The Salvation of Meara Natinde

[Canaith_Lydian]

Canaith Fulfills His Promise

The next day’s first session was not as short as the others. Canaith had taken Meara for a walk in a park with purple trees while she explained the series of sessions that she had experienced in the Training Center’s seminar. She completely disregarded the rule about sharing the session details, which was the first time Meara could remember not following the rules. Talking to Canaith was so easy, and the honesty of it such a novelty, that detail after detail had just flowed out of her.

In the second session, she and Canaith spoke about her childhood. She would give the view she held of a memory as a child, then, with Canaith’s occasional help, would address the circumstance more objectively as an adult. Meara found that Canaith’s emotional wrapping program almost required her to acknowledge how her memories made her feel. Canaith was fulfilling his promise of bringing the seminar’s teaching back to her, and by the time the session was over she felt that she had a better understanding of herself.

During the evening meal, she listened to discussions between members of her cohort and was pleased to hear how many of them were expressing their satisfaction with their pilgrimage. There was a girl who said that she felt that she had come to the pilgrimage as a child but was going home as an adult. Another said that she felt she had been given what she needed to fulfill her upcoming marriage obligation. Rather than fearing it as she had been, she now looked forward to it. Another confessed that she had discovered how shallow her faith had been.

During this conversation, Meara found herself missing the receiving and sending of emotions through Canaith’s program. She also felt herself wondering how much of what was being said was actually heartfelt. Finally, after yet another girl shared praise of their pilgrimage’s value, Meara spoke out to the group for the first time she could ever remember doing so.

“I am so proud of all of you,” she said, and though she could not send an emotion, she did her best to convey the sincerity of her words.

Many of the girls bowed an acknowledgement to her, and one girl that Meara did not know said, “We are all very proud you, Meara.”

Meara did not know what to say, so she just bowed politely and smiled. Most of the girls returned it. Though none of the girls could send emotional wrappers, Meara hoped the spirit of unity she felt among them all was real.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Who are You?

For their third and final session of the day, Canaith and Meara were back in the beautiful observation deck on which Meara and Canaith had their first session together, looking out at an Asteroid Belt in BK-4. Canaith had served them a drink, and Meara thought it wonderful that she could actually taste it.

“Meara,” he said. “I wish to speak to you about something that is sensitive. And so that you can feel safe, I would like to suspend my emotion AI.”

Meara paused to consider this, then nodded. “Of course,” she said.

After a moment’s pause, Canaith said, “There. It is done.”

Canaith took a final sip from his glass and seemed to collect himself. “Meara, have you ever used the term Imperial Face? I am sure that you have heard of it, but do you understand it?”

Meara understood why Canaith had considered this a sensitive subject. This term was officially considered an insult to Amarr culture. It was an easy term to use in a derogatory way.

“I do,” she said. “To me, it is the image of ourselves that we project publicly, often as a front to hide what we really think or how we really feel.”

“Well said,” he offered, “but I would like to rephrase your words, if I may.”

She nodded. “Of course.”

“The Imperial Face is the image of ourselves that we project to others so that we may hide who we really are.”

Meara considered his words, seeing the connection between his words and the theme of the seminar: Who Are You?

“I do not fault the authoritarian nature of our Empire,” he continued. “There is an Amarr Ideal for which striving is worthwhile, and those who craft our traditions have long decided that the control of our deeds and our speech is an effective tool for defending that Ideal.”

Meara was excited that someone was speaking this way out loud. He was straying to the edges of permitted speech.

“But the priests also know that the Law cannot reach beyond your Imperial Face.” Canaith looked at her with a serious expression.

“So, the seminar,” Meara said, “Is trying to tear down the Imperial Face?”

“No.” Canaith answered, “That is not possible. The seminar hopes to encourage your private mind to resemble your public mind. And this is what reveals an important truth about the question ‘who are you?’.”

Meara thought about what Canaith had said. “So, the law cannot shape our private mind, and we can always hide behind the Imperial Face."

Canaith’s eyes seemed to encourage her to continue.

Meara followed the logic and was a bit surprised at her conclusion. Finally, she said, "Then we are who we choose to be.”

“Exactly,” Canaith said.

“But what about Destiny?” she asked.

“Too many people believe that our Divine Destiny is something that will happen while we watch,” he said, “like we are watching those pirates from our comfortable chairs.”

Meara looked out to the asteroid field and saw a handful of ships flying in a loose formation.

“But that is not how destiny works,” Canaith continued. “The fulfillment of our destiny is active. Our striving is real. Our pursuits require our effort, like those of that pilot there.”

Meara followed Canaith’s gaze and saw a single ship engaging the others. He was outnumbered. It did not seem likely that he could win.

“Why does he not run?” Meara said, captivated by the scene.

“Because that is not what he chooses,” Canaith said. “He has chosen to fulfill his destiny.”

Canaith pressed a button on a side table to change the view. The display zoomed into the battle and tracked the lone ship that was fighting the others. One by one, the pirate vessels exploded as lasers blazed from the lone vessel. Eventually, there were no pirates remaining.

“Your destiny has assigned you a purpose, Meara,” Canaith said, “but the purpose is not always clear. To find it, you must look for it, and to fulfill it you must find the courage to walk in it.”

“What if I lack the courage?” she asked.

“You are a child of Amarr,” he said, and there was conviction in his voice. “You have a divine appointment, a role in the destiny of the empire, a gifted mind, and a good heart.”

Meara was moved by the fact that he believed such things about her.

“Since these things are true,” he said, “and not mere projections of your Imperial Face, finding courage should prove easy enough for you.”

She looked back to the Asteroid field. The lone ship warped off, leaving a flash behind it.

“Where is he going?” she asked.

“To fulfill his purpose,” Canaith said.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Day Two, Session 1

At the start of the following morning’s session, Meara found herself seated at a small square table in the center of what appeared to be a sports arena, though the seats in the arena were empty. It was an odd scene, and what seemed to Meara a great waste of space.

There was a man seated across from her at the table, and a game board on the table. Meara recognized the game. It was an ancient strategy game that most people knew how to play, but few knew how to play well. It was called “Chess”. Canaith stood to the side of the table, dressed casually.

“Do you know this game?,” Canaith asked.

“I know of it,” Meara answered. She tried to send playful, but the emotional AI was still turned off.

“Here’s a refresher,” he said, and a few seconds later the rules of the game seemed to be written into her mind. It was an odd experience.

“Begin,” he said, and the man across from Meara took the first turn.

Within a dozen moves, Meara could see that she was cornered. Canaith apparently could, too.

“Again,” he said, and the board reset itself.

This time, Meara fared better, and she eventually won the game.

“Good,” Canaith said. Two timers appeared on the table, changing the game from “Chess” to “Speed Chess.”

“Begin,” he said.

Her opponent, whoever he was, was good and fast. He won the first game but lost the second two.

“Good,” Canaith said when the third game was over.

Suddenly, the table changed. It was bigger with a rotating tabletop upon which there were three boards instead of one. Apparently, she was about to play three games of chess at once.

“Best two out of three wins the round, “ Canaith said. The man opposite Meara looked like he was out for blood. Meara lost the first round two games to one.

“Meara,” Canaith said. “Do not hold back. Do not merely play. For right now, winning every game is your purpose.” The look on his face was serious.

Meara stopped and realized that she had been treating this like free time, a recreation, merely a game. Canaith wanted her to take this more seriously. She looked at him and nodded.

The table changed again. Now there were five boards instead of three. She also noticed that the timers had changed. She had only ten seconds to make each move.

“You shall not lose another game,” Canaith said, and he did not need his emotion AI for her to know what he was feeling.

Meara made a move and pressed the button on top of her timer. When her opponent pressed the button on top of his, the tabletop rotated automatically to advance her to the next gameboard. The result was that every ten seconds, Meara had ten seconds to make a move in a different game.

She focused this time like her life depended on it. In her mind, she could see all the games at once like she had seen the complex machines in the VR session a few days before. Two of the five games were over rather quickly, but then her opponent changed the way he played and made no mistakes. Meara decided that she would not, either.

Eventually, after dozens of turns, she won a third game, winning the round. When it was over, she could almost feel her mind withdraw from the remaining boards.

“When you pursue a purpose,” Canaith said, “every move matters. You are either fulfilling your purpose or you are wasting your time.”

Suddenly, the arena was full of people. The noise was astounding. There were jeers from the crowd, taunts, and insults. The board game reset itself, and Meara heard the click of her opponent’s timer. Quickly, she made her first move, and the table rotated.

Every time she tried to focus, another insult from the crowd shook her attention. This crowd did not want her to win. They hated her. As the games progressed, she could see disadvantage creeping into every game board. She was being outplayed but was too distracted to focus. Finally, a board came into view and Meara could see she was going to lose.

Everything froze and was silent.

“Why did you lose, Meara?” Canaith asked.

“I did not know how to make them stop.” she said. “Their judgement of me was not deserved.”

“And why did you care about them?” he asked, gesturing to the crowd. “Your purpose was to win the game.”

Meara did not have an answer.

“Your Imperial Face is a tool, Meara.” he said, “Do not cower behind it. They cannot tell you your purpose, nor can they measure you by it. You must find and fulfill it without them.”

Meara scanned the crowd and saw all the jeering faces. They were not real, but their displeasure brought her fear.

“They cannot tell you who you are.” he said.

“I decide who I am?” she asked. “But how can I stand up to the rejection of so many? It seems impossible.”

The scene changed. This time, Canaith sat opposite the opponent and Meara was standing beside the table. The crowd resumed their taunts and jeers, this time targeting Canaith instead of her. His opponent made the first move, and within a fraction of a second, Canaith was hitting his timer. The opponent would make a move, and Canaith was making his within a second later. The crowd jeered, booed, and threw insults, but it was as though Canaith did not hear them. The pace of the game became faster.

Meara took a step back and could not believe what she saw. Canaith was not even looking at the game boards. The game table was in constant motion, flipping from one board to the next without pause. Within a handful of minutes, Canaith had won.

Everything froze again.

“Use your Imperial Face, Meara, but remember that it is disconnected from who you are.” He stood and gestured to the jeering crowd. “What you do for them and what you do for real happen in different worlds. Do not let their world interrupt the real world. Play their game for them, project whatever illusion serves you, but fulfill your purpose without them in the real world.”

“So,” Meara asked, still reeling from what she had seen. “You do not hide behind your Imperial Face?”

“I do not cower behind it, no,” he said, “and neither shall you once you decide who you are.”

---

When Meara sat up on her bed, she was full of excitement. What Canaith was showing her was a pathway to a power that Meara had not known existed. She did not yet know how to express that power with words. What she wanted that Canaith had was the ability to live without fear and to rely on conviction in one’s own choice. Meara had been living in fear of others her whole life. He was showing her how to stand her ground.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Day Two, Session 2

After lunch, Meara entered the next scheduled session with Canaith, and found herself in the same arena they had been in before. Instead of a table in its center, there was just an open field. There were no spectators, at least not yet.

Canaith was there, dressed in a light military combat uniform. Meara changed her avatar to be dressed similarly, and Canaith bowed approval.

Suddenly, Meara experienced a rush of thoughts like memories running through her mind. She looked up to find Canaith tossing her a rapier sword. She caught it and swirled it into a salute like a fencing champion, and Canaith returned the salute with a salute of his own.

“How did I know how to do that?” she asked.

“I taught you while you were not looking,” he said, smiling. Then he pointed over her shoulder and said, “You should practice on him.”

Meara turned just in time to see a sword heading for her midsection that was being wielded by her chess opponent from earlier. She knocked the blade aside easily and countered without thinking, stabbing the man in his ribs right under his sword arm. Meara was shocked at her own act of violence. The man grunted and evaporated into a puff of smoke.

“Well done,” Canaith said. “Now try two.”

Two copies of her chess opponent appeared, and they immediately charged. Meara ducked under one man’s rapier while she parried the other, following the parry with an upward stab in a move that could have been called a modified passata sotto. While laughing at the fact that she even knew what a passata sotto was, she quickly dispatched her remaining foe.

“Alright, then,” Canaith said cheerfully, “it seems you get the gist of it.”

Meara laughed, enjoying herself, but then she checked herself. This was not free time. There was going to be a point to all of this, and she did not want to miss it.

Canaith came to stand beside her as six copies of the chess opponent materialized several feet away. They stood looking at Meara and Canaith with animosity in their eyes.

“What your seminar was no doubt going to teach you,” Canaith said, “was that the question ‘who are you?’ by itself is lacking an important context. Who you are is defined in the context of those to whom you are connected.”

“Connected by what?” Meara asked.

“Connected by relationship, role, experiences, purpose.” he answered. “You can be a student, a teacher, a mentor, a wife, a daughter, a friend. Your relational context is important in understanding who you are.”

Meara chewed on what he had said.

“This morning,” Canaith said, “you played chess alone, but you had opponents and you had spectators. You even had me speaking in your ear. Who you were, then, was not just a reflection of yourself. It was influenced by those around you.”

Canaith put his sword at the ready, so Meara did the same.

“When they come at us,” he growled, “you are no longer fighting alone. I am fighting with you.”

All six opponents charged them at once. Somehow, Meara was skilled at fencing, but she did not know what to do against six at a time. Meara tagged each foe in her mind with the names A, B, C, D, E, and F.

“Forward then back, Meara,” she heard Canaith say. She did not have time to think long about what he meant, so she lunged at A and then reversed direction. As A followed her in a counterattack, Canaith’s blade pierced his throat. As A turned into smoke, Canaith spun, catching Meara’s eyes with a smile. He lunged at B, then sprang backward, imitating the move Meara had done before. As B rushed in to attack Canaith, Meara stabbed him in his thigh.

C was lunging at Meara, and she noticed, but too late. Just as his sword pierced the skin of her face, Canaith pulled her by a shoulder, reducing the force of the blade and almost hurling her at D. She saw Canaith’s plan and lent her weight into a lunge that took D in his midsection.

As she spun, she saw that Canaith had quickly dispatched C, but that E was coming for Canaith from behind while he faced F. She screamed, ran, and kicked E in his knee, which caused him to lose his balance and fall. Canaith spun and ducked, smiling at Meara as his blade pierced the fallen E. His duck revealed to Meara a charging F, to whom Canaith was deliberately exposing himself to attack.

Meara took a step onto Canaith’s extended knee and launched herself at F. Her rapier pierced the target’s face, leaving nothing but smoke.

Meara turned to face Canaith, exhilarated by their win. He was smiling back at her. But then she felt real pain in her face. She ran her hand over the pain and found a wound, though the wound was healing quickly, and the pain was diminishing. The realization that one could feel pain here opened her eyes to what had just been risked.

Canaith stood, his movement attracting her attention. “In this fight, Meara, who were you?” his look was serious, indicating that this was an important question.

“I was… I was your…” she trailed off, not finding an easy answer. Canaith encouraged her with his eyes.

“There was no ‘me’.” she said. “There was only ‘us’.”

“Exactly,” Canaith said. “Unity is what you and I just experienced. It was a unity of purpose. True unity is more than a feeling. It is a union. It is found in the moments when individuals unite and become something greater.”

Meara stopped to think. “Is this the message of the seminar? Is this the kind of unity for which the priests are striving?”

Canaith looked thoughtful. “For many priests, I think it is. That is the unity of the Amarr ideal. Others, though, I fear have lost sight of the ideal. They only want control. And it is because of them that you must remain skillful in the use of your Imperial Face even as you strive for the ideal.”

Meara was not sure she understood, but she did not know how to ask for clarification.

“Now,” he said. “This session’s final lesson.”

The arena stands were suddenly full of people. They were angry like they had been before, spitting the occasional curse or insult. The noise was loud and inescapable. Something in their accusations pulled at Meara’s subconscious. The desire to please them was so strong that Meara suspected a program was affecting her. She knew these were not real people, but her mind was somehow making them real.

Six more opponents appeared. Canaith rolled his shoulders and closed his eyes, apparently centering his thoughts. Meara was suddenly afraid.

Everything froze and turned black-and-white. Other than Meara, the only other color in the place came from Canaith.

“In this arena, you are experiencing three separate worlds.” he said. “You choose which one is real, Meara. These spectators are the real world, you are the real world, or we are the real world.”

“How do I know which one is real?” she asked.

“You choose who you are,” he said.

The virtual world resumed, and the crowd’s jeers were as loud as ever. Meara tagged six enemies as One, Two, Three, Four, Five, and Six. Canaith stood beside her, his sword at the ready.

Three worlds, he had said, and Meara could sense them all. There was the world in which the crowd mattered, there was the world where only she mattered, and there was the world of a union between Canaith and Meara. She wanted that world to be the one that mattered.

She looked at Canaith, and his eyes were on her. She imagined what he would be sending if his emotion AI was activated. She imagined it would be hope, faith, and pleading. If Canaith was offering to be her real world, even if just in this moment, how could she refuse him?

She stood resolute, ignoring the crowd, ready to be his right hand.

As the foes closed in, Canaith leapt forward while Meara watched in all directions. His lunge found one target while his other hand reached back. She trusted him and took his hand, pulling him backward. He borrowed her strength and jumped in the air, catapulting over her head. Two foes, Two and Three, were lunging at her, but she put herself low to the ground, using her off-hand for balance, and stabbed up into the abdomen of Two. Three disappeared into a puff of smoke as Canaith’s blade lunged through the space that Meara had occupied moments before.

Then the unthinkable happened. Four’s blade pierced Canaith’s sword arm at the bicep. Five and Six were coming from behind them both.

For a moment, Meara felt afraid. Canaith’s wound might take him out of the fight, and their swords would be coming for her next. She took a step back, and then heard the scorn of the crowd demanding her death. This appeared to be a test that she was going to fail miserably.

Canaith looked back, and what she expected to see on his face was disappointment or regret. What she saw instead was resolve. He reached out to her with a steady left hand and his confidence became her anchor. She took two steps forward, building speed, and took his left hand into hers. Canaith spun, hurling Meara in a sweeping arc. Both of her feet landed on Four’s chest as Canaith let her go. She pushed off of Four and brought her sword down into Five’s chest, who disintegrated into dust.

Canaith was running hard, and as he passed Meara, he took her into his arms and lifted her up so that she was looking over his shoulder. She saw that Four was trying to stand and that Six was in close pursuit.

Canaith stopped, sliding sideways while setting Meara on the ground. She looked at him and mouthed “forward and back”, and then lunged, but immediately withdrew, luring Six to chase her. Canaith’s left fist smashed into Six’s face, staggering him, which gave Meara time to come in for the kill.

The smoke from Six’s demise gave cover to Four’s advance, and from the smoky cloud he emerged, his rapier in a lunge for Canaith’s heart. Meara’s rapier, thrown like an unbalanced spear, pierced Four’s throat just before the blade would have run Canaith through.

Meara could feel her heart racing from the adrenaline rush. The crowd in the arena vanished. Only Canaith and Meara remained. She ran and embraced him, though she could not explain exactly why. He gently pulled away and looked her in the eyes.

“Why did we win, Meara?” he asked.

“You did not give up!” she exclaimed. “You were not afraid. You believed in me.”

Canaith shook his head. “Close,” he said. “I believed in us, and from my resolve you chose to believe in us, too.”

---

As Meara walked with her cohort to an assembly that was scheduled before dinner, Meara decided to practice something. She considered her relationship to those in her cohort, and tried to find the context that defined who she was when she was with them.

She was connected to her cohort by more than just her past experiences. She was connected to them by age, by birthplace, and by the experiences they were sharing right now. They had survived the attack on Destiny’s Child together. They were becoming adults together. It was up to her to decide which of these affinities defined her real world and which ones she could let go.

Though new to this, she saw already that by considering her own choice in perceiving her associations she was no longer a passive watcher of her own life. She had started smiling more. She had started engaging others more. She had started looking at the present more than the past.

“What has Canaith done to me?” she thought. It made her smile. She was very grateful.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Day Two’s Final Session

As Meara readied herself for today’s final scheduled session, she found herself feeling a pang of sadness when she saw that only one more session remained after this one. It felt to Meara like she was getting to the end of a book that she had so enjoyed that she was sad to see it over.

“Stop it, Meara.” she thought. “It is not the last day yet.”

As she lay down, she did not bother wondering what the next session would be. Whatever it was, she trusted Canaith. Her mind was ready to receive whatever gift this next session would be.

When she joined the session, she found herself standing on a hill under a golden sky. The skyline was filled with giant Amarr buildings that had the telltale half-dome curves of traditional Amarr architecture. The top of each building ended in a spire pointing directly upwards.

Farther up the hill, she saw Canaith standing at the foot of the statue of a priest. Smaller statues of men in traditional robes were crafted into a mosaic that depicted a cityscape. Canaith was dressed in as typical an Amarrian fashion as one could imagine. Meara concocted a similar look for her avatar and moved to join him at the base of the statue.

“Since you are on a pilgrimage,” he said, “I thought we would visit the Amarr home world.” He made a grand gesture with his arm. “Welcome to Amarr.”

Meara looked more closely at the buildings in the distance. The city seemed to go on forever. It looked nothing like the colony from which she came.

Meara watched Canaith as he gazed at the cityscape, and it struck her how much attention he had given to the sessions he had crafted for her. It was more attention than Meara would have ever expected from anyone, and yet here it was. For the first time, she felt just a tinge of fear, a small concern that there might be some game being played of which she was unaware. It all seemed too good to be true.

“Would it be alright,” she said, “to turn your emotion AI back on?”

He looked at her. “Oh?”

“I have found myself missing it,” she said, looking down. She admitted to herself that this was a small lie. What she really wanted was some reassurance to chase her silly doubt away.

“As you wish,” he said. A few moments later, she felt a wave of pleased.

They started walking, and Meara realized they were at a landmark or monument of some kind. The walkway they were on was a stone trail that led to several statues depicting famous people and events. She kept expecting Canaith’s lesson to start, but after several minutes Canaith had said little.

They came to a bench, and though their digital legs were not tired, Canaith gestured an invitation for Meara to sit, and so she did. Canaith joined her.

“Do you have any questions resulting from our sessions this morning?” he asked, sending curious.

“I do have a question,” she said. “When you were injured in our battle, I thought we had lost. How did you know that we would win?” She sent interested.

“I did not know that we would win,” he replied. “I was confident only that we would fulfill our purpose.” She received resolve.

Meara sent confused. “Was not our purpose to win the fight?”

Canaith sent amused. “No! Our purpose was to help you learn to choose who you are.”

Meara sent enlightened surprise. “Were you teaching me to earn your trust instead of the crowd’s?”

Meara sensed frustrated from Canaith, but he said nothing. She thought back on the words Canaith had spoken after the battle had been won. “When the fight was over, you said that you believed in ‘us’.”

Now she sensed encouraged.

“I do not seek to teach you to gain confidence in yourself,” he said, “nor would I teach you to earn it from others. I seek to show you how to place confidence in something greater.”

“Something like our partnership in the arena?” she asked him.

“That, Dearest Meara, was a game.” he answered, sending fondness. “The allegiance you choose in life will be far greater than that.”

First, she was staggered by the term ‘Dearest Meara’. He had turned her name into a sweet sound. Her family had always used it as a curse. Then she felt the sincerity of his fondness for her, and the silly concern about his motives disappeared. Finally, having collected herself, she considered his words.

“Allegiance?” she said, sending surprised. “Is all of this about choosing allies?”

“It is about choosing an allegiance to a guiding light.” he said, sending gravity. “It is about allying oneself to a path.”

“Why must you choose a path?” she asked. “Why not trust yourself?”

Canaith emanated fear. It startled Meara in its intensity.

“That is by far the most popular allegiance,” he said softly. “It is also the most foolish. Each of us are capable of such evil.”

Meara considered his words, and then replied, “Evil like ‘gankers’?” She sent concerned.

Meara felt a wave of emotional wrappers from Canaith. It was a mix of loathing, fear, and intense frustration. She knew these emotions were not directed at her, however, because she also detected deep concern for her that was somehow connected to her question.

Canaith was looking at her intently. “Explain.”

Meara told him about the attack on Destiny’s Child.

“Those who attacked you,” he said when her story was told, “are wraiths. Their allegiance is only to themselves, and they revel in their folly.” He sent disgust.

“Wraiths?” she asked him. “That is a terrifying image.”

“They are already dead.” he said. “They seek to live but have lost the ability to perceive the living. They haunt New Eden, and to me they are worse than any heretic.” He sent a strong emotion like convinced, and Meara knew that on this topic there would ever be no change in him.

“Why then,” she asked, “are they not stopped?” She sent confused.

“That, I fear, is an important question.” he said. “Maybe one day we will know its answer.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Meara felt it odd that their session had not ended. She found herself hoping that Canaith and her were both reluctant to let the session end. After this session ended, there was only one more to come.

“Thank you,” she said, sending warm appreciation.

“For what, Dearest Meara.” he answered. He apparently used that name out of fondness for her, because that was the wrapper that she received from him again. She wrapped herself in it.

“For teaching me what I missed from the seminar.”

“Oh,” he said. “I do not know if I did that.”

She looked at him and sent bewildered.

Looking at her with a smile, he said “I have never attended that seminar.” He sent mischievous.

They both laughed.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Bureaucratic Corrections

As the morning assembly was ending, Meara received a notification from the ‘jewelry’ she had been given by Strange Man. After some fiddling around, she discovered a slider and a button on her earpiece that interacted with its software. She saw information from the device along the right side of her normal vision.

When she acknowledged the message receipt, she found herself in an audio conversation.

“This is Meara Natinde, correct?”

Meara recognized the voice. It was Strange Man.

“It is.” she acknowledged.

“Someone is being sent to escort you to a conference room. There were some… um… irregularities in your processing and I have been instructed to, um…”

“…follow the documented process guidelines?” Meara interjected sarcastically, remembering Strange Man’s argument with Friendly Counselor.

“Yes,” he answered flatly. “Our meeting is in thirty minutes.”

---

Meara was seated at a table across from Strange Man and Friendly Counselor. Master Korash was seated beside her. A busy woman Meara had never seen sat at the head of the table.

“Alright,” Busy Lady said. “It is time to begin.”

Scary Man and Friendly Counselor looked to Meara like children sent to her school’s headmaster for discipline. They both had their hands in the laps and were looking straight ahead.

“Meara Natinde,” Busy Lady said, I am Rori Natamisa. I am here representing you in a complaint that was brought forward by an anonymous accuser.

Meara’s eyes grew wide.

“Excuse me, Meara.” Busy Lady said gently. “The complaint is not against you. It is against them.” Her gesture indicated the other side of the table where Strange Man and Friendly Counselor were seated.

Strange Man and Friendly Counselor looked down at their laps. Meara thought they looked like they wanted to be invisible.

Busy Lady continued, “They have been counseled and are instructed to fulfill their obligations, by the numbers. So please do get started.” She looked sternly at Strange Man.

Strange Man looked up.

“Meara Natinde, it is my pleasure to inform you that a DNA test conducted during your pilgrimage has flagged you as a candidate for Capsuleer pre-screening. This testing is mandatory and will be conducted as a substitution for your standard program.”

Friendly Counselor placed a decorative box on the table, which Meara recognized as the box to her original VR circlet. “In case you wish to continue your program, we are providing you with lifetime access to all training sessions. You may access them at any time.”

Strange Man cleared his throat and said, “The pre-screening test is invasive and often painful. To ease the pain of the test and to prepare your brain for the installation of temporary hardware, you will be given certain medications before testing begins. The hardware to be installed is similar to implant technology, but far less invasive.”

Both Strange Man and Friendly Counselor looked up like they were waiting for something.

“Continue,” said Busy Lady.

Strange Man said, “Your test results have concluded that your candidacy is worthy of a review. Included in your candidacy kit is a VR circlet that is connected to a private network for interviews and a personal communications device that is connected to a temporary account we will use to contact you. Use of these devices for personal use is not permitted.”

Strange Man looked at Friendly Counselor.

Friendly Counselor looked at Meara and said, “Congratulations, Meara. Your pre-screening scores were high enough to initiate a special scholarship program for lower-class Capsuleer candidates. Your application is being submitted to potential sponsors who will be scheduling interviews during time slots that should closely align with your normal seminar calendar. We hope that this will permit you to continue to enjoy your pilgrimage with your classmates."

There was another pause.

Busy Lady cleared her throat.

Strange Man pressed a button on his earpiece, and Meara saw a notification from her Personal Comms Device (PCD). It was from Strange Man. She looked at Strange Man as she answered the call.

“Meara Natinde," he said, and the duplication of his voice in her earpiece and the room caused an odd echo. "I am calling to inform you that your Candidate Review Board has been scheduled. You will find it in the personal calendar of your PCD. We will send an official escort twenty minutes before the appointed time.”

Strange Man, looking rather sheepish, disconnected the call.

Friendly Counselor took that as a cue and said, “I noticed that you have your first Sponsorship Interview and would like to make myself available to answer any of your questions.”

There was a pause until Busy Lady said, “Meara, do you have any questions about your first interview?”

Meara shook her head.

“Good.” Busy Lady said. “Now that all the procedures have been correctly followed, would you like to say anything at all, Meara?”

Meara sat still with her mouth hanging open. At first, her customary fear made her shy and she decided to say nothing while constructing the correct posture in her Imperial Face. Then she remembered Canaith’s words:

Your Imperial Face is a tool, Meara. Do not cower behind it.

In her mind, she felt herself stand up. She dismissed the timid child and gave control to the person she had being growing into over the last several days.

“Is this meeting being recorded?” Meara asked, without any timidity at all.

“Of course.” answered Busy Lady.

Meara stood up and bent in a polite bow.

“I wish to apologize for my contribution to any poor communication in this process,” she said, in a strong, adult voice.

Then, looking at Strange Man, “I remember that you had very little confidence that my test would lead anywhere, and I am sure that my timidity did nothing to alleviate your doubts. I also remember that you were quite busy, having to deal with a multitude of interruptions. Thank you for all that you have done for me in spite of those doubts. I appreciate your dedication to your purpose.”

Strange man gaped, then stood and bowed back to Meara.

Meara stood straight, turned, and then bowed again to Friendly Counselor. “I wish to apologize for my emotional behavior after my pre-screening test. My undisciplined outburst was impolite and an unexpected problem that interfered with your ability to perform your duties. You were gracious in your attendance to my distress, though I am sure that such an impolite display on my part made any future communication with me seem quite laborious.”

Friendly Counselor gaped, then stood and bowed back to Meara.

“Very well, then.” said Busy Lady. “Your Candidate Review Board is tomorrow morning. The gears on that are turning and it would be impossible to reschedule at this point. This is certainly a lot to throw at you all at once, but if you really are Capsuleer material, I am sure you can handle it.”

Meara found herself nodding in a polite acknowledgement. “This pilgrimage has offered no shortage of adventures.”

Busy Lady smiled, and the meeting was adjourned.

---

Meara walked into her room, her mind buzzing as she put together all the pieces of information she had received. She saw that she had just a few minutes until her last session with Canaith, and she did not feel prepared to talk to him. What was she supposed to say?

That’s when she saw an envelope attached to the door of her locker. On the front, it said “Message from Home”. Inside the envelope was a digital card that allowed her to access a message that was sent the day after she had left Sadel. She had been in Jerma when this was sent, and that seemed like a lifetime ago. She used her thumbprint to access the message.

Meara,

We found an engagement for you. Contract signed. Agent will pick you up after pilgrimage, so do not come home.

There was no signature.

Meara sat down heavily on her bed. She did not know which part of her future to start chewing on first. She was both a Capsuleer candidate and a contracted bride, and apparently had been both for several days. “It would have been nice had someone told me.” she thought, and then just laughed at her crazy situation.

She only knew one person in the whole universe who could talk her through the craziness, and she was late for their last scheduled session.

[Canaith_Lydian]

The Whole Truth

When the session started, Meara found herself seated back at the Observation deck. It seemed fitting to Meara that Canaith would have chosen this place. He was dressed casually, so she changed her avatar’s appearance to the same. She noticed that Canaith had turned his emotion AI off.

When he saw her, he stood and bowed a greeting. “I was afraid you were not coming.”

Meara took a step towards her chair, but then stopped. “I was told about my candidacy. I know that my Review Board is tomorrow.”

Canaith motioned to her usual chair. “I am glad that they finally told you.”

Meara took her seat and looked up with concerned eyes. “Why did you not tell me?” she asked.

“It was not my place.” he said. “My role in your candidacy is delicate and there are many rules. A false step from me could have harmed your future.”

“And what role is that?” she asked.

“I am a potential sponsor.” he answered. “If I were to become your sponsor, the financing of your training would fall on me, as would the financial risk of failure.”

“And the purpose of the interviews?” she asked.

“They are intended,” he answered, “to give you a chance to win over a sponsor.”

Meara just looked at Canaith, obviously confused.

“During our second session, it became obvious that something in your candidacy was irregular.” he said. “I feared that there was a manipulation in play and decided that I would try to protect you while your situation was investigated.”

“You are the anonymous accuser?” she asked. “You brought the complaint to the Training Center?”

“Indirectly, yes.” he answered.

“How did the sessions protect me?” she asked.

“They filled your calendar.” he said, smiling. “So long as you were meeting me, other sponsors could not interview you. If any inspectors had questions as to why, I could truthfully say that you permitted further interviews.”

“I do not understand,” she said, standing and walking to the observation window. “You kept other sponsors from me. That is protecting me?”

Canaith stood, because it would have been impolite to remain seated, but he gave Meara her space.

“Candidates in your position, Meara, are easily manipulated.” He gave her a few seconds to think about what he said. “Becoming a Capsuleer is not as wonderful as we have been led to believe, but it offers station and means that can easily tempt the underprivileged. There are people who would have sought to turn you into a Wraith.” He moved to stand by her at the window. “I could not let them.”

Meara remembered Canaith’s emotional reaction to her mention of pirate Capsuleers. She could understand his desire to keep her from that path. There was a flash of defensiveness in her when she considered that Canaith thought her capable of evil, but she dismissed that anger when she remembered what he had said about the danger of self-confidence. She did not know the world of the Capsuleer, and she did not know its temptations.

She wanted to be angry at Canaith, but could at least be honest with herself about the reason why. She had enjoyed their time together more when it had seemed honest and pure. The world Canaith had crafted for her had been free of judgment, abuse, and manipulation. It had felt so real… so honest. Now she realized that it had all been an illusion constructed to keep a child busy while the grown-ups handled things. She felt ashamed.

“What are you feeling, Meara?” he asked her.

“I miss yesterday,” she said. “It felt so real.” She looked up at him and was embarrassed to look him in the eyes. She remembered all that she had shared of herself. He knew her past, her weaknesses, her foolishness…

“I feel so silly.” she said.

Canaith walked over and took her hands into his. “Ready yourself,” he said.

She sensed a change in the room and realized that Canaith had just activated his Emotion AI. At first, she was worried that he had done this so that she could send her emotions to him, but then she felt the first wave of emanations he was sending to her.

PAINFUL LONELINESS…

An idea… “perhaps a companion could be found”.

A memory showing a system that includes a description of Meara’s candidacy, her background, an assessment of her chances of success that did not look good.

Helpfulness… Insecurity…

A conversation with a sister who encourages…

Hope…

The first interview with Meara.

Curiosity…

His assistance with her use of the environment. Emotional Wrappers. Avatars.

Fun… enjoyment…

Her attempt to send an insincere emotion…

Concern… insecurity… Disappointment…

She apologizes.

Relief… forgiveness… hope.

She agrees to meet with him again.

Hopeful Anticipation…

Their second meeting.

She spins around in her dress to say hello…

Delight… enjoyment…

His realization that she does not know she is a Capsuleer candidate.

Fear… Concern… Anger…

She mentions missing the seminar.

Protectiveness… Hope… Pleading…

She agrees to have him fill her calendar.

Relief… Hope… Anticipation…

There was a pause, then a steady stream of mental pictures of the times she and Canaith had spent together.

fondness… concern…

Fondness… worry…

Fondness… fear…

ADORATION… Grave Concern

As his fondness for her had grown, so had his concern and fear that the system was trying to harm her.

She saw a contrast in Canaith’s perception between the girl he had come to adore in these sessions and the heartless Capsuleer she could become.

…RAGE…

Then things calmed as she saw his memory of the awkward silence from their last session. She had dared to hope that Canaith did not want their time together to end.

Bittersweetness… gratefulness… RESOLVE…

He says ‘Dearest Meara’…

She felt the wrapper that he had sent. It was fondness. Then came a wave of emotions that he had not sent. It was so intense a stream of his adoring affection for her that it brought her straight to tears. It was such personal fondness that the only word Meara had to describe it was “love”.

---

Meara found herself back in her room, the session ended. Her head was a sea of emotions, many of them Canaith’s and not hers. As she sorted her thoughts, the strongest emotion that remained was intense gratitude. Canaith had exposed himself to her so she would recover from her shame. According to social custom, he had just shamed himself for her sake.

She sat up and wiped away her tears, deciding in that moment that she would not waste his gift, no matter what happened.

She would choose to be the person that she had been when seen through Canaith’s eyes.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Deranged Marriage

The pilgrimage was approaching its end, and the common area of Meara’s Dormitory was buzzing with activity. Many of the girls in her cohort who were not returning to Sadel were meeting their escorts, making travel plans, and saying their goodbyes. There was a special prayer service and meal served at lunchtime that felt more celebratory than sad, though there was a bittersweet mood that passed through the room that left tears in most everyone’s eyes. It was polite to show emotion at a long parting.

When the luncheon was concluded and everyone was dismissed, Meara sought Master Korash to seek his advice on how to conduct herself before tomorrow morning’s Review Board. After several minutes of searching, goodbye hugs, and well-wishes, she finally saw him near the entrance to the common area of the dormitory. He was involved in what appeared to be a heated exchange with a Scary Man. The man was dressed in a roguish fashion and was breaking all social convention by poking his finger into Master Korash’s chest.

A girl named Harwi ran up to Meara, pointing at the scene. She said, “That man is arguing with our Master about you!”

The potential violence of the scene had created what onlookers hoped was a safe distance from the two men, and this resulted in a rather compressed crowd around the entrance to the Dormitory. As Meara approached the edge of the crowd, she was grabbed by the arm from within the throng and pulled into it. While onlookers were distracted by the dramatic disagreement, two men moved Meara along, each man holding her by a shoulder with both hands.

“Meara Natinde,” one of them chimed as they moved quickly through the dormitory entrance, “we’ve been sent to escort ya to an important meetin’. We are very late. Please hurry.”

Meara tried to slow their pace but found herself unable. She managed to ask, “What meeting?”, but a new wave of shouts from behind her drowned out her voice.

Once Meara and her two “escorts” cleared the crowd and made it out to the Training Center’s lobby, a man whose attire suggested he was of a professional caste rushed up with a relieved look on his face. “Oh, it is her at last.” he said. “If we hurry, we can still make it.”

Meara had no idea what was happening and was still trying to ask questions when she was whisked out the front entrance of the Training Center and into the back of an awaiting cargo shuttle. At home, they would have called this a ‘van’, only theirs would have had more dents and likely travelled on wheels.

Her escorts jumped in behind her while the Professional Man closed the doors. She was grabbed roughly and slammed against the wall while her hands were secured behind her back. As she looked to the right toward the front of the vehicle, she saw a handful of girls approximately her own age crammed together on a bench that ran front to back in the cargo space they all occupied.

One of the girls shouted, “Meara!” and was immediately slapped across the face by an angry Caldari woman who looked like she had years of chem use as her crowning achievement. Chem Lady laughed and said, “I told ya’s to keep it shut and I mint it!”

Meara recognized the slapped girl. She had supposedly been sent to fulfill an arranged family contract today. That’s when Meara connected the dots. Her family had contracted her to an “engagement”, too. This was her engagement?

She was about to scream when she remembered again what Canaith had said.

Your Imperial Face is a tool, Meara. Do not cower behind it.

She crafted the face that her captors expected to see. In her mind, she used an emotional wrapper to send fear and hopelessness into her expression. In the real world, however, she did not have to be sincere. Mear Natinde was not afraid, nor did she feel hopeless. She was angry.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Enroute to the Pleasure Garden

Meara opened her eyes and found herself on the floor of a room that was about 8 meters long and only 2 meters wide. The walls, ceiling, and floors were constructed from a series of connected prefabricated panels. One of the panels had a door. All of the ceiling panels had bright lights. There was no furniture. Nine unconscious women were scattered about on the floor. The smell of urine and sweat permeated everything.

Meara did not remember anything that happened after Chem Girl slapped Kaysi. She assumed that she had been struck or drugged or something.

She moved to the nearest girl and gave her a shake. The girl was breathing and out cold. Meara went to each of the other girls one by one. They seemed fine, but she could not wake any of them.

There was a rumbling sound and a vibration that ran through the entire room, which was followed by the sound of a distant explosion.

“No,” Meara said, “not an explosion. That’s the sound of a ship entering warp.”

She moved quickly to the door. The door was supposed to open into the room. She tried the handle, but it proved to be locked. The fit of the door was imperfect in the prefabricated panel, though, and she was able to push it out a little bit to make a space through which she could see beyond. It made a creaking sound, but there were a lot of competing squeaks and moans from the rest of the ship.

The hallway was made of the same panels as the room she was in. She could barely make out another door across the hall. To the right of her door, maybe a handful of meters away, the hallway opened into a space.

Meara raised a hand to her earpiece but found it missing. Then she tried to find her tracker but found that she was not wearing the tunic anymore.

Meara sighed heavily and slumped against a panel by the door. In frustration, she struck the wall behind her head a few times. It was pointless, she knew, but…

“Hey,” came a shout from down the hallway. There was a thud and the sound of broken glass, and then the sound of furniture being scooted across the floor. Meara stood up and tried to peek through the gap in the door.

Chem Lady was staggering down the hallway, steadying herself by placing her hand against a wall.

“What’s goin’ on back ere?” she slurred. “It ain’t time for nun of ya’s to be awake yet.”

There was another vibration that ran through the ship, and it seemed enough to confuse Chem Lady. When the vibration passed, a croaky voice filled the hallway. “Who’s awake? Where are ya?”

Other than Chem Lady, it did not seem that anyone else was nearby. At least, Chem Lady seemed to be alone.

“Help…” Meara cried, doing her best to sound afraid and helpless. “I do not know where I am…”

Chem Lady staggered down the hall and stood outside the door. There was a deep click in the door, and the handle turned.

Forward and back, Meara thought.

She pushed her weight against the door, just trying to make it appear stuck, until she felt the telltale bumb, bump, BUMP as Chem Lady tried to push it open. That’s when Meara pulled hard. The door swung open with Chem Lady’s left hand attached to it. There was some kind of stubby gun in her right hand.

Meara leapt forward, planting her left foot against the wall. Then she grabbed Chem Lady’s clothing on the left shoulder and PULLED.

Chem Lady lost her balance and tumbled headlong into the room. She fell flat on her face and seemed to be trying to figure out how she had ended up down there.

Now knowing what else to do, Meara jumped onto Chem Lady’s back, landing on her knees. Chem Lady let out an “Umph” sound and tried to get her arms under her. Meara tried to take the pistol, but Chem Lady had a death grip on it. So, Meara just jumped onto Chem Lady’s back again.

Meara had watched a lot of action vids. The bad guys were always tough and usually fought to the bitter end. This was not what happened with Chem Lady, who started crying in bitter wails.

“Give me the gun!” Meara shouted, and Chem Lady let go of the pistol. Meara picked it up and aimed it at Chem Lady’s right ear.

“I didn’t mean nuthin’!” the hag shrieked. “I didn’t mean it!”

“Quiet!” Meara said.

Chem Lady tried to calm herself and said, “You ain’t supposed to be awake yet.”

“They gave me the ‘good stuff’” Meara replied. “What did you give us to make us sleep?”

Chem Lady made a couple of head jerks that Meara took to mean the gun that she held in her hand. It had a trigger, so Meara aimed at Chem Lady’s neck and pulled it.

There was a hiss, a whine, and then silence.

Meara checked Chem Lady and saw that she was breathing, but out cold.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Damsel in Distress

Meara dashed into the hallway and into the open area. She found a very messy compartment littered with broken bottles and empty chem boxes. There was a small ladder in the center of the compartment that led up to an open hatch. A workstation that had seen better days was against the left wall.

There was a final vibration and then quiet. Meara guessed the ship had come out of warp. The sound of boots on a metallic floor came from above, so she dashed back into the hallway.

“Starch,” a male voice shouted through the hatch, “we’ll be there in a few, but you just stay outta sight. Dagger has about had it with ya. No peep from you!” Then there was silence.

Meara climbed up the ladder and poked her head up. What she saw above appeared to be of better construction than the area below. She saw an illuminated sign above the hatch that said Cargo Container A4.

Meara decided to be brave. It had worked for her so far. She crept as quietly as she could through a small set of hallways, through the nastiest eating space she had ever seen, and finally found herself looking at a ladder with a sign that read “Bridge”. She stepped up just enough steps to poke her head up over another hatch.

Inside the bridge were the two goons who had led Meara out of the Dormitory and the Scary Man who had been arguing with her School Master. Two other men that she had not seen were there, too. They did not seem to be working very hard and were instead laughing at each other’s very crude stories.

Behind them, Meara saw a forward viewscreen that showed what was in front of the ship that was overlaid with a number of display screens. In view was a cluster of large structures that looked to Meara like domes. Several ships were patrolling between the domes.

As Meara watched, a stream of purple light streaked from somewhere behind their ship. One stream of light hit one of the patrolling vessels and then another, after which there was a bloom of light as the ship was destroyed. Meara watched another vessel meet its end before one of the crewmembers noticed.

“The compound iz unda attack!” he yelled.

Scary Man stepped to a station and turned a knob that changed the view to look behind the ship instead of forward. In the distance was this tiny spec of a ship that was moving towards them quickly. Scary Man adjusted something and zoomed in.

The ship was not as tiny as it had appeared. It looked like a giant bat, only the wings were vertical instead of horizontal. Plumes of light emitted behind it as it streaked towards them, or maybe the structures beyond them.

“Izza bloody Nightmare!” one of the crew shouted. It took Meara a few seconds to realize he was naming the type of ship that was attacking instead of lamenting his circumstance.

“It’s got us yellow-boxed!” bellowed another.

“Jettison the cargo!” shouted Scary Man. “If those girls don’t make it to the Garden, the Kruul will have our hides!”

“Screw the girls! I’m getting my ass to an escape pod.”

“Jettison cargo first, THEN escape pods!”

Meara scrambled down the ladder, ran through the crusty kitchen, and moved as quickly as she could back down the hatch where she had started, all the while hoping that she had understood what she had heard.

Just as she landed in the cargo area, the hatch flopped itself closed and she heard a WHOOSH…

As the cargo container left the ship, gravity shifted. Meara was thrown against something hard and lost consciousness.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Rescued

Meara had a series of disjointed memories of uniformed soldiers, being transported by EMT’s, comforting voices, and, finally, waking to find herself in a medical bay with someone flashing a light into her eyes. As her mind started to clear, she could hear the rumble of a ship in warp.

She heard a voice that sounded like it was coming through a communicator, “Status check on the DiD.”

The tech that had been shining the light in her eyes answered, “Damsel in Distress is fine. Looks like she had a minor concussion, but she has some serious nano-bots that are doing a better job of fixing her up than anything I could do. DiD status green.” He smiled at her.

“The good stuff…” Meara said.

“Is she mobile? Can she walk?” the voice asked.

“Roger.” the tech answered. “She could probably carry me.” He smiled again.

“Have her escorted to a wardroom.” the voice said, then, “The nice one.”

“Roger.” the tech answered.

“Well, well…” he said to Meara. “It looks like we have ourselves a real VIP. Welcome to ‘Your Worst Nightmare’.” It took Meara a few seconds to realize that he was talking about the name of the ship and not her circumstances.

Meara was helped off her bed, but she discovered she was quite able to stand and walk on her own. The tech gestured for her to follow him, and she was led through the bay. Several of the beds were occupied by the other 9 women that had been taken captive with her. Other beds were occupied by pirates and watched closely by armed guards.

On one of the beds, Meara saw Chem Lady. She was wearing both Meara’s tunic and her PCD. Meara removed the earpiece from Chem Lady’s ear, wiped it off, and put it on her own.

The tech raised an eyebrow.

“This is mine.” Meara said.

The ship was enormous, immaculate, and crewed by what Meara supposed were hundreds, if not thousands, of crew members. The interior was not styled in a way you would have expected an Amarr vessel to be styled, but it was crewed by a mostly Amarr crew. The med tech noticed Meara’s interest, so he took his time, letting her gawk at everything.

The most exciting part of her tour was when they traveled up in a clear elevator that let her view several decks of the ship at the same time. The ship was simply enormous and strangely beautiful.

Finally, they entered a very large bedroom that the tech called a wardroom, which, by Meara’s standards, was enormous.

“There is a dry shower in the head, Ma’am,” the tech said, pointing. “I expect you will want to use that.”

Meara saw nice clothes laid out on the bed. There was food on a table in the center of the room.

The med tech left her room without saying another word, and the door slid closed.

The shower was amazing, and after a few minutes she felt like a new person. The food was good, spicy, and filling. The clothes were a uniform that looked like what she had seen most of the crew wearing. She looked at herself in the mirror and laughed. Her hair was a mess, but there was a brush on a vanity that she used to manage it.

She heard a pleasant chime that repeated every few seconds. She looked around the room, and, seeing nothing, said “Hello?”

“Meara Natinde…” a digitized voice said, “you have a meeting request from… Captain Lydian… for one eight zero zero hours. Do you accept the request?”

It was a digital assistant.

“I accept,” she said.

“Appointment with… Captain Lydian… for one eight zero zero hours is confirmed.”

“What time is it now?” she asked.

“The current time is… one six three eight hours.”

“Set alarm for one seven four five hours.” she said.

“Alarm set for one seven four five hours.”

Meara slipped off her boots and jacket and collapsed into the bed. She was asleep within a few seconds.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Face to Face

Meara woke to a gentle chime at precisely 1745. The chime stopped automatically when she sat up. Precisely ten minutes later, there was a gentle knock on her door.

“Come in,” Meara said.

The door slid open, and a dignified looking, middle-aged man entered the wardroom.

“Captain Lydian?” Meara asked.

“Oh, no, Ma’am.” he replied. “You may call me Adross. I am the ship’s Operations Manager. I am here to escort you to Captain Lydian.”

“Thank you,” she answered.

Adross smiled. “My pleasure.” He gestured out the door, and Meara exited. Not 3 meters away from her wardroom door, there was a rather prominent, reinforced set of double doors. Above the doors there was a sign that read “Capsule Access”.

Adross approached the doors and entered a code into a panel on the wall. There was a clank from somewhere beyond the doors, and they began to open slowly.

Meara looked at Adross, though his attention was on the doors. “Captain Lydian is a Capsuleer?” she asked.

“Oh, yes.” Adross answered, his eyes glued to the doors that were about half-way open. Then he gave her a quick, mischievous look and whispered, “This is very exciting. Nobody on board has ever actually seen Captain Lydian.”

The doors opened to reveal a very stately room with a nice conference table. It was smaller than Meara’s wardroom, but it looked like a room where important things happened. On the far wall, maybe 4 meters away, there was what appeared to be an airlock of some kind, or a hatch into another, smaller ship.

“Thank you, Adross.” came a voice from somewhere inside the room. “That will be all.”

Adross sighed, looked disappointed, did an about face, and marched away from the doors.

“Come in,” she heard, and so she did. The doors behind her started their slow descent into a closed position.

A man was standing with his back to her, pouring wine into two glasses. He picked up the glasses and turned around. Meara could not believe her eyes. Standing before her, in the flesh, was Canaith. Except for his uniform, he looked just like his avatar in the VR Sessions.

“I am so glad you are alright, Dearest Meara.” he said, smiling.

Meara felt her breath escape from her lungs. Her eyes watered immediately, and she steadied herself on the conference table.

“How?” she asked, her breath coming in gulps of air as she fought to control her emotions.

“Your location tracker.” he answered. “It helped the authorities know the ship to which you had been taken, though the ship had already left the station by the time they thought to look. Tracking the ship was not too difficult.”

“No,” Meara said. “How are you here? How is this happening?”

“When I learned what happened,” he said, “I jumped to a clone in Penirgman.”

“You came for me, all the way from where, Providence?” she asked, a tremor in her voice.

"Meara Natinde,” he said. “Why would you think that for you I would do anything less?”

He handed her a glass of wine, but she put it down on the table. She took his empty hand into both of hers and brought it to her cheek.

“Canaith Lydian,” she said, saying his whole name for the first time, “I thank you… so much. I thank you.”

“I am glad you are safe,” he said back to her.

“No…” she said, looking at him. “Not just for this,” she said, gesturing to the ship. “Thank you for everything.”

[Canaith_Lydian]

Last Chance

Early the next morning, Meara was getting dressed for her Candidacy Review Board. She was still aboard Canaith’s ship, Your Worst Nightmare, which Canaith had asked her to use as a home until the investigation into her ‘family obligation’ could be completed. She had spent hours last night talking to a handful of lawyers and Krysta Lydian, Canaith’s sister, who were setting up a variety of Trusts and contracts to use as evidence of the financial stake needed to support Meara’s education and Capsuleer training. There was so much in motion in the legalities that Meara did not understand.

“You will just have to trust me,” Krysta had said at one point. “And fear not, for I think my brother would disown me were anything to be found out of place.” Meara had not been able to tell if she was joking.

Meara’s digital assistant started its pleasant chiming.

“Yes?” Meara asked.

“You have an incoming call from… Captain Lydian. Do you want to accept the call?”

“Yes,” Meara said.

A hologram of Canaith appeared on the table in the center of her wardroom.

“Good morning, Canaith.” Meara said. “I know what you wish to talk about, but my answer will not change.”

They had talked at great length about the decision she was making. He had tried to warn her of the downsides of becoming a Capsuleer.

“I still struggle to understand your stubbornness on this.” he said. “Why are you so sure that this decision will best serve you?”

Meara turned to face the projector so that Canaith could see her face. She could not send emotional wrappers, so her expression would have to do.

“Canaith Lydian,” she said, in a playfully formal tone. “Why would I make such a big decision if I thought that it would only serve myself? I am seeking an allegiance to something greater.”

Canaith looked at her suspiciously.

“I am choosing an allegiance to a guiding light.” she continued. “I am allying myself to a path.”

“Meara Natinde,” he said, matching her playfulness. “Are you mocking me?”

Meara’s expression changed. Her playfulness was replaced with sincerity. “No, I am not.”

“Then to what have you set your allegiance?” he asked.

“Canaith, my allegiance is set to my guiding light. And my guiding light, Canaith, is you.”

Canaith bowed his head. His expression indicated that he was concerned about her answer. “I fear you may be mistaken about me, Meara. I fear the call of the wraith. I fear a future in which I lead you down that path. I do not know if I am worthy of your confidence.”

Meara’s look was triumphant. She practically glowed. “My confidence is not in you, Dear Canaith. It is in us.”

Canaith looked up and set his eyes on hers. Even through the holographic projector she could sense his sincerity. “You have grown much since I have met you, Meara Natinde. You have become quite formidable.”

“My Dearest Canaith,” she said. “I have had a most excellent teacher.”

[Canaith_Lydian]

Candidate Review Board

The Candidate Review Board itself was an overly formal and bureaucratic event full of big speeches and hot air, though in the end, at least decisions were made.

Canaith Lydian had a set up financial trust with enough ISK in it to cover all foreseen expenses related to Meara’s education, physical training, and medical costs. These expenses were not recoverable, which meant if Meara failed at any point in the process, Canaith still had to pay. The number of zeroes had made Meara dizzy.

Meara had been asked to speak to the question of her commitment to the process and her understanding of the risks. Canaith’s representative had been asked to speak to the question of why Canaith was willing to take such a chance on someone as unproven as Meara Natinde. Both her answer and his had been the prepared, politically correct answer. The answers checked the squares, and so the board was happy.

In truth, Canaith and Meara’s real answers, the ones they would never speak in public, were both the same. He was willing to risk much for the sake of her, and she was willing to risk much for the sake of him.

Due to the potentially illegal conduct of Meara’s family in entering her into a contract with sex traffickers, the Lydian family made Meara their ward. She was given legal status with many of the rights she would have had if she had been born into that family. Meara’s own family was the subject of a legal inquiry along with several other families from Sadel, but Meara had never cared to see if her mother had been found guilty of a crime. To Meara, it had all been a part of her Destiny, and God had used it for a purpose.

She attended Hedion University and was afforded a small army of tutors and trainers. By the time she graduated, not only did she possess the advanced degrees needed to qualify as a Capsuleer, but she had become quite an athlete, too. She was tested, retested, poked and prodded, and in the end passed every scrutiny with flying colors.

Throughout all of it, Canaith had communicated with her almost every day, though she rarely saw him in person. He did attend the ritual of her first death in person. He had held her hand as she died, and his was the first face she saw from her first clone.

She had signed an agreement to serve as Canaith’s Assisting Lieutenant (ALT) for five years. That date had come and gone, and nothing in their relationship had changed.

She intended to serve Canaith forever, which is a statement one can take literally when one is a Capsuleer.

[Canaith_Lydian]

Prologue – Current Day

Canaith’s day in Auga had been long, and Meara knew that he was weary. When his ship docked in Kourmonen and he signaled that he was planning to rest, Meara could sense the weight of his weariness. Having just remembered how they had to come to know each other, though, Meara was feeling sentimental.

“Thank you, Canaith Lydian.” she sent, wrapped in gratitude.

“For what, Meara,” he sent, “a day off from the fight?”

“No,” she sent. “For everything. Do you not know that you saved me, Canaith Lydian?” The wrapping was sentimental affection.

“Oh…" he sent. "To have done so, Meara, is the best decision I have ever made.” He wrapped his answer in affectionate appreciation.

After a pause, Meara sent, “All this time has passed, and I know so little of your story.” Interested.

There was another pause, long enough that Meara was afraid he would not answer.

“My Dearest Meara,” he finally said, wrapped in fondness… deep affection… gratitude, “do you not know by now that you are my story?”

[Canaith_Lydian]

FINALLY FINISHED!

Sorry for it’s length. Thank you if you managed to hang in there until the end.

[Cyrelle_Aurilen]

Great story mate!