Best/Funniest moment in EVE

Oï !
If I remember well, when I was searching for some ancient topics in the ancient forums, I’ve found one that was pretty interesting : your best EVE Online moments, or funniest.
Yeah, I know, it’s not the best idea of topics around (you could strap a bio icon on it for recycling), but eh, between the “CCPls buff mah ■■■■ and nerf the others” and “quitting” topics, this one could make you smile a bit (or expel air from your nose, depends) ^^

So, I’m opening the party !
Recently, I managed to stumble on an unanchored Raitaru sitting ducks in a C4 wormhole, with some containers floating around (all containing Amarr shuttles, with the exception of one with an Astero and a Wreathe). Managed to take it back to known space, and boom ! +500mil ISK for bibi !

Alright, let’s hope we’ll learn more from our happy past in that bunch of pixels we call EVE :slight_smile:

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I’d been running low-level combat anomalies in my destroyer in Caldari hi-sec space. Was getting frustrated with the number of competitors bringing more firepower and scooping sites and spawns from under me. Then I saw the guy in the Scorpion Navy Issue sitting on a Guristas Refuge and smartbombing the rats as they spawn.

I casually drifted into range of his smartbombs. The rest…well, you know how CONCORD do.

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Best moment was THE ANY SHIP ANY SKIN BUG where you could use any skin for free on any ship.

Then ccp took it away and made up a bunch of lies so they could hotdogs us and milk us in there dying game

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A long time when i was in a wardeccing corp, our ceo would sometimes send nonsense ransome demands, like one million exotic dancers or the corpse of chribba. One target were told to contract 150ibis’ and 150 velators to drop the dec.

We ran locators and started camping outside their station, the usual long waits on the undock just kicking the sh*t on comms and hangin out. An hour or so in to the dec a couple of wartargets undocked in their pods, but then docked again as soon as they saw us. Then tried a second time to undock, but docked back up as we spammed the lock buttons. And then again. And again. Repeating the process many times over.

It took us a while to realise, but they were undocking and docking in their pods to get noob ships for the ransome. (this was before they could be traded on the market).

Definitely one of my best moments.

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Fleetmate: I got tackle!
Me: Your scamming the gate…

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after about a year and a half in eve with and industry corp I wanted a change, so a few of us blood hungry guys started a corp (bluing our friends as we did leave on friendly terms) and joined the Privateers in high sec gate camping to get some PVP training.

I log on right after down time and was on the Nirja gate by myself in a thorax. this War Target had decided to bring a freighter and was heading to Jita… No way, I’m the only one near… I ask for assistance to get it (I didn’t know if I could kill it before his friends show up.)

He jumps I jump, I tackle him and start killing him… Thinking bait bait bait. (remember coming from a industry corp) finally I kill him and he drops billions in loot.

I scoop what i can then he contacts me “I just lost everything in eve, that was all our corp assists…” how am I supposed to get to jita?

I reply. “well you are wardeced, you didn’t have anyone come help you with me who has more industry skills than pvp, and flew a big ship after seeing i was in local… next time put your clone in jita and I’ll get you there faster!”

biggest solo kill I ever had, and i had been screaming for help on comms cause i was a rookie and didn’t know i could take it by myself.

meh not a good story teller, but The whole thing at the time was funny to me.

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Nice story ^^

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oh man you really must be frustrated …

Right,
I am completely new at EVE, so it was really thrilling for me when I went to Amamake the first time to peek at some pvp.

Anyways, there was this guy sitting in a reaper, next to a station, and he didn’t move, sooo. I targeted him and tried to fire. Bleep Bleep, nothing. Ah, gotta set this green thingy to red, tried again. Maliciously pushing F1 again. This time it works, which makes me get whacked of space instantly by sentry guns. Im like hmm, Didn’t know that.

OK, I thought, I gotta remember not to be close to sentry guns and set this thingy to red before i attack someone.
Right.

Soo, some days later, I enter Amamake again, trying to find someone more noob than myself to kill. (which is hard)
Suddenly another trasher right next to the gate. Me, burners on, targeting, orbit, F1, Alt-F2 Alt-F3.
System does bleep bleep, nothing.
Because i forgot that green thingy again.

Anyways, the other guy also throws away his brain, because here I come, rushing at him, having him targeted.
He seems to overreact a bit, activates his weapons, and -gets whacked out of space instantly by sentry guns - :roll_eyes:

I thought. “Oh right, forgot the guns again” :thinking:

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But did the gate get away?

–Curious Gadget

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So this was my earliest PvP experience in EVE - when I first played it pre-2010.

Back then I had been playing the game for almost a week and putting around in a Tristan going from one belt to the next collecting small rewards from rats in hi-sec space. That’s about all I did that early in the game because I had learned absolute zero about better PvE gameplay back then. I was more distracted by the pretty stars and immense scale of the universe to recognize the time I was wasting hunting down and blasting belt rats.

However, one thing I did understand that early on was the relative safety mechanics of security status’ for the systems I’ve been in - and also how the rewards for each belt rat scaled with the lower a system’s security rating was. Ergo - with my understanding that lower security systems put my ship at risk - I ventured headlong into low- security space hunting “bigger”, “better” belt rats.

I had no idea how to read local, much less d-scan - all I knew about anyone else in system or me being visible to the world was whenever I’d spotted someone on grid… that wasn’t a belt rat.

My joy had been lasting for all of about 20 minutes until it was revealed to me that I wasn’t able to leave the belt my little frigate was hunting in - and a Thorax pilot was in the belt and had invited me to a private convo.

I knew then the risk I had taken was as real as I believed. The pilot - bless them - did not immediately teach me my lesson by blasting my ill-fit shield boosting and armor repping, civilian mod ship into oblivion. Instead, by convo, they inquired how long I had been in EVE, if I knew how stupid I was being out here (for all I know they could’ve been watching me for a while), and what I thought they should do in this moment.

I begged mercy on me and my hull - it was all I had as I had been blasting belt rats and earning dirt in return - and I had no idea what to expect but they offered me a challenge for my safe release. Beat their one drone in combat, and I was free.

Needless to say, I was determined to give the fight of my newbie life - I fired up both my shield booster and armor repper, flew out my own drones in response and gave that one single drone all of my hell… for about 30 seconds and then I had my first sight of what a pod looked like. And not long after that I had a lesson in the fastest way to end up at my home station, thanks to my new teacher in the danger of low-sec space.

The pilot also sent me 1 million ISK and an EVE-mail thanking me for the perverse entertainment they had upon my stupidity. They did ask that I go to the forums and recount this story to boost their fame - but as a stupid pilot I had no clue how to do that even.

So here’s to you, whoever you were back then - thanks for giving me a most memorable time in early EVE.

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A game by sadists for sadists. That it is.
When I think all these kindergarden games out there, it’s refreshing to have that game.
Even though I die a LOT because I have no clue of what I’m doing.

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One of my favorite times was in mercenary corp sitting in nado on jita undock pressing F1 to warm welcome expensive pods (and the occasional t3)

This is one of my most memorable EVE moments.

It was 2010, and I’d been playing EVE for less than an hour total. I was working my way through the tutorial missions when I got a mission to hand-in 1 Zydrine to a mission agent. This Zydrine wasn’t given to you, you had to go out there and get it yourself, and the mission had a time limit to boot. I had no idea where to get Zydrine from, but it sounded… mineral-y, so I began looking for different asteroids to mine in my Bantam to hopefully find some, but I was only finding ores.

Frustrated, I asked in local where to find Zydrine, and someone told me to buy some from the market. I brought-up the market window for the first time, typed in Zydrine, and there it was, lots of it. I saw all these sell orders for thousands of Zydrine at a time, but I only needed one, I couldn’t afford 4,000 of them! So I scrolled down the list until I found 1 Zydrine for sale, cheap enough for me to afford, and bought it.

After some panicking that it didn’t magically appear in my cargohold, I set course for my Zydrine. The course took me to lowsec, a system not too far from the starter systems. There was some warning pop-up when I attempted to jump through the gate, but the time limit for the mission was almost up, and I had no time for such warnings. As soon as I enter system, there’s a player sat waiting for me on the gate, all red and menacing and stuff, I somehow managed to enter warp to the station that contained my precious Zydrine and docked-up, but the person who was on the gate followed me there, I saw them land just before the station interior loaded.

I now had my Zydrine, and put it in my ship’s cargohold, the time limit for the mission was coming up, but there was this scary person waiting for me outside. I waited for a few minutes before deciding to chance it, I was fast enough to get away from him at the gate, so surely I would be fast enough to escape him from the station? Nope. I had barely loaded space when my ship got exploded almost instantly, followed shortly by my pod.

I didn’t realise this until sometime later, but it turned out that this player would regularly bait newbies into his lowsec system by offering 1 Zydrine on the market close to the starter systems, and then blow them up for easy kills. There was no convo, no recompense, and no friendly advice, just cold, hard experience, and honestly I’m thankful for it. The next time I lost a ship, I managed to get my pod out, because I’d searched for info about it due to this early learning experience I’d had.

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Watching Evelog livestream on Twitch last night was a good laugh. He was lowsec roaming looking to fight anything. Not much happening for a while so he lights a cigarette during the stream. He takes a puff and then ■■■■. Finds himself in a 5-way brawl on a gate. Entertaining fight for a few minutes but he gets killed and podded. Back in station, he looks down and says, “And ashtray smoked my cigarette.”

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Mos Def when i Have tried to find London in Breslau

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So, I’m salvaging a level 4 mission in a .5 system back in 2012, and I see a Punisher come into grid and start stealing salvage, I don’t mean the safe kind, he’s taking stuff from the cans. I have a PVP Rifter 1 system away, so I get it and come back. He’s still there, alone, happily grabbing stuff, so I start the 1v1 fight. It was very easy and on the kill mail I saw his high slots were all Salvager I mods. I guess he thought he could salvage me to death.

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I guess this is pretty usual for pvpers but…

We were small gang roaming in null and low and met guy in well tanked battlecruiser. It happened in low-sec so gate guns was a concern for us but somehow party started.

After couple minutes when we were trying to break his tank and spamming d-scan (because obvious bait) and he was doing something he finally jumped the gate.
“JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!”, “tackle!”, “???”

… next system was high-sec.

I might be wrong but i was the only pilot who didn’t lose his ship because i was slow to attack :joy:

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