Announcement: God has Given the Achurans Over to Destruction

(Nauplius) #1

A revelation from God to Nauplius, Prophet of God, concerning the true origin of the Achuran people:

And it came to pass in the ninth year of the reign of Chief Achur that his tribe was beset by barbarians from the wintery norths. For it was that the tribe of Chief Achur had rebelled against the traditions of the Eight Tribes; they had ripped off their tattoos and did not dance around the fire, but instead the cry rose up that all the world was illusion - maya - and so the people set up monasteries where monks sought union with the Absolute and made divinations and enchantments.

And as the barbarians from the wintery norths laid siege throughout the lands, Chief Achur did beseech the Eight Tribes, “Are we not your Minmatar brothers?” And Chief Achur did give of the concubines of his slave farm in marriage to the chiefs of the Brutor, Sebiestor, and Vherokior, and those chiefs did dote upon the people of Chief Achur and sent their warriors against the barbarians from the wintry norths. But jealous were the new wives against the chiefs’ doting upon the people of Chief Achur, and they broke their vows of marriage and ran off. And so the chiefs of the Brutor, Sebiestor, and Vherokior drew away their warriors, and the barbarians from the wintry norths did carry off the people of Chief Achur into captivity, and they are called ACHURANS to this day.

– Second Chronicles of the Subhumans, Chapter 17

All that God has done to me in these latter months has been a preparation that I might willingly receive this glorious new revelation: that the ACHURANS ARE A LOST TRIBE OF MINMATAR. For God has cured me of my doting upon the Achuran people by sending me an Achuran wife, one who became jealous and broke her vows of marriage, all that I might light the fire of hatred against the Achuran people in my heart.

Hear now, O Empyreans, the words of Nauplius, Prophet of God:

Furthermore: let the name Serena Shi be stricken from the Book of the Dead; let her be declared filthy Minmatar subhuman; let her daughter be declared filthy Minmatar subhuman; let her marriage to Nauplius, Prophet of God, be as if it never were.

To these ends, the (censored) Fanfic Publishing House shall be repurposed as the CITADEL OF ACHURAN DESTRUCTION. Even now, my Slavers troll the slave markets of New Eden for Achurans, this newly revealed tribe of filthy Minmatar subhumans, to be brought to Mehatoor for an early preview of the Hell that awaits them in the life to come.

Even so, may the Blood Age come quickly. Amen. Amarr Victor.

Off-Topic Thread
Announcement: Shrine to a Caldari Hero Operational
Is Matar hollow ? Sensational claims made
To all Caldari sympathizers - a musing
(Serena Shi) #2


(Aradina Varren) #3

Have you tried couples counseling?

(Ria Nieyli) #4

I feel like I have a lecture I need to give.

(Lasairiona Raske) #5


(Coulter Phelps) #6

This is why we can’t have nice things.

(Quelza) #7

I read Nau’s announcements and I sometimes find myself thinking that the Equilibrium have some good ideas.

(Slayer Liberator) #8

Can you say what system this citadel is in? I want to know for… personal reasons.

Edit: ah nevermind I’m too used to null-sec system names.

(Teinyhr) #9


Post must be at least 5 characters.

(Lasairiona Raske) #10

Where all his citadels are located.

(Slayer Liberator) #11

How long do you think that it will last this time? I’d give it about 2 weeks.

(Lasairiona Raske) #12

No long. Then it’ll be o so wicked, o so vile. Rinse and repeat.

(Loai Qerl) #14


Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauplius. Have you ever ONCE considered stopping being a complete rot and petitioning the Kingdom for whatever it takes for someone like you to come back in? Aria would be so happy. You could probably even finish growing your hair out.

(Nauplius) #15

The Imperium is filled with filthy Achuran subhumans.

(Slayer Liberator) #16

While I detest the Imperium, they are not subhumans.

(Yuki 'Not-Flat' Hatsune) #17

This is quite rude.

(Samira Kernher) #18

I guess this confirms what drives you to all of this. You kill people who don’t want sleep with you. I wonder who the Minmatar girl that first spurned you was?

Funny. For a man who claims to so hate pleasure hubs, you only think with your *****.


(Deitra Vess) #19

Achurans are matari…?



(Tannia Ambrye) #20

Why can’t you write good stories? I am disappoint.

(Aldrith Shutaq) #21

Well, it is often suggested that serial murderers have morbid carnal desires at the root of their cruelty.

He’s no better than a Gallente axe killer.