You glossed over quite a lot of important stuff.
Aside from being new player friendly, what can your people generally be found doing day to day? Try not to say “everything” because a prospective new recruit wants to know what he is likely to be able to join in with on day 1, rather than “things members of the corp do alone”. Maybe mention if the group spends more time mining or missioning or if you are a trade / manufacture focused group.
You must remember that “we help newbies and give them skills and charge them taxes” corps are ten a penny. The good corps are the one’s who know what they want to do and are up front about it. They don’t profess to do everything even though many of their members enjoy multiple activities. Try to choose a focus short term and long term and be honest about what you plan to do to get there.
You mention a “unique system of paying corp members” but do not elaborate on what exactly this system is, so it comes off as potentially shady.
What is it you do now day to day?
What is it you want to do?
Is there a plan in place to achieve these goals?
How can a potential recruit expect to become specifically useful?
Do you provide any sort of SRP or Ore Buyback programs?
and the all important one :
What is the tax rate, what will it be used for and will the corp wallet history be public so members can see what’s being done with their money?
All of this information will assist in getting you hits and separate you from all the rest of the “we do everything and train newbeans” corps.
Good luck o/