Off-Topic Thread vol. 2

I must admit, all this talk of curses and the great power that they wield is making my own past self start to try to bubble up to the surface…

The rush of power and control from ganking a ship twice if not more your Catalyst’s size. The swell of righteousness in your chest as you bring down those that are non-compliant. The thought of James’ face as you are eviscerated by CONCORD - arms outstretched, his smile beckoning you home.

Power is addictive and far too easy to wield due to its addictive nature. You don’t need an ounce of good judgement or any understanding of empathy, morality or self-control. And what’s worse? It feels good

This isn’t me lapsing from the Signal Cartel credo - this is me explaining why its so hard to not go back to dark places when you know the power that lies there. Every ship I see that is left unattended or on autopilot, my first thought is ‘I could kill that’. I have to fight my baser instincts almost every day.

Please don’t say things that could tempt Ms Jenneth beyond the point of her own self-control. It seems the power she once wielded was magnitudes greater than anything I had contact with - I would not like to face into that myself.

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Nah. You’re just as lost, scared, and hungry for validation as the rest of us. And you get that from being a good dog, nothing wrong with that. I just remember you were the one who first threatened harm to those whom I love because of your animalistic loyalty principles, and I pity you. I don’t think you’re evil. I just find the sight of you sad.

You are not alone.

In the most literal sense, of course my loyalties are a little bit animal; a human being is, necessarily, an animal. We like to think of ourselves as rational beings, but mostly our reason serves what our hearts have already decided. And yet, maybe for that exact reason, to address someone as a “good dog,” “animalistic,” and “sad” can’t really help but be an insult.

Do you find it gives you the feel of a good scritch behind the ears when you look down on those who oppose you?

While I appreciate your warm and generous sentiment, Ms. Teinyhr, I prefer the company of people who don’t hold me in contempt.

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Oh? I thought you were cool with the name calling, what with the “false light”, “warmongering wretch”, and so on.

But yeah I feel pretty good looking down on people, thanks for asking.

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Have you tried those heeled shoes from that Gallente designer ? The ones with the bright red soles ?

They’re freaking awesome for looking down on people with.

‘Minmatar-led treaty’? Wow. That’s rich. There was literally only one Minmatar signatory on that treaty, and they didn’t even break even on gains and losses, aside from maybe the sentimental value of Starkman.

I’ll be in touch… again.

Elsebeth inspires people to their deaths, Teinyhr, and feels so good about it that she teaches others how to do the same. She represents the opposite of what I try to be. Reminding her of the destruction she leaves behind her, not only of her enemies, but of her allies, is the least I can do.

I call her by names she’s earned-- not looking down at her, but across. I call her these because others should know what she has done, the destructive role she plays in this world. And so should she.

If it hurts, good. If it gets your attention, good. If it feels like I’m besmirching her accomplishments and goals alike, good. We are enemies, and I by no means concede that my side is morally inferior to someone who makes it her life’s work to try and set the world on fire by helping her kin get themselves killed along with whoever’s standing next to them.

I use names, sure. I calculate them to wound-- to speak to truth, or at least an angle on it-- and if they work I take grim satisfaction in a blow struck. And Elsebeth definitely seems to know what I’m at: she, too, approaches public discussion as warfare-- and probably she’s better at it than me, but that doesn’t mean I won’t confront her.

If you feel that way about me, your attacks are weak. “Good dog?” “Animalistic?” “Sad?” or earlier, all your variations on “brainwashed Amarrian puppet?”

Pfft. Try harder. I’m not without weaknesses, points you could strike; you might even know about some of them. But I don’t see myself in that warped mirror you’re holding up-- no truth, just a botched caricature.

If you want to hurt me, try to understand me. If you want to just treat me with contempt, you should expect that I will stop listening to you at all.

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I’m pretty sure she knows. There’s nothing for you to ‘remind’ about.

Oh, but as long as she has a notion of herself as possibly a decent person there’s no possible way she’s at peace with them, Samira. Ask me how I know. A weak point that cannot be patched is not exploitable only once.

I remind her for the same reason I remind you: as a weapon, to cause stress and injury, to damage morale. And also because perhaps I feel those who do such harm in service to their causes should not be allowed to forget it.

Call it one nod I’ll give to the concept of justice: “Yes, I know what you have done and why. And even knowing why, I do not forgive you.”

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We don’t forget it. But pointing out things we already know is pointless. As if any of us who are doing this haven’t already made the moral cost/benefit analyses and decided that it is worth it.

Sure, we’ll never be really at peace with it. But neither should you be, in your role on the other side.

Your last paragraph is much more true than your first.

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In my experience, Kernher is correct, you do have a penchant for pointing out the obvious, Aria Jenneth.

Sure, Veik. Shoo.

Well you do.

For example, I never hide I am a violent killer, but you often pointed that out even though everyone knows.

Which, coming to Elsebeth, you do the same thing. I don’t think she’s shied away from the fact her actions will get people killed – but you still point that out. Is that even the locus of her effectiveness in PR? I don’t think so. It’s her authenticity to me. She will do what she does because she believes in what she does, even if that means loss of life.

So who are you trying to convince here, really? The woman is going to remain credible in spite of whatever aspersions you’re trying to cast upon that which she has never denied in the first place.

Will you go ■■■■ yourself already and stop pushing your version of me upon everyone you meet? I get it that you hate me, personally, not just what I work for, but your constant smear-campaigning and walls-of-text where you explain me - as if you know a thing about how I feel! - are getting bloody tiresome.

EDIT: and I know you are going to smile sweetly and say oh no not hate I just see clearly. See “go ■■■■ yourself”.

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So I do have your attention, False Light.

Good.

And no … I have trouble holding grudges, but you seem happy to keep stoking this one. It will give me joy to cause you misery, so I think at this point I really do hate you.

“Stop explaining me like you know a thing about how I feel.”
“You seem happy to…”

Go. ■■■■. Yourself.

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Hm. No.

That’s quite the accomplishment: saying you’re the one with a grudge against another person, and then trying to imply they’re the one holding it.

Oh, Veik.

Else and Samira, for all that I clash from them and even if I hold (and sometimes weaponize) some bitter feelings, are in some way people whose positions on stuff interests me. They’re worth talking to, worth understanding-- and not just so I can hurt them more efficiently, but because their feelings and ideas are weighty, meaningful. They’re tied into the scheme of the world in important ways. We’re enemies, but that’s not the end of anything.

You on the other hand? You seem to want to hurt me, but I’m not interested enough in your opinion to try to persuade you even that winter on Caldari Prime is cold. You’re a puzzle box, but not one I think would be worth solving; I’m not sure even if I could break past every last layer of illusion that I’d find anything but broken glass.

I’m not really talking to you, even now.