We live in a broken world, Khan Elkin. What is right or what is wrong are not always as clear in the moment of decision as we might want them to be.
Itās not often you hear continuing associations and ongoing membership in an organization described as āin the moment of decisionā.
The decision making was an ongoing process as regards continued association. As such there was passive condoning of activities and beliefs of others due to the decision to continue those associations on my part. That I actively turned a blind eye means I personally disagreed on a moral basis with the ideas and beliefs of those I associated with but continued to pursue what I saw as of a greater benefit at the time: modern capsuleer combat experience that would make me more useful to Kaalakiota and the State in future.
Hey, you do you, yāknow? Iām just sayinā that seems like an awful long moment.
The arrangements of PY-RE were beneficial for a long time. The company wasnāt half-bad, either.
However, while I accept the creation of a greater good might at times require lesser evils to be committed I still struggle with it. I donāt rest easy with all the things I have done for that which I believe in.
Thatās a style whose success theoretically depends some on accuracy; it shouldnāt be effective if itās inaccurate. Although come to think of it being besieged with a constant beat of inaccurate analysis could be pretty maddening. It is an attack method, though, Charles. Itās not supposed to be nice or considerate of the victim. Thereās no nice way to brutally cut someone up.
It seems like the real question, and problem, we have is the issue of turning this place into a battlefield and whether thatās what we want it to be.
My hands arenāt clean in this at all, at least not lately. I was meaning to cause pain, and if the question is what we want this place to be my reasons for weaponizing it are irrelevant.
Iām not sure how to approach this. There seems to be a kind of emerging consensus that things have gone too far even for most of the people whoāve been here a long time, but also itās natural for people to use a communications medium like this one for propaganda and psychological warfare. Thereās always been some of that. Probably there always will be.
Only, if this place is only a market for trading knives, maybe no one should come here.
Maybe the only solution is for those of us who can stand to share a space with our rivals and even enemies without lacing into them to resist the temptation where we can. Maybe this isnāt the only place that could benefit, even.
Again, my hands arenāt clean here; I too was using this place as a battlefield, experimenting with how much pain I could cause. Maybe I donāt get to say when it stops. But I know Iāve had enough, too.
I want to stop. So Iām stopping.
Common misunderstanding of wannabe spriritual advisors. āWords can never hurt meā and āit mustāve hit home cos he reactedā.
In fact, repeatedly stating utter ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā about them does piss off most people.
Try it if you donāt believe me.
Seconding.
I took a couple days off, and it says there were 140 unread posts in this thread.
And most of them were āuā āno uā style arguments.
3/10 Could do better.
No u.
4/10 See me after class.
I accepted long ago that the IGS, like most things to do with capsuleers, is less about topical discussion and more about personalities. What is said can become less important than who said it. I think this leads to a lot of frustration as people find discussions trending towards what they feel is misrepresentation, smears on their reputation, out of context framing of thoughts and opinions, and general pettiness in the pursuit of personal animus.
I think this creates an isolating effect for participants as they feel their perspectives are not understood or wanted, or that the expression of those perspectives will only be deliberately misconstrued by others so it becomes an act of futility to do so.
Of course, knowing this I still open up lines of attack when it suits me but thatās because Iām an insensitive jerk. It doesnāt mean everyone should be.
Believe me, I have seen and heard everything you have said.
I guess you know me best, then?
No. But I know you much better than you know me.
Iāve tried to change that, and Iām still trying to change it.
Itās only irony if I hang out with men who do the same things as I just described Arson as doing.
Thatās a heavy accusation. Care to provide proof of it?
Maybe use that special knowledge of yours about me and figure out if thatās what I actually meant.
Iām pretty sure youāre making a false equivalence to the āslaversā you think I āloveā.
And thereās Aria typing. Hoo boy.
I wasnāt.
Well ā¦ I kind of have, though, Else.
Iāve had attention of this kind that I donāt recognize as true at all for, literally, years, and yes, it hurt. It became less effective over time, though. Someone I confronted about it even claimed credit for hardening me up.
I guess I assumed becoming āhardenedā like that was just part of becoming a healthy adult again, so of course anyone my own age without my damage should have even better armor, right?
I guess not. And, I guess I wasnāt a good example of a āhealthy adultā in the first place, either.
Edit:
Come to think of it Iām not sure armoring up to that degree is even healthy.