t stop the Elder Fleet just so some Minmatars could come along and dictate things to their social betters”, said another counter-protester student.
“None of you lot are in class like you should be. You all get an F. Everyone gets an F. You too. Wait, you’re not a student, who are you ? Press ? You get an F as well !”, said a disgruntled university lecturer.
University officials mostly declined to comment, though one senior Librarian suggested a compromise may be possible, with future editions of the textbook being in the healthcare section.
It seems that the controversy will continue for some time.
Gutter Press News. What is written, stays written.