Recruitment is open! I made toast!
Recruitment is open! If you have small children (yours or just “in your possession,” we don’t judge!) sit them on your lap and teach them to watch your cap! Starting early with education and learning enrichment is so important to the developing young mind!
Recruitment is open! Lots of HOTT nonstop pvp sexytimes for you, to satisfy every … uh, taste you might have!
Recruitment is open! We’re here to help you on your EVE journey, because we love you.
Recruitment is open! Remember: if you’re feeling like you need to make a big dramatic cry for help, like getting bangs or trying a new diet, don’t despair! There is hope for you on your EVE journey! We can help you channel your anxiety in healthy, constructive ways through things like shooting reds right in their stupid face, with missiles! Feel yourself unburdened!
Recruitment is open! Don’t forget to exercise! Fresh air is an important part of today’s modern, health-conscious lifestyle!
Recruitment is open! I made hummus! It’s great on toast!
Recruitment is open! Don’t miss the weekly sing-along fleet! We present the favorites, while shooting reds right in their stupid face, with missiles! It’s elegant, big-city entertainment!
Recruitment is open! Representatives are standing by!
Recruitment is open! We live in a rough-and-tumble part of space, and it’s a great place to learn EVE! We have dog and cat pictures to help explain how everything works, because we believe in developing a learning plan to suit your individual needs!
Recruitment is open! Start your day off right with a healthy breakfast, and before you go to bed remember to do something soothing to help you unwind, like shooting reds right in their stupid face, with missiles! A healthy routine is the foundation of today’s modern lifestyle!
Recruitment is open! Drop by and see what all the cool kids are talking about!
Recruitment is open! don’t miss out on all the HOTT pvp sexytimes! You might worry that you’re not up for all that excitement, but we have a special vitamin supplement imported directly from Gallente space! Guaranteed to increase your, uh, effectiveness ten-fold!
Recruitment is open! So you just read about some celebrity break up and now you “can’t even” because “love is dead” or whatever? Don’t fret! We here at AKS will get you back on the right track and help you find your way in these difficult times. Because we love you.
Recruitment is open! Emergency dog/cat pictures are in reserve, ready at a moment’s notice to help you in these difficult times!
Recruitment is open, bright and early every day to help you on your EVE journey, because we love you.
Recruitment is open! Don’t forget to practice “wellness” and “mindfulness,” for example by flying spaceships and shooting reds right in their stupid face, with missiles! It’s called self-care!
Recruitment is open! If you spent your summer posting things on social media like, “why did I wake up in the botanical gardens’ flowerbed on some Gallente backwater station with a mouth full of dirt? #blessed” and would like to make better life choices, come talk to us! We’ll get you on the right track!
Recruitment is open! Are you having difficulty coping with your housepets judging you? Don’t worry! We’re here to help you find the self-confidence you need!
Recruitment is open! Don’t forget to ventilate your hangar space regularly for cleanliness and health!