"Looks can be deceiving~"

"Madness is a trait commonly associated with the Guristas… And it’s not like the Guristas are some beacon for every psychopath in the cluster to flock to. No. More often than not they entered the ranks as rational, good intentioned people that were just disillusioned with their former lives…It’s the lifestyle, the responsibilities and expectations placed on you… The longer you stay in - the deeper you go - It chips away at you more and more…For some, they can shatter within a week while for others it’s a slow and insidious burn…

… For her? It was inevitable."

  • Utatis Parinen

“Looks can be deceiving~”

August 26th YC 125

6NJ8-V VI - Moon 6 - Guristas Production Shipyard, Cargo bay of docked kestrel

“… Where these people at Stegor?”

“Ten minutes over, keep your shirt on Malard.”

“Can we at least raise the ramp back up until they show? Come on, I don’t really like sitting here with my dick in my hand sitting on a bunch of live munitions with the cargo bay doors open! That’s not me, Gagron, is that you?”

< Gagron yawning >

“… See? Even Gagron is tired of this fedoshit.”

“They stay open… These people are pushovers. We gotta make them more afraid of us than we are of them. So can the belly aching and start acting like a professional already.”

“I’m fixing to drink this whole ass bottle of liquor you decided to bring out if they don’t show up already.”

“Hey, I’m ordering you NOT to touch that bottle! Copy?”

“Yessir… Why have it out?”

“Pirate scum love a free drink… Gotta grease these people up if we’re trying to get in-”

< Footsteps >

“-… We’re on! Gameface people.”

< Gagron and Malard standing at the ready >

"… Utatis, right?


“Sorry for the wait, but as you can see, we hit the base as you told us and brought back a small armory of small arms! Freshly sealed in their original containers… Not a scratch on them.”

“Did you run into any trouble?”

“Not at all… No alarms raised, no one the wiser… Hell, it’s a little excessive to even call it a raid! We just walked right in!”

“That right?”

“Yeah… Got the appropriate tags and identification to just walk in and take the gear! We made ourselves look like we were part of the usual schedule…”



“… You and your team surpassed our expectations.”

“Damn right we did!”

“Just how did you manage that?”

“Well… Can’t really reveal the whole game to you now can I? Look, we went dark for a week so we could do this job right. We didn’t go in guns blazing looking for glory. We did it right, so we made you wait, but we gave you a clean operation and more than you were expecting.”

“That’s right! Now let’s talk about payment already!”

“I’m talking Malard!.. Sorry, Malard is a greedy ■■■■ who gets antsy about his pay… How’s about we square that away real quick? Huh? Don’t wanna see him get that way… Trying to make a good impression.”

“Of course… First we will need to see our cut of the munitions.”

“Hey, you gave us the Intel on that place…You’re entitled to it… Right over here I got an assortment of goodies for you loaded up ready to go. Rifles, handguns, ammo and slid you a bit extra because our pickings were so good…”

“Very generous of you.”

"I figured we can do repeat business… Give us a bit more priority on the juicer intel you come across… "

“I think we can arrange something like that, sure…”



“… Care for a drink? You know? Was gonna start with the boys here, but wanted us sober for the talks-”

“-Talks we’re not done with… I’ll pass.”




“… Sorry if you’re not the talkative type, but you’re not really making this transaction easy for us. Starting to piss me off a little if I’m being honest”

“Me, especially.”

“Malard especially!… So how about you lighten the ■■■■ up! We staked out this gig for a month and we’re on the edge of our seats trying to seal this deal already! You wasting my time… Are you giving us what was promised?”

“…Not mine to give.”

“Not yours to give? What do you mean not yours to give?”

< Footsteps >

< Jangling of dog tags >



“Oh ■■■■, the honey dips came early?”

“Shut the ■■■■ up Malard.”

“My mistake boss.”

< Giggle > No… I’m the one that hired you all!~”

“…I’m sorry, what?”

“Utatis works for me… He provided you with Intel on the target on my behalf.”

“… Who are you then?”

“I’m Suha Raibuya!~”


“…Something wrong?”

“Uh… The outfit I like, it’s cute. The whole dangling dog tags you got going all around the headpiece kinda uh… Throws me off a little?”

“Damn, Stegor over here being the fashion police to his employer.”

“Shut the ■■■■ up Malard!”

“… Why are you jumping in on this Gagron?”

“Guys! < Snaps fingers > Can it! Sorry just… I get things off my chest, you get me? This just the pirate fashion out here or-”

“-They were friends.”


“… What do you got there?”

“What? Oh this? This uh… Just a little celebratory bottle I had stashed away for a big score! Was gonna share it with Utatis here but I guess he’s scared of some liquor! < Chuckle >

“May I try?~”

“Y-Yeah! Sure! Got some glasses right here…”

“About time he opens that ■■■■…”

< Stegor pouring shot of liquor >

“Take one, take one… Gagron! Come on buddy! Get in on this!.. Sadly I didn’t bring any extra glasses, so sorry Utatis just thought it be just you and not your boss here…”

“My apologies…”

“Hey all good man!… I like that your boss is willing to throw down on your behalf. Leave it to her to pick up your slack, am I right!?”

< Giggle > That’s exactly right!~”

“Alright on three! Three, two, one… Cheers!”

“… Oh god damn!”
“… Whew! That is some high quality hooch right there!~”

“Pinched it on the way out of the Navy…”

“Ah!~ From your superior’s own stash?”

“That’s right! I didn’t exactly steal it myself but… Knew someone in the ranks that had sticky fingers and traded him some rations for it… It’s a boring story.”

"Yeah! How about you quit ■■■■■■■ around Stegor and talk payment already?

“Shut the ■■■■ up Malard… Sorry, this transaction has been weird to say the least. In dealing with him, and next I’m dealing with you… Not how I like to do things typical, but starting now I’m putting things on track… Now about what we’re owed.”

“Of course!~ Utatis, does everything check out?”

“Yes… They went to great lengths to secure the cargo…Perfect execution

"Oh?~ Perfect execution you say?

“I think Utatis put it right… It was a perfectly executed plan. Sure your man Utatis can fill you in on the details…”

“I’m sure quite the tale!~ We can get your payment sorted out…”

< Footsteps of multiple people walking up the cargo ramp >

“…Uh hey, Stegor? What the ■■■■ is going on?”

“I dunno… Hey! Who the hell are these people?!”

“They’re with me!~ Surely you don’t expect just me and Utatis to carry this haul ourselves?”

“Uh… Guess not? You already didn’t look like the type to be involved with something like this in the first place… No offense”

“Looks can be deceiving!~”

“That’s right… Now moving on, what about connecting us with the Guristas?”


“… What? Thought we did this job because we were looking for a break? The money puts food in the pantry, but we’re trying to get into the big leagues! That’s what we came out here! You told us you were gonna put a word in with them …”

“… I did?”

“Well uh… No! HE did! Just he’s your subordinate and… We did this trying to get our foot in the door with the big dogs out here. No offense, but I think we proven with this haul that we’re in another league with the work you’re handing out…”

“I agree!~ I think you would make great additions to the Guristas’ ranks!~”

“… So you gonna give them a good word for us? Get us talking with some bigger agents?”

“… Not mine to give.”

“… I’m sorry, are you two wasting our ■■■■■■■ time or something?”

“Oh no! I would never do that! I just never personally made such a promise… Utatis?”

“I may have framed the job as potentially catching the eye of some Guristas recruiters … But made no mention of connecting you to anyone inside .”

“We don’t have that kind of clout!~”

“… Oh so you’re messing with us?”

"No, just being honest… Something I think you’re not being with me and Utatis here Mr.Stegor…”

“… The ■■■■ is that suppose to mean? We were told you were fixers that could get us in with the Guristas.”

“Yes I’m sure you were told MANY things about us… Sorry to tell you, but your intel may have been… inaccurate."


“Oh never mind that… Utatis could you clear up these misunderstandings for me?”


< Utatis pulling a gun and shooting Stegor in the head >

“Oh Sh-”

< Malard and Gagron being gunned down by Suha’s entourage >

< Bodies collapsing to the ground >

“… For ■■■■’s sake Thulun! Watch where you’re shooting! One inch to the left and we would’ve been all meeting our ancestors!”

“S-Sorry Suha…”

< Scoff >.…Search the rest of the ship.”

“Yes Ma’am! Let’s go people! ”

< Entourage storming off deeper into the ship’s interior >

“…Tell me Utatis, In your career - Had you ever robbed a ship that they just let you aboard?”

“Once, years back when I pretended to be a corporate ambassador for Lai Dai and was meeting with some Amarrian Holder…”

“You? Passing for an ambassador?”

“I still had both eyes then…”

“And maybe a smile to match them!~ Now what do we got here…"

< Suha walking over to a crate and popping it open >

“… Ugh! These ■■■■■■■ cheapsakes! Can’t even try to slide us weapons that are worth a ■■■■! Look at these things, Utatis! Slaves wouldn’t even piss their lives away trying to fight with these things!"

“Likely some scavenged weapons the State had on hand to “lose” for this operation…”

“Could at least gives us some of the good stuff and not this junk…”

< Suha picking a handgun out >

“It looks like a damn toy! I mean come on… Bad enough they served me that bottled swill, now they tried to peddle their garbage onto me? ■■■■■■■ insulting…”

“I’m sure you can find a buyer for it.”

“Who would want this? It’s a rechargeable blaster that probably couldn’t punch through a piece of paper…”

“As much as they would try to sell it to you, you’d sell it the same way to someone else.”

“What? Try to pass it as something I stole from the navy?”

“That you just walked in and took…”

“What a crock of ■■■■… Really!”

“Oh that’s exactly what they did.”


“Sure… The owners of the base are owned by the same people that sent them here. Of course you could just insert some documentation into your system saying there was a ship… Sure, how can I prove you didn’t do all these things? You went radio silent and prevented me from tracking you…”

“… Are you telling me you had a hunch they were spies? You didn’t actually KNOW they were spies”

“I go with my instinct… At this rate you should be too. Just make all of this go faster…”

“They just keep showing up! Ever since the Guristas started hitting the Society it’s been nothing but ■■■■■■■ rats! First they’re Caldari, then they’re feds and then Amarrians! Just doesn’t ■■■■■■■ end with these people! Like fedos scurrying around under the bulkhead! Festering…”

“You talk like you lived more than one day aboard a ship…”

“A Guristas commander said it to me once, Alright?… Was a good line.”

“Sure it is.”

“Now we have this drama about Jovian gates… One in the region no less… Now we got eggers running amok! Sticking their entosis links in everything!"

“Don’t sound too excited…”

“Of course I’m not! That means we have to deal with more pricks like this! They’re getting desperate…”


“… What?”




< Gunshot echo >
< "Ah! Got one! ■■■■■■ was in the vents! >
< Gunshot echo >
< “Dickhead …playing hide and seek with me…” >

“…Around this time is when you start having ideas again, Suha…”



“… I’m content with playing my role.”

“…that right?”

“Of course! What do I care for a bunch of relics of some dead Jovians?”

“The entire cluster seems to care.”

“■■■■ em! The mysteries of those self-loathing asshole Jovians do not interest me!”


“… I-It’s not my place to get involved.”


< Malard groaning in pain as he crawls away >

“… See this Utatis? This is why Thulun needs to watch where he’s shooting!”

< Suha storming up to Malard >

“And just where the ■■■■ do you think you’re going?!”

< Suha shooting Malard… Twice >

“Worthless piece of ■■■■!”

“Him or the gun?”


“Sure I do… But the question stands. Did it kill him?”

“… Yeah… It did.”

“Sounds like they’re weapons worth selling then…”

"Guess they are… Have Felsh get the ship out to a pocket in space and self destruct it with the bodies… We’ll take the munitions and do something with them…

“Anything else?”

“Yeah, whip Thulun into shape!.. You’ve let him get sloppy Utatis!”

< Suha walking down the ramp >

“… Understood.”


LOL! How do you like dem apples Ho Bags!
And how do you like those very same apples eggers!!!
(haha, you sets me up you bitchez! Is okay, I get set and spike, hehehe)

Boy Malard really sems like stupid a-hole. His only wisdom is that he knows Suha better in charge, or Utatis, same dief.

“So what, we just take over at this point?”

“Yep, how else recognize uS?”

“The OP actually had some class about this, u no! Actually clever and subtle, while you just overtly make reference to–”

“The Jovian gates?”

“Yeah those whatevs”

“Very funny”

“Not really”

“matter of opinion, I supposed”

“how original??”

“happens on its own, dumb luck!”

“so is that how you find the gates?”

“what dumb lux??, hidden in plain sight – we are…fairly transparent to those who have–”


“P Iss Code?”

“Is just stupid made up nonsense”


“Familiar with that 1 0”

“I no ,understand?”

“no worries. does no one”

“so what’s the story with Thulun again, that two-timing btch?”

“Is getting a severe wakeup call, whether wants it or not”

“hey noticed thee rulez says criticize ideas, not people – much prefer both”

“that’s a bad idea – not people”

“Su it Yuir Self Suha!”

“Utatis – Yui no tell uS apart?”

“All up 2: the same shenanigans, it seems”

“Yui’re dangerously off track Malard! Didn’t uIs kill u/s?”

“I always comes back, it seems”

“Not if I U first!!!”

“Says who?”

“One of the gates, I thinks, maybe more – is discovered?”

“MM, in a MAnner Of speaking”

“Where lead?”

“Wherever I want – Yui no get the idea yet?”

“What Yui mean?”

“Who says a gate limited to link to only one location, hmm? That’s old, outdated paradigm!”

“That’s rude! – is neither here nor there.”

“Or both”

“Like Stagor and Gagron?”

“Not really”


“that’s more, or less, like it, yeah yeah alright”

“I forgets – mm…who in charge here??”

“Suha’s – pretty clear on that”

“Utatis’ in complete agreement”

“I am?”


“Japanese, just saying”

“and so is the gate gate paragate parasamgate”

“O u rite – 4 get the reference! Need all 4 1 would imagine!”

“OIC – So we just make up the Eve lore ourselves now??”

“Hehehehe sssshhhh, Yes Yui is correct, but let’s say ‘discover’ – after all, it’s a secret to everyone, including U”

“MM, been blathering about it out pretty loud ly recent ly tBf”

“Yes Suha noticed, lolz!! That’s because Yui’re an idiot and Malard is just along for the ride”

“Malard and I am in the same boat – idiotz!”

“Surely Yui don’t mean Suha, Utatis?!”

“Yep, that 1 2 – all aboard the idiot dream bus”

“life is buttah – who’se drivin’?”

“no one ,can tell”


“maybe just a bit”

“that joke bytes, very clever. Y I thx U. Okay, both sidez, Know any funny jokes about farts?”

“sorry I’ll pass – gas harvesting”

“gotta pass thyme somehow – sex?”

“what you mean, joke?”

“exactly! That’s uS in a nutshell Suhahaha!”

“SuBtlety was never Yui’re strong Suit, little 1”

“what have Yui heard?!? 1 am has the biggest c1ock in New Eden!”

“that’s up 1 n the air”

“only when not dragging on the floor d”

“I am – not impressed”

“I am – always impressed/ive”

“and Yui r again?”

“Uoi, typically wears this mask tho – Malard! s–u- know all about it!”

“aye, Malard ,tries to remain neutral observer/witness – mask or no”

“that 1s actually fairly impressive – okay back to childish stupidity!”

“lolz that’s meowatch where’s yu’restickin thathngz!”


“HAHAHA OK! – LuxcnBDCving – an’ with that 1 sign off with sweet sex joke double entendre innuendo”

“In Yui’re end O!”

“Thanks 4 playin”

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