"When is Vepas' bakery opening up? When can I hit him up when I need to get some bread and cookies?"

“Hosting a fight between one of Vepas’ men and Lucash’s Harriers is not made out of an accident or coincidence. It’s precisely the first step forward in promoting the new service. The two have some long heated rivalry that stretched as far back as when I was but a small girl. A topic of debate regarding which of the two is better and who brings in the most money over the other… This bout is to symbolize that and get those that have debated the subject to take interest in the outcome of it. To be invested in the showcase and to pick one of the two to cheer and root for once the bell rings… And in order to do that, there should just be a little drama to create enough controversy to make people that much more invested.”

  • Suha Raibuya

“When is Vepas’ bakery opening up? When can I hit him up when I need to get some bread and cookies?”

September 2nd YC 123

6NJ8-V IV - The Rabbit’s Warren Fortizar, some unspecific studio for broadcast recording

“Hello~! I’m Suha Raibuya! And with me today are the two fighters who are gonna step into the ring together this September 30th to fight it out for cash, fame, and bragging rights~! To my left is Teron Guerran, ace scout and tackle pilot under the command of Vepas Minimala. Teron, how are you doing~?”

"… I’m feeling good. Not much to say. Thanks for having me. "

“Of course~! More than happy to have a Gurista of your caliber as a participant in this upcoming fight. However, I don’t intend to downplay our other fighter for this event by saying that~! To my right, his opponent - Representing Helmatt’s Harrier’s - Vellen Ultory! A fearsome new figure of leadership in the Harriers!”

“What’s good?”

“I welcome you both here and I’m very excited about how this bout is going to turn out~! Before then however, I’d like to ask you both some questions… Vellen, since I introduced you last - How about we start with you~? Tell me how you feel about your chances in this upcoming fight.”

“… I don’t fear my opponent. I see him as a challenge if anything, but nobody that I can’t beat. I’m confident I’ll win. Nothing further to say.”

“Bold and straightforward~! Now Teron~! Having heard your opponent’s confidence in his success. How do you now feel about your chances in the upcoming bout?”

“What? Am I supposed to think less about my chances because this guy says he’s confident? Here’s the thing, this humble demeanor he’s putting on is just a show. A front, to hide the fact that he doesn’t know what the ■■■■ he just signed himself into.”

“Or maybe I’m just not letting you see too much out of me.”

“Like fear? Doubt? Regret even? You make this mustique you’re feigning sound like it’s hiding some secret power within you. You confident you’re gonna win? Then claim that ■■■■ with some pride. Damn Right I’m gonna be boisterous, because I am actually confident in my chances.”

“Boisterous indeed~! Now how about we provide viewers with a deeper insight on who you two are. Starting with you Teron, tell me about your career with the Guristas? You’re an ace scout and tackle pilot, no doubt you’re responsible for preventing a bunch of juicy targets from escaping~!”

“That, and I take a lot of credit for keeping people alive. Yeah, I fly a small ship - But people like me play a bigger role than people initially realize. I’m the one sticking my head though a gate first to see if there’s a Navy or Capsuleer camp set up and the guy that’s probing down wormhole entries to find another way around when that’s the case. My boys already know I blow my horn like this, point is they know they can’t say ■■■■ because they know deep down I’m the god damn reason their ships get on grid for the actual job in the first place. They get the glory of blowing ■■■■ up and grabbing the loot, but I have the pride in making sure they get there. I have the pride in ensuring whatever convoy we’re after so they can plunder it to begin with.”

“Do you never have any desire in flying bigger vessels and handing off scouting duties to someone else?”

“Nah, the bigger ships aren’t my thing. I don’t care how much stronger or thicker the shields are… I still feel vulnerable and an easy target when I’m flying anything bulkier than a frigate. Besides, this is what I’m beat at, this is how I support my team more efficiently, and in the end? That’s all that’s important. How can I contribute the most to ensure my people get the job done more efficiently. And if that’s me sticking my head in first through a gate camp? So be it, I’ll live - it’s fine.”

“I admire your fearless bravery~! No doubt one of our contestants is a daredevil~! But our other contestant isn’t someone to sleep on. Vellen Ultory! Of the Helmatt Harriers, an up and coming raid leader - So Teron would be the type to get people to a fight, you’re the type that does the actual fighting! Tell me, what’s it like being a raid leader for the Harriers?”

“… It can be stressful, you’re not doing the thinking for just yourself but for multiple people too. I gotta know at all times not only what I’m doing, but what everyone else is doing, where they’re at, what they’re shooting at and what they should be working towards in a fight. When you’re in charge of a raid, you got little time, unfavorable odds and zero room for error. The moment you crack when you’re in command, the moment you forfeited the entire success of the op and even the lives of those under you. Someone like me got to this position because I can prove I can keep it cool, and thus process a bad situation on the fly, formulate a solution for it and then execute it.”

“No doubt that kind of skill would come in handy in the fight! I think the two of you have careers that supply you both with your own unique mental advantages for this upcoming bout! From Teron’s fearless demeanor to Vellen’s more calm and calculating thought pattern. No telling what kind of factor this will play in the fight~! But while we’re talking about the careers you two have with the Guristas, how about we speak of the two famous figures you both have as figures of command? Vellan - What can you tell me about Lucash Helmatt?”

“… I’m not gonna speak on his character. As I don’t wanna accidentally misrepresent him. As a leader however, I firmly respect his decision making, his aptitude at planning a raid and more importantly - His skill. He’s a remarkable combat pilot that I’ve had the luxury of flying alongside once and his antics surely are something to inspiring to see and-”

“-and he’s also just Cartel trash running a cobbled up band of washouts from other trash-like pirate cliqs in this cluster.”

“What are you on about?”

“Hey man, just saying that you’re setting low-standards for yourself if you’re saying Lucash’s drunk flying is anything ‘inspirational’.”

“What would you call it?”


“He seems to walk away from raids far too often for it to just be chalked up to luck. Infact, I would think you would have a bit more respect for him purely based on his background as a scout pilot much like yourself when he served the Cartel’s Domination division.”

“I don’t have any respect for Angel rejects if I’m being real.”

“You do realize I’m also Ex-Angel, right?”

“That explains a lot, believe it or not.”

“Now, now, now~! Let’s not get carried away~! Teron, how about you spare some words for Vepas Minimala, what are your thoughts on him?”

“■■■■, he’s O.G. Practically been here since the inception of the Guristas and has his fuckin’ smarts engrained into the tactivs we employ to this day - I’m gonna go as far as to say that he’s the artist of the modern Guristas playbook - Straight up.”

“-I’d like to mention that the Harriers like to formulate their own tactics that do deviate from Main Guristas doctrine.”

“Yeah, and it’s all ■■■■.”

“How intellectually put, it’s ■■■■?”

“Yeah it just typical braindead gangbanger ■■■■■■■■ tactics that belong back in Angel Cartel, okay?”

“What the ■■■■ are you talking about? Our tactics work just as good - IF NOT BETTER - than the main doctrine of the wider Guristas military. Harriers have pulled in the most profits these last two quarters.”

“Oh my~! I can see tempers are starting to flare up… It appears you both have positive opinions of the leaders of your respective cells~. At the same time… Some negative opinions about each other’s leader. How about we get it all of our chest right here and now… Teron, what are your thoughts on Lucash Helmatt?”

“Why are my thoughts? Know what, I’ll be brutally honest and upfront unlike Vellan here is - Clinging on to some dumbshit self control like he’s trying to hide some cards from me - Lucash Helmatt is a ■■■■■■■ abortion. Legit just gangbanger trash that just washed in from the Cartel-”

“-W-Why do you keep using this term “Gangbanger” in the way you are?”

“That what he is, that’s all of what the Cartel is made up of - Just amateur gangbangers with ships tricked out with jovian tech they nicked out of some ruins. That chance technological find is what makes up for the lack of quality in people the Cartel recruits. Just high-tech gangbangers, that’s all they are.”

“If they’re gangbangers, then what does that make you?”

“Me? I’m a soldier.”

“Delusional thinking like that makes me surprised you didn’t just claim to be the President of the Federation.”

“Not a delusional thing about it. I actually serve for someone that values discipline, strategy and even logistical planning. The guy ontop of my part of the Guristas? He’s a goddamn soldier, someone that actually knows what the ■■■■ they’re doing. He’s not some fraud like Lucash and just for the record? Vepas can whoop Lucash’s ass in a one-on-one fight, easy.”

“Well Vepas and Lucash aren’t the ones having the fight here~! It falls to you both to represent their cells… Now then, Vellan? What are your thoughts on Vepas Minimala?”

“… Since my opponent was so forth coming and honest, I’ll grant him that same transparency. I think Vepas is a senile old ■■■■ that really needs to start talking with your people about opening up a bakery or some ■■■■, because he’s way past his prime and gonna need to be retired sooner or later before dementia takes over.”

“-Oh here we go. He’s ■■■■■■■ senile? Is that it?”

“You just got done calling Lucash a gangbanger.”

“Did I say something inaccurate?”

“Go ■■■■ yourself.”

“Whoa-Whoa! What happened to that poker face of yours? Did I strike a nerve.”

“It’s just that - admittedly - I’m losing patience for your ■■■■■■■■ and finding it harder to keep it up.”

“Oh, my ■■■■■■■■-?”

“-I’ve met some stupid ass people, but you’re on here, on camera no less - saying some of the ignorant ■■■■ possible.”

“You’re calling Vepas-Motherfucking-Minimala senile.”

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Yeah you said some factly dumb ■■■■. His age is irrelevant. His mind is as sharp as it was in his twenties.”

“How the ■■■■ would you know?”

“I can’t explain it, just gotta answer to him long enough to see he’s still the best tactician AND combat pilot the Guristas have.”

“He is way past his prime-”

“-it’s very telling to just how good Lucash is in comparison when he’s getting outdone by a man almost twice his age”

“Can you ride this man’s dick any harder than you are right now?”

“I ain’t riding any dick-”

“You’re dick riding incredibly hard right now-”

"-Very few people I respect in this world, dude. Vepas is one of them. You ain’t got a clue what this man has done for the Guristas and it is the most disrespect you could be slinging saying that gangbanger over there named Lucash is somehow even a ■■■■■■■ inch away from being as good and essential as he is-

“When is Vepas’ bakery opening up? When can I hit him up when I need to get some bread and cookies?”

“You see the kinda person you have me sitting across from Suha?”

“Don’t run to her for validation Teron, I thought you were more of a man than that.”

"You don’t know a ■■■■■■■ thing. "

“I know you’re some weaselly little ■■■■ purely based off this conversation-”

“-Round three ■■■■■.”


“Round ■■■■■■■ three ima lay your ass down, that’s my prediction.”

“Round ■■■■■■■ three?!-”

“-Hey man, I’m giving you more credit than you deserve by saying round three you’re down-”

“-You think you can take me out in three ■■■■■■■ rounds?-”

“I’m being generous saying that!-”

“-■■■■ you, I will send your ass to the next dimension if you think you can take me out in three rounds-”

“-Im being generous! Learn to take a ■■■■■■■ compliment-”

“-■■■■ you and your weaselly little words.”

“It’s rare for a Harrier to ever get a compliment, I get it.”

“You trying to go right now?”

“How about you sit the ■■■■ down?”

"Nah, you talking big, let’s go right now-.

“-Sit the ■■■■ down before you regret it-”

“-Right now. Let’s go.”

“Not even trying anymore to keep it cool, are you?”

“This is what you want, I’ll give it to you. Now stand up ■■■■■.”

“-This right here is true Harrier behavior. No discipline, no self control, complete ■■■■■■■ bangba-”

< Vellen spitting on Teron >

“-Oh you dead ■■■■■■■■■■■■!”

“-Oh now you standing up?!”

“Yeah I’m standing up now, what’s good? Gotta spit on me, is that it?”

“What are you gonna do about it?-”

“-Gonna ■■■■■■■ spit on me?! Is that it!?”

“-What are you gonna do ■■■■■, make a move or-.”

< Teron punching Vellen >

< Vellen immediately retaliating and the two getting locked into a brawl >

“Let’s go!”

"Ima gonna ■■■■ your ■■■■ up!’

< Stage equipment falling over as the brawl moves off screen >

“Security! Security!”

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