"Certified" News Station Loses its Certificate!

SAKHTI, DOMAIN- Chaos erupted recently at the Amarr Certified News studio in the lower Domain star system, as the honorary certificate presented to each ACN studio which some believe keep the news station at a high standard has recently gone missing. It is unknown as to how exactly the certificate became misplaced in the first place, but the revelation that it had gone proved just how much the paper means to the company.

Eager viewers tuned in to the live news feed just three days ago, as Amarrian news anchor and agent Marveziad Fohtar began reporting the various happenings in the area in his usual calm, collected demeanor. When it got time to report on the recent Triglavian invasion centered on Jarzalad, however, viewers were instead treated to Mr. Fohtar standing up from his desk and walking towards the production team, a look of shock on his face. Then, with the feed uncut, Mr. Fohtar’s voice could clearly be heard:

“Lost?” his baritone voice clearly shouted. “What do you mean ‘it’s lost’? Someone has stolen it. By God, someone has stolen it. Do you understand what this means? Our reputation is now ruined, because someone chose not to guard our certificate! If you do not find out who has done this, then I swear, I will personally tender all of your resignations!”

The feed was then cut, as viewers were instead treated to the news feed from the company’s studio in Artoun. Until the situation is resolved, ACN has confirmed that all news feeds in Domain will broadcast from the more northern Domain system. While most of the region’s residents seem to not mind, there were others who objected to the sudden change.

Gutter Press visited many systems that the Sakhti feed usually serves to gauge how the disruption is impacting them.

“I think that the whole situation is ridiculous,” stated Andabiar II resident and craftswoman Zafaya Rashagh. “Who deemed that this certificate is important? Did Empress Catiz bless this paper? Did the Court Chamberlain bless it? Did God? I seriously find it hard to believe. There are Triglavians right now, very close to my home planet! Are we not important enough to be reported on?”

Some, such as Ishukone Corporation employee Wirapas Kopaalen, even thought that the station had it coming.

“Look, you can take it from me, because I’m not a big fan of the Gallente. The Scope would probably do a better job at reporting the happenings here than that station,“ the Mista-based researcher told Gutter Press. “That anchor they’ve got, he always sounds tired, fatigued, like he doesn’t want to be there. At least the Scope can fake that.”

Gutter Press has learned yesterday that since the chaos and confusion, the certificate for the Sakhti system has indeed been found. Due to the ACN’s policy of renewing their certificates every five years, this particular station had sent it to the Throne Worlds to do just that. Due to an error in logistics, however, their renewed certificate was instead sent to the news corporation’s Aridia affiliates. Imperial Shipment has confirmed that they will be sending it back to where it belongs, and Mr. Fohtar, at least, will not suffer any consequences for this mistake.

Gutter Press. the #1 source for news that matters, now being carried, without fault, by select Gallentean corporations in the Devoid, Doman and Tash-Murkon regions. Pick up a copy today!


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