Eve Online reminds me of a kitchen nightmare episode

If you’ve never watched a kitchen nightmare episode (UK version is better), there’s always terrible food and an owner in denial. The restaurant is empty most of the time and sometimes a few loyal customers ready to eat filth will support the place.

At some point Gordon Ramsay will confront the soon to be bankrupted owner about his terrible overpriced menu and the owner might say : “If I change my menu, I’ll lose my customers”.

Gordon looks back at the near empty place and says : “You’d rather keep your customers instead of bringing new younger ones and filling up the place ?”

Here are the changes I suggest to save this game :

  1. No more PLEX, if you want to play for free, there’s alpha, if you want to play as Omega, there’s a 39.99$USD mandatory fee for 365 days. Why 39.99$ ? because that’s the price of an expansion in some good games. Let’s face it, Eve’s expansions rarely bring exciting stuff and what’s already in there hasn’t change for over 10 years.
    Objective : No more grind for PLEX and the unhealthy practices it brings will die with it…
    Secondary objective : Probably some layoffs at CCP; small studios have accomplished way more positive changes with less.
    Third objective : Multi-boxing will still exists but at least they’ll pay for it with real $$$.

  2. No more trading items paid with real life money. If you buy something with real life money, it’ll be account bound. An exception to that rule could be cosmetic stuff, I don’t see people grinding for months just for that, so that could be the only way to trade $ for ISK.
    Objective : Everything with real life money attached to it = big ISK and it always leads to some form of grind play style.

  3. No more implants, everyone will train skills at the same speed. The alternative for slots 6-10 will be abyssal mods for those who wants an edge.
    Objective : Remove incentive to stay safe.

  4. Bring more content for PVE/PVP solo or coop game play. Missions are still the same since I started playing in 2009, that baffles the mind… Scripting missions in 3D emptiness is not that hard ! We’re not talking GTA with Roads, cars, traffic, pedestrians, etc… Make it engaging and bring random elements to it.
    Objective : Log in and get to the fun part quickly

Bonus change : End the CSM. I’ve know this game since 2009 and there’s nothing convincing me that we need it. The big topics back then were always about balancing null sec and guess what, it’s still the same topic today. Game developers are able to implemented positive changes without a CSM and many have won the challenge in the past. If CCP depends on the CSM to survive, it deserves to die.

Combined with other changes I’m sure those ideas would create a solid foundation. Think about it and spread the word if you like it.

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OP thinks he’s Gordon Ramsay, lmao.

Yikes and no thank you to all of your suggestions.

What stuff is bought with real money right now?

JuSt mAkE mOrE cOnTeNt

Good for CCP and EVE then, because CCP doesn’t depend on the CSM to survive. They’re used as a knowledge liaison for feedback between the playerbase and the developers.


This x a lot…

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Hmmmm… Since when has implants been an incentive to stay safe? On the one extreme, there are people willing to risk their blingy sets in battle all the time. On the other extreme, we can make blank jump clones…

Thank you for taking the time to convey your suggestions.

Your account appears to be a couple months old. Your ideas come across as the sort of ‘one-dimensional, low familiarity with the game, doesn’t address actual issues’ type of thinking that a player with a couple months of experience might have.

Please play for a year or two or ten, learn more about the actual game, and then try again.

Thank you.


Gordon ramsay has decades of experience in the industry and/or calls in experts.

He also invariably helps these restaurants by simplifying their menu inspired by ‘back to your roots’ thinking. And also chucks tons of money into a refirb and new hardware.

That’s before we get to the dramatisation.

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This is actually an insult to the kitchen nightmare and genre of bad kitchens and hotels per Gordon Ramsey.

You see in those shows there is actually improvement.

Without writing a novel on all the reasons why the EVE community at large would disagree with you, Kezrai said it best. I feel your lack of familiarity not just with the mechanics of the game, but also with the philosophy of the game and the core nature of how it is intentionally different form other games might be giving you some discomfort, which is understandable, but also not something that will change. This is what makes EVE the game we love so much and want it to be. (Not referring specifically to you, but) those who want a more sheltered experience are better of playing other MMOs.

I think your recommended changes can only be described as broad and extreme. I can’t recommend any of the changes, certainly not deleting plex. Or removing learning implants. Or anything else.

Eve needs precise changes that affect only the problem they are trying to solve. It’s not easy to find these changes; it seems like the target is always moving. You want to just nuke the site from orbit. That’s not what eve needs.


Ramsay is a loud pussy.

i dunno what people are thinking … well, probably they aren’t thinking … when they write that PLEX should be removed. These people don’t think things through at all, so why even bother reading the rest of it?


No, go away.

The fact that the OP thinks he’s EVE’s Gordon Ramsay is hilarious and quite mistaken.


I took a long break, but anyone remember the days of spamming isk sellers? Sometimes you could hardly read chat cause of their walls of text. It seems like a genius move at the time really, kill two birds with one stone. CCP became the isk seller thereby bringing in more revenue, and seemed to mostly rid the game of the spamming isk sellers at the same time.

Thanks for all your lovely responses, that was to be expected. Forumers are the best.

Why not just buy ISK from CCP ? 4.99$ will buy you 500 million ISK, account bound.

When you start to grind to play free Omega, then you’re killing the game and your interest in the game. If you think the carebear situation is bad now, wait until you see 500 plex hitting 10+ billions isk, then you’ll start to see a new level of grind and carebearing. I don’t think Eve will appeal to the masses with that model.

If you ever want to learn how to cook, don’t go to Gordon Ramsay. That’s the finale.

Your suggestions would accomplish the exact opposite of your stated thesis.

New customers want more dumbing down, not a rollback to an actual tough space game. I would be in favor of getting rid of PLEX, CCP ceasing its RMT program, and adding more legit content. AKA, returning the game to its roots.

Sadly that will never happen now that PA is in the driver’s seat. They are obviously planning to milk it for what they can before shutting it down. EVE is not the reason they are the new overlords. What they purchased was access, not IP. They don’t give a ■■■■ about EVE except as a short term cash injection from the live services.

This isn’t necessarily a bad idea, but there’s an unexpected consequence: by equating ISK with money, CCP (and ISK) would potentially become subject to banking laws in some countries.

In general, game companies’ lawyers won’t let them sell in-game currency for RL money.

BTW it’s not impossible: e.g. AFAIK in-game currency can still be bought for USD in Second Life.