Minmatar/Caldari: Relations

Oh spirits below, you truly do embody the very peak of functional sociopathy, don’t you? It’s something of a guilty pleasure of mine to watch the flurry of masks as you swap them out, occasionally glimpsing what lies underneath. I don’t think I’m even capable of liking you, or regarding you with anything but distrust and a hand on a weapon but spirits blind me if I don’t take a downright unseemly amount of pleasure in watching you wield that mind of yours against the rest of us.

Remain… functional. If nothing else, it’s a damn sight more interesting than most others on these boards.

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A more functional sociopath would have a single mask that they stick to. Hardly peak.

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You only need to pretend it’s not a mask when you’re still vulnerable to those above you. Once you soar above them, you can… indulge. It’s those brief flashes of cheeky and brilliant honesty and self-insight that elevates it from merely functional to peak functional.

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Hmm. Perhaps. Although I would consider myself less a sociopath and more… helping to perform an old magician’s trick. After all, if the audience is too focused on the lovely assistant they are less likely to notice the magician’s sleight of hand.

However, I will admit that recently the only audience member I was focused on was Aria. She might think my behaviour malicious, but I do have a respect for her intelligence and perception, I could hardly afford her being too focused on the sleight of hand being performed on the people she might care for now around her.

I am Caldari after all, and as she herself has said here, for one like myself it is never personal – just the business of a professional providing a service.

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On the contrary, I believe that the only difference between a functional and a non-functional sociopath is determined by their usefulness to their social group, not the masks they wear.

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I am fully aware of my own irrelevance. I’m ok with it.

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Or the only mask is the attempts to spackel over wildly inconsistent, erratic behavior with the facade of a sly manipulator. Is she really showing different faces to different people in part of some grand scheme… or is she just saying whatever outrageous things she thinks will get a response, and then trying to cover it all up with ‘Oh, I totally know what I’m doing?’

Given her insistence in this moment she claims is letting the mask slip (but let’s face it, it’s just more posturing to get reactions) that we’re all just so achingly desperate to be ‘relevant’ (whatever she means by that), I tend to think it’s the latter.

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Always keep your eyes on the magician’s hands, but never just her hands.

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Also watch her butt. That’s a Tuulinen life-lesson.

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Are you saying watch Veik’s butt?

You might have to expand on this lesson over a drink or five, because this is a story I think the whole crew will need to hear.

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The simple answer is that Pieter is a lecherous young man I lost count of the times who would bump into me in the hallway, fall on top of me, and then ruin my blouse with a nose bleed.

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Were you running down that hallway with toast hanging in your mouth at the time?

Were you wearing some ridiculously short and fluttery skirt while at it?

Were you also late to wherever you were going too?

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I mean no disrespect to Pieter here, but I’m fairly certain that if he falls on you in a hallway some manner of aftercare is required

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She might be as cold as a winter on Home, but there’s nothing wrong with her butt - as far as I know.

I worked with Veik for years - it would be weird if I hadn’t checked her out.

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“B-b-baka now we’ll be late for the staff meeting!”

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Did you return her before incurring late fees?

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Oh, yes. The late fees for a Veikitamo are quite punitive.

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I know, it’s hard not appreciating the finest in State eugenics engineering.

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Oh, and those people who think the Megacorporations don’t use hard or soft power are likely forgetting history as this snippet would show:

These elites began to associate themselves with the Caldari megacorporations, who slowly grew in power and stature as a result. The influence of these megacorporations began to permeate the Caldari democracies, with many states simply becoming puppets of the corporate CEOs once the novelty of regime change had dwindled. The presence of lobbying within these democratic systems made it easier for the corporations to encroach their influence, to the point that they were able to do so even in Gallente states, though to a far more limited degree. [1]

Caldari corporations have been meddling in democracies since about the day they were formed centuries ago. When someone like Mentas Blaque talks about the traitors in the midst, and collusion with Caldari, he’s not chasing shadows and figments of imagination, he’s a student of history and knows what Caldari have done and will do.

The Caldari conception of war is that it is not binary, there is no peace, because you are always at war with everyone else and that warfare exists on a broad spectrum. The true goal is to achieve political goals with the minimal expenditure of effort and cost – and that requires a broad spectrum of strategies to achieve.

Sometimes it requires Lawfare, and the use of a constant barrage of litigation to press a claim. Maybe you want to go into an competitors territorial enclave, so you surround it with anti-access missile systems making direct intervention for them costly, while cutting all power and access routes in to it. Then you coerce them to negotiate on the grounds of “legitimate” claims.

Maybe you want to hit a foreign information data vault, so you send in your proxies to negotiate with some criminal cartel and get some low level guys the higher ups want to get rid off to hit something like a bank or commodities cache. Then you get a sniper to off a police officer nearby that you called in for a routine check on something innocuous. Given most response scenarios that will draw all nearby police into the area giving your assault team enough time to hit the vault and get out.

Or you just want leverage, so you dump a whole bunch of capital on things like infrastructure deals to build roads and hospitals. This creates strong incentives that such people won’t act against you.

There’s a reason why independent mercenary companies in the State are practically a revolving door for former official corporate security personnel. They’re useful proxies to deny in the games the corporations play with each other every single day. It’s such a part of daily life that most don’t even notice it all that much unless it gets into an actual official shooting match like between Lai Dai and SuVee back in the day.

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Oo, neat. We now have one complete cycle available for viewing.

  1. Make extremist claim, applied to all Caldari generally. This may cite to some bit of history or set of facts, but will proceed to extrapolate wildly from that point, claiming they demonstrate things they by no means do, taking cherry-picked data points to justify wild conclusions. A key to observing where the speaker is coming from in the most recent example is the suggestion that only the State’s most dedicated enemies (e.g., Mentas Blaque-- actually the speaker’s ideological opposite number in the Federation) understand the Caldari properly. The claim itself is maybe best understood as aspirational: not “this is how we are,” but, “this is who I am presenting myself as, and who I wish we all were.”

  2. Defend, if possible. Take opportunity to make nasty remarks about personal/political opponents, in keeping with presented persona.

  3. Retreat. The speaker claims, in effect, that she was just messing around, putting up a front, and trying to create a distraction, on which: success! So clever! Bwahahaha! (Possibly include some mild “I didn’t of course mean any of that awful stuff I said about you and actually I rather admire you etc.”)

  4. Repeat. Restart from (1) with a new point.

What I wonder here is, is Veik trying to influence public perception of the Caldari, and Caldari self-perception, without being stuck owning the Templis Dragonaur-sympathizing politics she’s presenting and promoting, or is she trying to repeat a troll and draw my (personal; it seems mine is desirable for some reason) attention back being as the “I was just playing and oh by the way your response was just what I wanted I’m such a mastermind” is a song I’ve heard before, and I wasn’t particularly engaged by jokes about her favorite genre tropes and eugentically-engineered butt?

In which case … Pieter, do you maybe want to field this one?

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