Announcement: New Red Temple Over Asezai V Operational

My wife has left me, but she cannot escape me.

Now operational in the lowest possible orbit over the estate of Lady Melisande Galena on Asezai V is the Latest Temple to the Red God. There, my jealous, vow-breaking wife shall ever look to the skies and be reminded of her unfaithfulness. In a few years, when our daughter is old enough, she too will look to the skies, point to the giant Temple overhead and ask, “Mommy, what is that?” And Serena shall only answer, “It was put there by your father, whom I abandoned, because I was a selfish, faithless wife.”

Let it be known unto Serena and Lady Galena, that the cries of agony they hear issuing from the heavens will not be of the Brutor or the Sebiestor or the Vherokior, but of the Achurans, that Lost Tribe of Minmatar to whom Serena has returned, having abandoned the True Faith. The Altar of God in this great Temple is reserved for one bloodline only: Serena’s bloodline, the Achurans, whom I shall seek out from all the cluster and bring here to glorify God in their destruction. O how wicked are the Achurans; O how vile are the Achurans.

Tours available upon request. Even so, may the Blood Age come quickly. Amen. Amarr Victor.


I do make my best attempts to avoid interfering in the relationships of others; to reserve my comments.

But, perhaps some introspection is in order, Sir Nauplius…? Rather than considering these vengeful thoughts, perhaps view this action from an outside perspective…? If your first response when your wife leaves you is to erect a monument with which to chastise her, perhaps that may offer some clue as to why she left you in the first place…

… to involve your daughter in this vengeance fantasy is particularly cruel.


A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.

The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.

Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.

The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.

Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

Oh Napkins, so much energy invested in this. Why are you still carrying her?


There’s plenty of other Achurans in the cluster, you know…

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Oh, Naup…


Scene: Main Headquarters of the Church of Naupluism

Nauplius: Gentlemen. I bring you… More Temples!

Blood Raider Scientist: Gee, I don’t know man. Gee… I mean, after last time…


Blood Raider Scientist: Well alright. Because I need more blood from sacrifices again.

Temple is exploded to the ground by capsuleers.

Nauplius: It’s not different at all! Is it Bob?! MHAHAHAHAHA!

Every single time. Poor Bob…


Well, it is kinda different every time. Seems like it’s a way for him to deal with emotions, a way that involves the display of massive phallic buildings in an attempt to project the power he doesn’ t have to manage all the pain he feels inside.

He is hurt, so hurting others is the way he found to communicate this.

A cruel ostentatious cry for help and attention that he appear to long so badly for.


If you think an Astrahus is phallic I pity your boyfriend.




Oh, we don’t stay there anymore. I don’t know who’s looking at your Temple…


:stuck_out_tongue: That’s the sound you will be making. :stuck_out_tongue:

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I, er, um, what? The things the joke presupposes are the joke.


Freedom is a concept that only makes sense for those who know what captivity means. If one reduces their sexual interaction, even a heterosexual one, to penis-vagina interaction, tongues, fingers, toys, BDSM, contemplation, erotic hypnosis and many other paths to delightful orgasm(s) may appear as alien concepts.

Hence, the “normativity”.

Thrust, thrust, thrust, ohhhh, sleep is boring. Making a joke with this only makes sense for those who think this is a joke, and to find that funny the aforementioned probably are not in the symbolic reach of the joker.

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Good odds on, “someone unhappy to see it.”


I’m very glad that this is the most interesting topic in this thread.

I’m not sure I agree with your premise to be honest. Dick jokes are funny to everyone, even people who don’t have one. I don’t think you need to have explicitly been involved in a scenario to find a joke about it funny. I’ve never actually seen an Amarrian, a Blood Raider, and a Gurista walk into a bar for example.

The suggestion of humour is often more important than the actual specifics of it. In this case, my joke was about the physical design of an astrahus (pointy on the top and bottom and wide and flat in the middle) in relation to the description, “phallic”.

As to your “offer”, well, lets just say that particular world has already been mapped.




Why are you talking to me? You do realize much of this is your fault, right?


Ms. Tsukiyo’s foul, disgusting language in this thread is yet more evidence of the depravity of the Achuran people, and why they must glorify God in their destruction.

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There’s maybe a little difference between a fault and a consequence, Ms. Shi. There’s a lot of this that flows from something, or some things, I did.

Did I do wrong? … I don’t think it’s so clear. Fun puzzles about stuff like agency and active versus passive harms aside, we don’t really have the power to peer into other universes and see what might have been. There are people alive now who wouldn’t have been, but then, it’s hard to say which path would really have led to less harm.

I tried to help someone. I succeeded in helping several someones, but not in stopping the pattern. My efforts fell short in that way.

Even if I’m some way condemned for that, though, I don’t have a lot of regrets.

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Show me where it hurts Napkins, i’ll kiss it better. :kissing_heart::kissing_heart:

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