"We ain't selling a product! We need to sell a legacy!" [Gallente One-shot]


“The job of recruiting for the Federal Navy is a… Thankless job if you ask me. The Federation needs defenders, it needs her people to stand for her and ensure no threat does her harm. And these people must do it volunteeringly of their own free will as our very principles dictate… Annnnd I’d be lying if I said that didn’t make this job much harder. Don’t get me wrong, the military provides MANY benefits. It’s just that you gotta sell people on the idea to sign their lifestyle of leisure away to join the cold calculating machine that is the Navy. You got to dress it up for these people, romanticize it abit. Reach into them and convince them that this is what they want to be a part of… And if they have regrets after joining? Well… My job is just to get them to put their name down on the registry.”

  • Staff Sergeant Fresis

“We ain’t selling a product! We need to sell a legacy!”

January 13th YC 124

Dodixie IX - Moon 20 - Federation Navy Assembly Plant - Department of Recruitment

“… We’ve been locked in this room for the past five hours and we’re expected to have an idea on this paper that doesn’t look half assed by tomorrow morning. Now - I see nothing on this paper, so… I’m left to ask, why the hell is this the case? By all means, the floor is open… Please, I’m trying to be home sometime today.”

“… Does this translate to permission to speak freely Staff S-”

“-Yes Sergeant Matox. Permission to speak freely! Now give me an idea to put on this paper! You’re on this committee for a reason after all.”

“Look - My idea about rehashing the Navy’s history of kicking Syndicate ass back in Solitude is STILL a strong idea to me Ma’am.”

“No, for the last time Matox! We can’t risk alienating the Intaki demographic. We accidentally say the wrong thing or don’t provide enough context and it comes off as an attack on all Intaki. Not risking it Either we market towards one specific demographic, or all at them at once. No targets. Not in this day and age. I don’t care if they’re Caldari, Amarr, Intaki, Minmatar or ■■■■■■■ Jove. Alright? I want them walking into recruitment booths and into uniforms all the same. Got me?”

“We’re catering to the Solitude demographic with this! Easy numbers.”

“Solitude is a gimmie. We ain’t gotta waste time and resources making ads for people that already want in. They don’t need to be reminded how the Navy saved their ass… They know. They know damn well in fact.”

"I’m saying we can still tap into the everyday Federal citizen with that kind of imagery ma’am.

We can do that with literally any ad, we need something that is all encompassing. Something efficient! Corporal Mcvon! Tell me, have you thought of a better idea having sat there silently this whole time?

“Well ma’am I still think we should just focus on highlighting the benefits military service brings. Education, retirement plans, career opportunities…”

“Command wants us to come up with something that’s trying to connect with a person emotionally and not logically this time. They don’t want us to sell a product, they want us to sell a uh… Legacy! I guess… As bad as Matox idea is, at least he’s aiming for that emotional connection.”

“How about an animation then ma’am?”

“An animation?”

“Something… Cute and approachable I suppose.”

“… Cute and approachable? Corporal, what are you on about?”

“Well I’m saying we could start an ad campaign where we animate the real life stories of some of our servicemen in how their service has changed their life for the better. Make it relatable, keep it wholesome, build an emotional connection with the viewer so they can see themselves in them, and better see how those same benefits can improve their life the same.”

"… Well god damn Corporal, that might actually work. Both emotional, and logical. Write that down.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Now I want another idea. Yeah, don’t be shooting me those looks. We still need something purely emotional. Alright? We gotta appeal to the ■■■■■■■ lizard brain with this one. Come on! Shoot from the hip.”

“We get a holo-reel actor!”

“To do what, Matox? What are they playing?”

“Themselves! Just have them come on, endorse the Navy and encourage the viewer to enlist. Easy. Maybe get the licenses for one of their films and incorporate that into the pitch.”

“Who would we even get?”

“Devran Vicrum.”

“Go ■■■■ yourself Matox.”

“Come on! Chaos In Villore? Last Stand Tomorrow AND Last Stand Yesterday? ■■■■■■■… Threeway Proving?”

… Is that the title of a porno?"

“What? No Corporal, it’s his newest film, it’s about him leading a resistance cell in Vale. It’s him, the Trigs, and the turncoats that were his fellow colonists at one point. It’s awesome. Huge action and military buff! He is perfect for it!”

“We’re not about to blow the entire goddamn Iron Charge budget to put a closet-Unat asswipe like him in front of a camera to represent us, alright? Absolutely not.”

“Well what do you want exactly? What are we aiming for?”

“We ain’t selling a product! We need to sell a legacy!”

“… Legacy huh?”

“Sergeant Matox, consider your permission to speak freely revoked if you don’t have a good idea this time to provide.”

“It’s good! I think… So how about we have an ad for the Federal Marines where… It starts off with this footman, from the Garoun Empire, right? And he’s running into battle with all his chainmail and ■■■■. And just like in those graphics comparison videos, you have this sliding transition of this Garoun soldier turning into a modern day Marine. Maybe have a catapult in the background that shifts into a tank when the transition slides over.”

“… Okay that’s something, Corporal, write that down!”

“Yes ma’am!”

“Matox, keep going.”

“And this can either be one big ad, or separate ads where we use other ancient warriors from other cultures like uhhh… Fuckin um… A Raata archer! He’s hiding in the bushes on Caldari prime with his bow ready! Then - < Making slide transition sound effect > - now he’s a sniper.”

“Now we’re getting the Caldari demographic!”

“Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Now! We can do that for a Jin Mei from the uh, warrior caste or whatever the hell they got and have em twirling one of those ■■■■■■■… Spears stick things or whatever the ■■■■ - Do the transition slide < Making slide transition sound effect > and now they’re uh… A heavy weapons operator… Sure?”

“Sure. Corporal, you getting all this?”

“Yes sir!”

“And then we get a tribal warrior from the Brutor tribe or… Whatever. He’s fighting on Pator - WeHit them with the slide transition - Now they’re a uh… < Finger snapping > ■■■■…Not sure.”

“… So we gotta find a catchall for the Matari population, using one tribe would be inefficient and frankly reaching that deep into their history might backfire horribly. Corporal, write down a possible version for the Marari demographic, be vague.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Alright, well for the Amarrians we can get a Paladin that-”

“Nope! Matox, you’re running dry here. We gotta use something more subtle. Can’t be selling people on joining the Federal marines to become the next holy warrior paladin of the Amarr faith. Corporal, also include a possible Amarr version, imply we need research for a more modern example to use.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Oh and also… We don’t even have to do just an ad. We can take this to posters real easy! Just have posters of each of the soldier transitions - Where one side is the ancient counterpart, and the other is the modern equivalent in the Marines.”

“Flexible! I like this! THEY’RE gonna like this.”

“And these are things we don’t have to isolate on individual demographics, we could play all these ads at once anywhere. Showcase that the marines are a diverse organization…. And this is assuming we make individual ads for each soldier transition we do and not just one big single commercial with all this in it.”

“Corporal, have the notes mention the two options for production. Highlighting the benefits of what Matox just mentioned.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Outstanding… Anything more, Sergeant Matox?”

“… No. No, not really… That’s all I got.”

“Know what? Fine. It’s all fine ■■■■ it. We got something, I’m sure they’re gonna like it. I’m going home. Dismissed.”