“Growing up, all I wanted to do was leave my colony and join the Guristas fleet. Was about the only opportunity any of us had if we didn’t want to spend the rest of our life on some backwater world… Sadly I failed to even join my colony’s militia and deemed unfit to even graduate to the Guristas proper… Those I grew up with? They all managed to get there… A-And all of them have done great! Like Mikal! H-He became a raid lieutenant under Kaikka Peunato! Then… Was slaughtered by a Capsuleer while defending a deadpsace complex… Jalo! He joined the Dread Guristas! Only to get sucked into the vacuum of space after the hull of the ship was breached during a boarding assualt… Huala? We…W-We don’t know what happened to her after the Caldari Navy boarded the ship she was on… Then D-Danse he… He was murdered by SARO agents…
That’s just a few names on a growing list. Sometimes their dog tags make it back to me… And each time I’m made to ask why them? S-S-Shouldnt I be the one dead in a ditch somewhere?! Why the ■■■■ am I still here, but they’re not?! Is it because I’m such a failure I was spared this?! That I’m made to live and witness as my colony’s entire generation dies out?! Leaving just me…”
- Suha Raibuya
“You should smile!~”
November 2nd YC 126
H-PA29 IV - Moon 2 - Guristas Assembly Plant - SoE medical center, Patient room 452, Suha Raibuya - Bathroom
< Faucet knob turning >
“… < Sigh >”
“Aww~… What’s with the long face?~”
“…I’m a ■■■■ up.”
“Oh!~ Let’s not use such harsh language!~ We need to use more uh… wholesome words!~”
“Wholesome?.. W-What wholesome words are there to describe me?!”
“A goofy goober!~”
“…”
“… Pouting isn’t a good look for you, you know?~”
“Y-You’re not taking this seriously!”
“What has taking things seriously ever done for us?~”
“Allllmooost!~”
“I almost died, because I’m a ■■■■ up! Because I can’t face anything in life sober! I gotta be doped out of my mind just to get through the day!”
“So what?~ You use something to take the edge off!~ There’s no shame in that honey!~ You’ve always been in control of these things… You took too much for your body to handle this one time. Now you know your limits!~”
“T-T-That’s not the ■■■■■■■ point!”
“Oh? Then what is?~ Do tell, because i just wanna hear what’s got you soooooo worked up!~”
“… W-What if Akko was right this whole time?”
“Hmm?~”
“That I’m just an embarrassment! T-That I was never cut out for any of this! I was never going to amount to anything useful!”
“Akko is dead sweetie!~ Do you really want to stress your little heart out thinking about that piece of sh-… < Ahem >, that goober!~ I mean… Just take a good look at yourself Suha!~ Not even in your thirties yet, and already you have gray hairs poking out…”
“W-What?!”
“< Giggle > You worry too much!~ It’s taking a drain on your looks darling!~”
“…”
“You should smile!~”
“What if I don’t mean it…?”
“…?~”
“You smile because you’re happy, right?”
“Awww!~ Suha!~ That pretty face of yours isn’t complete without a smile!~
“What if im too ■■■■■■■ miserable to smile!?”
“… Suha!~ Have I not kept us safe up until now?~ We smile because anything else would be a sign of weakness!~ And we already know what happens to the weak in these parts… Riiiiight?!~”
“R-Right…”
“Right!~ So we can’t let anyone else on how we may or may not truly feel!~ What’s important is appearances! If you smile, then those around you will smile too!~”
“Utatis never smiles…”
“…”
“It’s… It’s always that same look… He never smiles, just stares at me with that flat glare…I see it in his eye how much he doesn’t actually care about me…”
“… Why didn’t you kill him?”
“W-What?”
“You had him at gunpoint… You learned the truth and yet all you managed to do was shoot him in the leg!”
“…”
“You WANTED to kill him! You wanted to blow his brains out right then and there! Yet you hesitate! You let him live so he can continue to be a parasite off you! Why?!”
“H-He’s useful!”
“I…I deserved it.”
“Des- FEDOSHIT! You ~Deserved~ it?! Is that the line of logic we’re back to?! When the ■■■■ are you gonna grow up and stop letting shitbags beat on you Suha?! Huh?!”
“I-”
“-Oh! You let Akko get away with it! Time let that prick live a full life before you could muster the courage to do him in yourself! You had a chance to make things right! You could’ve killed him and made the point that nobody would ever lay their goddamn hands on you again like that! But you didn’t! You didn’t because you’re scared, becuase you’re still ■■■■■■■ weak!”
< Suha whimpering >
“…Suha~ Did I go too far?~”
“Y-Y-Yes!”
“Well hey, look at me…”
“…?”
“… D’aaww!~ You poor thing!~ I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings like that!~”
“T-Then w-why did-”
“-Sssshh, hush now!~ I need you to get ahold of yourself…See? This is what I mean… You have to smile, Suha!~ Nobody wants to see this… Nobody is gonna spare you any pity like I am. They take one good look at you like this and they’re gonna take advantage of you…”
“…”
“Do you think Fatal would start crying?”
“N-No…”
“You still wanna be like him, don’t you? Well, I don’t think he be crying over mean words… No, I think he would smile!~”
“…”
“So how about it, hmm?~ Let’s see a smile!~”
“…”
“You can do it!~”
“…”
“Theeereee it is!~ That’s a beautiful look for you Suha!~ That’s exactly how you need to face the world… Now, I need you to promise me something Suha.”
“What’s that?”
“I need you to promise me you will never let someone get away with hurting you… You don’t hesitate, you end them so they never have another chance to do it again… Can you promise me that?~”
“I… Promise.”
“Swell!~ I’m glad you and I could talk… It’s late!~ You need to get some rest darling!~ Tomorrow is a new day afterall!~”
“It’s past midnight already…”
“Eh!~ Semantics!~”
“…”
“Hey!~ Don’t forget to smile!~”
“O-Okay… I won’t.”
“Good!~”