Gutter Press received a horrifying report from a Minmatar capsuleer about a terrible cloning mistake they encountered while installing a jump clone in the Gallente system of Brapelille.
The capsuleer, who has asked to remain anonymous, recently installed a jump clone in the Federal Administration station around Brapelille IV-2, so that they could easily visit relatives working in the Freedom Extension station around Brapelille XI-1. However, things did not go as planned.
“I paid to install a jump clone as usual some months ago, and didn’t think anything more about it. Then I got a message from my relatives about a clan wedding, so I jumped over. But when I awoke, I found that my voluval and my leg tats, and half my face tattoos were all missing !”, said the capsuleer.
This horrific discovery meant that the capsuleer had to wear a long skirt and face veil during the wedding, and spoiled an otherwise joyous occasion.
“I felt overdressed and ridiculous, practically an outcast at a big clan function. I couldn’t take part in half the activities, I was so ashamed.”, said the pilot, who filed a lawsuit against the Federal Administration cloning facility, demanding a refund of their cloning fees.
A spokesperson from the cloning facility admitted that “errors” had occurred, due to a faulty batch of tattoo replication chemicals, but denied charges of “gross cultural insensitivity”.
Due to differences in biology and biochemistry of clones and baseline humans, tattoo replication for clones uses slightly different processes.
Gutter Press asked several people for their opinions:
“That is the stuff of nightmares, waking up without half your tats”, said one Sebiestor exotic dancer.
“Wait, her voluval mark disappeared ? Does that mean she could try and get a new one ? What if it was different ?”, asked another Sebiestor exotic dancer.
“I didn’t know eggers didn’t have normal tattoos. Weird”, said a Sebiestor starship mechanic.
“When I lost my arm in the Republic Fleet, they gave me a prosthetic one, said I could paint my tats on it. Guess getting a new body is just like that”, said a retired Sebiestor Republic Fleet sailor.
“Gallente insensitivity is nothing new. If I was younger I’d get my whacking stick and teach them a thing or two !”, said a retired Sebiestor motorcycle hooligan.
“Don’t be daft granddad, they said it was an accident”, said a young Sebiestor motorcycle designer.
“Some Gallente chicks have no tattoos at all, sometimes I feel disgusted with myself looking at them”, said a Sebiestor patron of an exotic dance establishment. “Only sometimes, mind. I’m not racist.”
The capsuleer has since replaced their jump clones with ones with their full complement of tattoos.
Gutter Press. News.