"Our docking rights are so legit that the Amarrian Empress can swear an oath on them!"

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“Some have it in their heads that the Guristas are a primary source of corruption in the State. That once the Guristas are eradicated, corruption in their precious society will dwindle now that the Guristas no longer exist to manipulate and play with their fragile way of life… You wanna know where corruption comes from? From within, the Guristas do not magically make those in control desire material wealth or more power. Those are all motivations of an individual, their own desires that they’ve come to crave on their own… The Guristas do not create corruption, they merely sign the cheque when it inevitably emerges.”

  • Suha Raibuya

“Our docking rights are so legit that the Amarrian Empress can swear an oath on them!”


July 12th YC 122


Derririntel V - Moon 15 - Nugoeihuvi Corporation Publisher, Hanger bay A-78


Velrich! God dammit! Be more careful with that crate!"

“S-Sorry sir!”

“No don’t be sorry! Focus! If the product inside that crate is busted it won’t be just your head on the chopping block, but mine as well! Got it?”

“Yes sir!”

“I mean that quite literally for the record, your head WILL be chopped off if you ■■■■ this up.”

"Yes sir!’

“Good… Whoa! ■■■■ you running up to me like that Yoots?”

“Sir! We got customs officers on the approach, Internal Security.”

“The ■■■■? Why?”

“Dunno sir, they seem pretty relaxed and taking their time, don’t seem like they’re gonna bust us. How legit are our docking rights?”

“Our docking rights are so legit that the Amarrian Empress can swear an oath on them!”

“We shouldn’t be getting the attention of customs then. What do you want me to do, sir?”

“Help Velrich unload the product, have your safeties off on your sidearm in case there’s trouble. I’ll handle this.”

“Yes sir.”

“■■■■■■■ fedoshit cops… Officers! How can I help you two?”

“Seems to me we got a Sierra-Two-Five here, unauthorized vessel in docking space. This your ship?”

“Yes it is! And I do believe there must be some mistake! We have proper auth-”

“Son, my department has been credited as the most efficient unit in this entire constellation for the last seven quarters. You seriously gonna come in here and tell me we’re making mistakes?”

“I meant no offense, Officer…?”

“Brigs, Captain Brigs to you.”

“Captain Brigs - I meant no offence in insulting your operations here and have the upmost confidence you right a tight ship here… I must declare however that we have all the proper authorization we need to dock here. If you just run our ship’s serial number I’m sure yo-”

“-We’ve ran your ship’s serial number four times over and see nothing in our database that suggests you should be occupying this port right now.”

“That’s a problem.”

“Uh-huh… Were you and your crew from?”

“We’re Ishukone traders, we’re here delivering blank reels for the studio. If you need a manifest I can get you a co-”

“-We already have your manifest. And frankly I don’t give a damn about some manifest, I wanna see your cargo for my own eyes. Pop open that crate over there and let’s see what you boys are bringing into my port.”

"Captain Brigs, are you familiar with Article B23? "

“That article prevents me from legally forcing you from unsealing containers without warrant, given how you’re in this dock illegally, that article holds no power.”

“… Maybe we can come to a compromise?”

“You sure that’s the word you wanna be using with me son?”

“Well I’m just putting it out there… Afterall - In my defence I have legal right to be here and do not feel obligated to unseal my cargo. You on the other hand, are diligently protecting these ports from crooked smugglers, which I respect. What I won’t respect however is being treated like some smuggler… So how about we meet in the middle?”

“… And how do you propose we do that?”

“Well, how about I make a generous donation to your customs department so you can stay funded and keep up the good work? Maker knows the big wigs above you are trying to pinch kredits and yank and pull at budgets all over…”

“Well that’s mighty kind of you to suggest, but sounds like you’re trying to bribe us son…”

“A bribe is petty cash that would buy you a smoothie and sandwich for lunch. A donation would get you all much more…”

“…”

“Think about all the paperwork that you’ll need to file after you check my cargo and find nothing. Really trying to pull some more overtime today? Come on man, let me pay a modest fee as a way of saying sorry for taking up your time and a spot in your port and we’ll be extra careful next time we come to visit.”

“Well I am trying to take the kids out to see a holo-reel today. Very time sensitive activity to get to the theater and get seated before the show starts…”

“Precisely what I’m thinking Offic- Erm, Captain.”

“Sadly we don’t do donations over the Network, ima need something physical to represent this donation.”

“Of course, of course… Here, take this card loaded with Nugoeihuvi scrip that’s just begging to be spent somewhere.”

“This will do nicely… Alright then, I’ll overlook this little infraction and chalk it up to a system error on your part. Try to have your authorizations sorted out best time, I’ll ya? I might not have plans later in the day if you ■■■■ around on my watch again, you understand?”

“Loud and clear Captain Brigs…”

“Good, y’all have a nice day now…”

“You too Captain! Hope you don’t have too much trouble today!.. ■■■■■■■ peice of ■■■■ cocksucking motherfucking bitch ass pig, eat my ■■■■■■■ dick…”

< Crate dropped >

“Velrich! GOD - DAMMIT! You stupid ■■■■!”

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