Accepting that you need to learn is the first step to getting better so you’re already doing better than most people who just “follow some guide on youtube” showing what to do, but now how or why to do it, all while going “yeahyeah get on with it” and not learning much of anything to then fail and decide that hiding in a large alliance (being told what to do by an FC so they don’t have to think for themselves) is just easier. There’s a reason null alliances have so many members and it’s not because they want “amazing fleet battles”. This is shown in the current capsuleer day stuff, people yap a lot but when they need to learn something they haven’t done befor suddenly it’s scary, difficult, impossible and they have to wait for others to make a guide, probably filled with memes to soften the blow.
Actual capability in EVE is based on your knowledge and understanding of what you are about to do, understanding the game mechanics involved so knowing facts and details (something most people aren’t very good at), being able to come up with a plan that you can evaluate before you even execute it (to some degree anyway), then assess it afterwards to figure out why you failed and then adjust your knowledge. What ship to use really is one of the least important parts of this because if you’re just told what to do, but don’t know why you need it you’re… not really doing so well. the requirements for PVE and PVP are different in this regard.
PVE tends to be static and fixed/repeated so you need to know what setting you’ll be in, what npcs will be there, how much you need to tank, the damage types, dps, range and application for both them as you. To get better at this you need to learn how to actually fit ships (again something most people suck at regardless of what they say) and the best way to do so is to start using Pyfa (Pyfa - The Python Fitting Assistant) and stop using the ingame window, because it sucks. This allows you to figure out a known fit you got from somewhere, understand what it does in numbers for dps, application, tanking specific damage types etc etc.
Lets say that you fight a specific npc with fixed damaged types and application, and you found a fit that’s proven to work you can import it into Pyfa to see what it does at max skills (which you won’t have probably but that’s how it will be used by others unless specifically meant for newer players), set it to show how much it tanks vs the damage types, check its speed and sig radius and from that extract how much the npc actually hurt and how. You can then see what that ship and fit would do you YOUR skills and figure out if you can do it or not, or get a different ship that you can fly well and see if you can come up with a fit that will reach those requirements.
Import all fits you find, see what makes them work, toy with them, change them, see how they compare to others. The more you play with this the better you become at it and the easier it will be for you to figure out a fit without even needing pyfa at all because you’ll just run through it in your mind, you will start to recognise good and bad fits pretty much instantly and if it’s something that’s different you can then check pyfa again to see what you can learn from that one, if only to go “lol no”.
To git gud is a long journey filled with asking questions, figuring out, learning new things, planning, practising and then assessing. Rinse repeat. “Just do it, yolo” doesn’t work, the ones who say it does aren’t really that good.
For PVP it’s entirely different because you need to understand the rock, paper, scissors concept of PVP where you learn to realise it’s not so much about your dps and tank numbers but more so about countering your opponent(s) and making sure they won’t counter you. Not only do you need to understand YOUR ship but also the the ships you expect to encounter and that requires understanding strategy & tactics more than anything else, it’s also why “what ship to use” is the least of your issues here: “what to use, rock, paper or scissors” and the answer is… “depends on what your opponent uses” but some people will go “use scissors” and then you learn when people give you that sort of fixed answers they’re mostly wrong and clueless.
This means that to “learn pvp” it doesn’t really matter what ship you fly so it might as well be cheap and basic because you’re going to lose anyway, which is fine as you’re trying to learn not so much to win, the winning will come later… perhaps. You’re not looking for wins, you’re looking for fights. What also doesn’t help is flying something overpowered because it’ll mask your short comings and you will learn less because of it, on top of that you get less solo fights in OP ships so all you’ll really learn is “blobs suck” (until you learn to deal with those).
As said earlier, most people suck at all of this so don’t feel bad you suck for now, you’re not any worse than the majority of players. The more you put in effort to learn, practise and improve the more you start to outdo others and then you’ll quickly come to the conclusion that most people do indeed suck and they’ve been feeding you nonsense for way too long. The fact that you try to do better and are on an upwards path is good, with every encounter you learn more.
Learn the game mechanics involved, make a plan, make sure the plan is cheap because you’re bound/expected to die, execute it and be ok with failure (this is a step most people can’t get past) because, really, you’re just exchanging a tiny bit of isk for experience which is invaluable. Assess its performance and (probably) learn from the failure, improve plan, try again. Rinse repeat.