Greetings readers. A number1 of people have written to me to ask “Doctor V, I want to make an attempt at being the worst poster of the month, what advice can you give me ?”
Well. First of all you should consider how to include the following four elements:
A: A faulty premise. This is the foundation of your post, so getting it right, ie wrong, is important in creating a truly awful post. It should be subtle enough that people have to read it multiple times to spot the flaw.
2: Metaphors that make no sense or have relevance to the apparent point of your post.
iii: Excessive punctuation. This is the kind of thing, that annoys, a lot of, people. Commas are pretty good for this, but you can also work in some gratuitous apostrophe’s and: things like colons and semi; colons. These are particularly effective at annoying Minmatar people as they will assume you are mocking their language if you put in lots of comma’s and apostrophes.
With these 4 elements in place, you can then begin to think about pedant traps. The object of pedant traps is to cause the pedant to expend energy in showing you why you’re wrong. But you already knew that, so just reply to them with a “no u”. This maintains your energy while sapping theirs, a bit like a Nosferatu energy vampire module.
You can also insert gigantic images, typically about four or five times the average display width.
You can also insert a poll2 for no good reason.
Finally you should always remember to sign your post. The redundancy involved in doing this will annoy people. The forum already shows who posted, so signing your posts is gratuitously awful.
With these elements of advice, you too can aspire to be an awful poster.
1. Zero is a number
2. Comedy options are important