I lucky, Marla too tight


(Zaboshka) #1

I really enjoy explorationing. You never know what you find. Last week I found a half full peanut butter jar in my probe launcher. I was happy, but Marla said it was half empty. Sometimes she’s like that.

Today I was explorer of hole worm j-space unknown. For long while I find nothing, getting tiredish. Marla getting bored as well. That’s not good sign. That’s bad sign.

Then I see a mammoth class furry tusky vessel on my scanner. Interesting. There are also combat probes around, possible someone trying to find the mammoth. Waste of probing, I say to myself, the furry tusk is surely at the citadel, they always there.

So I warp Marla to 100 km from citadel to check. What? Stop stop stop! Full brakes, and we land 3 km from the mammoth. Almost lost cloak of invisible undetection, but we’re safe.

I say, “Marla are you drunk again? I said warp to 100 km.”

She says, “That’s where I warped, and you’re the one who’s drunk.” I look at citadel, and she’s right. She’s always right.

Now I curious. What is mammoth class truck doing here, sitting still? Is this bait? I nudge the truck with Marla to see what happens. Nothing. Okay, let’s release our love childs of hobgoblin name.

Very soon, the mammoth is a wreck. Maybe not bait? Who was combat prober? Intrigue intensifies.

I check out the wreck, and bingo, 600 mil dropped! This is proof of my lucky. I try loot all, but I can’t. What’s happening?

“There’s no way I can fit that in,” Marla says. I look closer, and see a Roiteru class of engineering complexity.

“Ok, now we don’t come across 600 mil loot everyday,” I say. “There has to be a way.” I look deeper into the wreck, and see a lubricated cargohold tech 2 module. “Here, we can use this,” I say.

But Marla isn’t having any. Not even the tip of the Raetiro class of complexity. We quarrel a bit.

“We can haul it if you call yo mama,” Marla finally says. Good idea. I start dictating a telegram to mama, but Marla slaps me on the head. “It was joke,” she says. Ok.

Then I see an expanded probing launcher in the wreck. Suddenly, it all makes sense. There was noone else, and the mammoth was not the bait, it was the hunter! I was the victim of a well setup worm hole criminality.

I felt depressed, and it was getting late. I could not let the Reatura complexity go to waste in this dark corner of space, so I let the kids kaboom it all. For a moment there, the space was less dark.


(Pix Severus) #2

You did the right thing. If Marla cannot take it all, then no-one can take it all.


(Bambie) #3

Marla story = best story!


(Garresh) #4

Oh jesus christ he’s back. Is this going to be an ongoing thing? I’m not complaining, but hot damn I love a good shitpost.

Edit: I know this is old, but I stumbled across it recently. Not quite a necro but eh, still funny.


(CaseyLP) #5

“Not quite a necro”

TWO MONTHS LATER

:thinking:


(Garresh) #6

I goofed. I forgot how slowly these forums move since they’re a dumpster fire on mobile. Replying to a page 2 thread is basically a necro now. :confused:

I stand by my statement that this is an awesome thread though.


(Iwo Sh'ivah) #7

Is Marla be back or she dead?


(Lady Spank) #8

C&P really is slow moving lava these days but threads like this are fuego <3


(system) #9

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