A Dream

Last night, I had a dream.

I was standing over a valley; it was barren and dry, rocks and sand. In the valley were people, thousands of them, some I could not make out their face. Some faces I could make out. Standing nearest to me was Mako, an old comrade who had died on Caldari Prime. Slowly, I realized they were all men and women that had died under my command.

All of their lives I had spent in pursuit of victory, on ground or in space. Some of them I had knowingly sent to their deaths. Others I could not save. All of them stretched out their hand towards me, as if bidding me to come down from my perch and join them in the valley.

Before I could move an explosion sounded from far away, and I saw a dam crumble. The reservoir wasn’t filled with water, but with blood. The blood flowed through the rubble and started to rush towards the men and women in a giant wave.

I tried to go down to save them. I had just gotten to Mako, my dear friend Mako, when the blood wave crashed over us. Her hand slipped from mine in the crash of the waves. I tried to swim towards her, but the blood, so much blood carried me away.

Through the blood I swam, seeing no one else floating in the red river, back to my perch where I stood before. Wanting to save them, I dived in, but a great wave came and pushed me back. Again, I tried, but again a wave came and pushed me back. For a whole day and night I tried to dive into the blood to save someone, but every time, I was pushed back.


My initial thought was that I should not read certain Scriptures before bed. My second though was wondering if we are infringing upon God’s realm. Immortality is His domain, after all.

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If you’re genuinely worried about trespassing in God’s realm, then you might as well dye all your hair the deepest black, paint your nails black too, slap on a few coats of black eyeshadow, and go and sign up with the Equilibrium.

I may not be an expert on this sort of situation, but I do have an academic understanding of the Amarrian religion and some experience interacting with those of your beliefs. If I understand correctly, after your initial death, your soul has already left your body to go to the afterlife and whatever remains is… just some animate copy of the original?

I mostly bring it up because if you have already lost your original life, I think the possible opinion with doctrine is that you are removed from your God as your soul has already left to join them. Would that indicate that this dream may, in fact, be simply a dream? If you’re one of the lucky ones who has not had the privilege of having your soul excised, the theological world is your oyster for interpretation, I would assume.

Not meaning to start a debate, of course. More just a simple Gallentean attempting to alleviate the potential anxiety such an experience may cause to the faithful of the Empire. I hear we do not need any more strife based on theological interpretation these days.

Can we infringe though? Isn’t it a bit arrogant believing we can?
Death always wins. We can try to cheat the death. We can believe we cheated it, but in the end we only cheat ourselves.

With cloned technologies we have memories of our ancestors. It can play tricks on our mind, it may give us perception that we are… “immortal”. It really feels so, it’s so easy to fall in this trap, just continue living lives of dead people, imagining we are their continuity.

Here in the State we are taught to see things as they are, without any subjective interpretations. And yet even our officials drive in the propaganda of “immortality”. So, what should you believe in? That 2+2=5 because you see that 5 and because others tell you 5, or that 2+2=4, because if you count you will get 4, and because nobody can prove that it is 5 and not 4? Your eyes see 5, your mind sees 4, so who is wrong? Eyes or mind? Feeling or logic?

For me, I give preference to the latter. Yes, it’s harder to feel things wrong and your perception probably won’t change if it will be wrong anyway. With the logic, I can make way more mistakes. But on the other hand, logical mistakes are way easier to find, way easier to point out and show me where I exactly was wrong.

That’s why I build my belief system on logic rather than feelings and I recommend you to do the same. That’s why I believe we die when our clone dies. People only tell me that I am wrong, but with my logical conclusions nobody could find any fault in them so far. Maybe I am mistaken, maybe. But since nobody has proven me wrong so far, I’ll keep to my conclusions.

The dream is a projection of subconsciousness, but even subconsciouseness stems from consciouseness, from your former feelings, experiences, emotions. Admit the mistakes you have made and ask spirits for forgiveness. And don’t blame yourself for what you couldn’t predict and for mistakes of others. If we fail a test in life, of course it will be just our own fault. But there are always those, who made the trap for us, who put obstacles. Don’t punish yourself for your faults - for the failure is the punishment itself. Keep fighting obstacles, not yourself. Your enemies are elsewhere, not inside you. There are ancient enemies of our nation - gallenteans. There are minmatars. There are gurista, nation, blooders, and whomever else coming with far from good intentions.

The enemies are the issue. They are your problem. Your failures are just secondary, they are consequences of their offenses. Always keep that in mind. And try to make as little mistakes as you can in the future - for it’s a sure way to make those who are truly guilty to pay for what they brouht to you.

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So…the void has Questioned you, in your waking moments, and now the ethereal.

Good. I worry greatly about those who go too long without asking these vital questions regarding our base selves. Those who cease questioning the darkness, who simply accept the environs we operate in, often find themselves acclimated as creatures of that darkness over time.

In all such matters, we look to our Faith. However, in this case, ecumenical scholarship is in it’s infancy. In most any conceivable aspect of normal life, one is hard-pressed to encounter some situation in which scripture does not provide some foresight. So many have come before, and we borrow that Wisdom, gleaned from experience, or divine revelation, in turn.

But for those who traverse the Wetgrave, the particulars of the realms upon which we have encroached are not mapped out before us; the greatest theologians of our time are scrambling to decipher the underlying axioms of a brutal reality unthinkable scant centuries ago, and to give that truth the proper context and clarity that we possess in other avenues of our lives.
There are no forefathers from whom to glean insight, no steeped tradition guided by light, no painstakingly meditated path.

We, the driven Faithful, compelled to take these unsafe and unfortold steps in service of that which we hold dear to us, have found ourselves on the bleeding edge of Truth.
For some, this would invite the very tendrils of fear and madness that erode the foundations of Faith.
The Base, the Carnal, the Unclean, would look upon such a state in bemusement and reproach.

We must pay such twisted souls no heed.

Whereas before, we could rely on the strict guidance of what came before, we are now the explorers of a new horizon. Our Faith is not a closely guarded road upon which we must tread with trepidation; that path lies behind, it’s lessons and strengths passed on to us. Our Faith is now a torch, of blinding radiance, to pierce the unfathomable void before us. All that has come before, the countless sacrifices, mistakes, and triumphs combined that make up What We Are, we must now wield upon a dark path full of questions and unenviable realities.

Fear is understandable. We tread where angels alone have long held solemn guardianship, but remember we do so in His Name, and for His Glory.
“And those who embrace his love
Shall be saved by his grace
For we are his shepherds in the darkness
His Angels of Mercy.”

I am glad you question. The answers will not be granted simply, no easy victories await on this road.

Know, however, that you do not walk it alone.

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