Akadeimia Keipouron: We'll teach YOU HOTT Space-Knowledge Sexytimes!

Recruitment is open! If you’ve ever done a “walk of shame” at six in the morning, dragging all your stuff down to the bus stop wearing last night’s clothes and with mascara streaming down your face, don’t worry! We’ll be there to help you pick up and get sorted, and these latest fashion concepts we read about on social media might be just the thing to get you back on track!

Recruitment is open! Come join us, and then have a real serious think about your life choices!

Recruitment is open! If you want to come do HOTT nonstop pvp sexytimes, come join us and discover a whole universe of new and exciting/confusing experiences!

Recruitment is open! Don’t worry about “haters” on social media who say your breakfast-pastry choices are “problematic”! Stick with us and we’ll teach you all sorts of valuable coping mechanisms for these and other challenges in your life!

Recruitment is open! Don’t worry if none of this makes any sense! We’re here to help you sort things out in these confusing times!

Recruitment is open! I made pancakes!

Recruitment is open! Remember: “body horror” is just another kind of kink-shaming, and we’ll never do that! If you’re finding yourself curious about exploring your emotions regarding things you can do to your body (but everybody said you shouldn’t), we’re here to support you!

Recruitment is open! If you’re experiencing a personal crisis because “haters” wrote that your holiday decorations were “problematic” on social media, don’t despair! Our team of trained crisis-management specialists are here to help you navigate this difficult time!

Recruitment is open! I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that my press team has already issued a statement regarding any holovids you may have seen that purport to show “unsavory activities” involving a Matari “exotic dancer,” and made clear that I believed at the time that the activities depicted were legal, as we were in Minmatar space at the time.
My legal team will be taking strong action against any disreputable “news agencies” that seek to rumor-monger or spread salacious lies about this, or about any “financial improprieties” related to the recent dissolution of one of our corporate subsidiaries. Thanks to certain unnamed benefactors who have made generous donations through anonymous third parties, I shall be pursuing every legal remedy to clear my name and defend the reputation of our corporate family.

Recruitment is open! Sometimes, the best solution to your problems really is the simplest: shoot reds right in their stupid face, with missiles! It’s amazing, you should try it!

Recruitment is open! Remember: it is a fact, proven by SCIENCE, that those reds don’t have families who love them, so they are going to be spending this year’s Yoiul at home, alone and sad. Let’s brighten their holidays, by shooting them right in their stupid face, with missiles!

Recruitment is open! Sometimes, you need to stop and think about your life-choices, and if you’re feeling like you’ve done some things that you regret, don’t worry! Our specialists will help you find just the right fashion concept to help you put those feelings away and never have to worry about them!

Recruitment is open! Remember: new year, new you! We can help you with just the right fashion concept to help you turn things around this year!

Recruitment is open! If you didn’t wake up this morning in an unfamiliar room, wearing somebody else’s clothes, with the local constabulary pounding on the door and no recollection of the previous 48 hours, did you even New Year’s?

Recruitment is open! We regret our decisions!

Recruitment is open! If you’re looking for just the right fashion concept to help turn things around for you this year, come visit us! Our trained experts are standing by to help you sort out all the hottest new trends!

Recruitment is open! Don’t ask about that one hangar we have stacked full of confusing erotica, it’ll all make sense once you’ve been with us a while!

Recruitment is open! Don’t worry if some “unfortunate” holo-vids of youthful indiscretions have appeared on social media! We have years of experience in managing crises just like this one, and we’re here to help!

Recruitment is open! If you’re experiencing regrets about your fashion choices, or worried about “haters” on social media, or maybe just trying to find more positive ways of coping with the latest celebrity breakup scandal, don’t worry! Our team is hear to show you a better way to happiness and contentment, by shooting reds right in their stupid face, with missiles!

Recruitment is open! If you’re feeling confused and lost in New Eden, don’t worry! Our experts are here, ready to help you understand those new fashion concepts that just showed up on social media and are causing so much uncertainty in your life!