“The Capsuleer I serve isn’t like the oth-”

“My Father was killed by Capsuleers…Big surprise, right? It’s a story all too common around here, everyone from The Rabbit to someone as irrelevant as me has lost someone to these monsters. To them we’re not even human, we’re rats that need to be exterminated without mercy. All they see are red icons on a list and a bounty tied to each one…It’s ironic when you think about it…They’ll scream that we’re murderous savages that do nothing but loot and slaughter but…I-I mean come on! Come on now! How many of us have they ■■■■■■■ killed!? Huh!? They do nothing but kill-kill-kill-and kill! It never ends! Not a day goes by where our people aren’t up against these nightmares! They don’t care…They Just don’t care at all and it is the most terrifying thing about them.”

  • Suha Raibuya

“The Capsuleer I serve isn’t like the oth-”

October 5th YC121

Guristas lookout station - N0C-UN, Venal Reigon

“You’re not the Capsuleer…”

“No, but I’m qualified to speak on his behalf.”

“What? Comes in and makes a show of the rogue drones tearing our base apart and is too pussy to meet me face-to-face?”

“We’re aware of the reputation Capsuleers get in these parts ma’am. It’s wiser not to get comfy just because we did you solid.”

“Well you’re right about the Capsuleer bit…Still, I can’t help but be a little disappointed that he sends a minion to come talk to me in person. Then again, the moment he steps out of that pod and onto my station, his life is well within my hands and your pretty little ship out there would be a sitting duck without its master at the helm… No, he’ll stay in that pod and be a deterrent that prevents me from skinning you alive for testing my patience…Who are you?”

“Jiro Hautio, commanding officer for the Myrskytuuli Regiment’s De-bug unit.”

"De-bug? What kind of cringy ass name is that?:

“We’re a specialized unit that excels in combats against rogue drone threats.”

“How convenient for you to show up on my doorstep during an assault against rogue drones…What do you want? Or rather, what does your Capsuleer master want? This station is entirely responsible keeping watch over this sector of Venal, we don’t have any high-end modules or ship blueprints stored here. We just keep watch, that’s all.”

“Precisely, which is why want information on the location of a drone hive…Specifically the one those that attacked came from.”


“So we can destroy it, what else? Prevent another attack like this from happening.”

“…Follow me, stay close and don’t wander off.”

“Where we going?”

“Command center, we do have some data that could lead you to the hive you’re looking for…If your Capsuleer master wants to risk the lives of you minions to ice over a hive giving us troubles, have at it!”

“One way of putting it, sure…”



“So Jori was it? Tell me what it’s like being a minion to a Capsuleer. How’s it feel to be a passive pawn to a demigod that has no consideration for your life, huh?”

“The Capsuleer I serve isn’t like the oth-”

“Oh! Lemme just stop you from mouthing off some ■■■■■■■■, sonny…Capsuleers that think they’re not like the “others” are delusional…You can suck the cock of CONCORD or one of the big four, but it doesn’t make you different from those “others” that have lost all connection to reality and think life just a game, alright? You’re brainwashed and buying into the cult aura that surrounds these immortal cocksuclers and I gotta be honest - it kinda hurts me inside, kid.”

“…Well I’d that is how you feel abo-”

“Y-Y-You wanna know? You wanna know what hurts me the most seeing you pawns working for Capsuleers? It’s that they don’t give a ■■■■ about you, the juicy pay check is just to convince you to put your life in the hands of someone who doesn’t care about putting their life in danger. The benefit package for your family if you die due to their incompetence is just to make you comfortable and receptive to dying for their benefit…You die, and your family becomes dependent on a Capsuleer for the rest of their lives. Your death? Would be the best thing to ever happen to them…”

“…What was your name again, ma’am?”

“Viruka Kuutalo. And while you’re on my station, you’ll not refer to me as ma’am - but as Captain Viruka, understood?”

“Yes…Captain Viruka.”

“Obedient, like a good minion…Now, into the elevator. Come on now, ain’t got all day.”

“Of course…”




“If I may ask a question, Captain. Why exactly the distrust of Capsuleers?”


“…Humor me, if you will.”

“…I feel so sorry for you, I hope I’ve made that clear to you sonny. Are you seriously asking me why I distrust Capsuleers? Did I not make it clear to you a minute ago? Fine, I’ll put it like this - We distrust Capsuleers because they’re twice as greedy as the Guristas ever could dream of being. Every ship we put out gets a bounty slapped on it by CONCORD and the Capsuleers come swarming like sharks that smell blood in the water. They scrap entire fleets of our people, and blow up structures with hundreds, if not thousands of us in search for our technology that they sell for the blood money of other Capsuleers…Then there’s the ones that do it out of pride, real nightmarish pricks. So drunk on their patriotism and their self righteousness that they pocket the money in our death and destruction and try to come off as some heroic figure. They won’t just scrap our vessels and be done with it - they’ll pick though the wrecks for survivors to execute without mercy or send off to be handed to “Proper authorities” to take care of…They’re cold hearted bastards, I sometimes think sheep like you run to serve under a Capsuleer so you can avoid their wraith…Maybe get a comfy job aboard the ship of a pilot that does nothing but run security missions for the Empires in high-security space…”

“Well I’m not in high-security space, I’m out here- hunting for defective drones.”

“Ha! Sure, whatever you say…Just know I - and everyone here have their reasons to distrust and hate Capsuleers. And unfortunately that distrust and hate can extend down to any that crew their vessels. If we ever pop a Egger’s ship and pod, won’t matter in the long run - they’ll just wake up safely in a station light years away…You schmucks that survive however? Heh…You’ll get plucked from the wrecks so we can take our frustrations out on ya’. Somebody’s gotta pay for the damage the Egger caused, might as well be the pawns that helped run their ship.”

“I see…”

“Good…Ah! Looks like we’re here, come along.”

“…The attack sure made a mess up here.”

“Power is still on, all that matters. Over here, minion.”


“This tac-map can give you an idea of what you’re messing with, we got informed of a drone hive forming in a deadspace pocket near the first moon of N0C-UN V. Databanks show we mopped up a Caldari Navy staging point there two months prior and I guess the drones moved in and took over the infrastructure we left behind.”

“Rogue Drones tend to gravitate to abandoned deadspace structures, if you guys don’t occupy them yourselves, I advise scuttling everything so there’s nothing left for drones to make a hive out of.”

“I advice you shut your ass up, I didn’t even have anything to do with this, do I agree? Sure - but you’re telling it to the wrong person.”

“My mistake, Captain.”

“…Prick - ANYWAY - if you give me a second I can get the “bookmark” of the deadspace pocket. The Guristas fleet that cleared out the site have the bookmark uploaded to the network so I can pull it from here and print it onto a disc for you to take back to the ship.”




“…You know, we’ve undertaken a lot of missions for the Guristas, security ops…Few distribution jobs even…You know, give you guys a helping hand.”

“…And you think that makes everything better? You do some security missions and you think we can trust you? No, no Capsuleer out here putting in work is doing it with our interests at heart. There just here because we pay better and offer a company store with stuff that’s actually worth some real kredit…Your Capsuleer master can run all the security mission he wants…Doesn’t make him different.”

“Very well…I’ll just leave it at that then.”

“Mhmm…Here, take your ■■■■■■■ disc back to your master, minion. Then - you leave and never come back to me, understand?”

“Of course, though I’d you have any future problems with rogue drones, we’d be happy to come back and h-”

“Get the ■■■■ off my station.”


The capsuleer minion reminded me of me.

Everybody hates capsuleers , including , and especially perhaps ; capsuleers. :grin:

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