What Is This Crap?

Not even 5mins in and i get kicked, same thing as before, auth won’t even launch the game now, It did the same as it did before as on the weekend when it was unavailable

And you want the Newbro forum to help? Or to join cursing?
My guess: Somewhere between the Server and your GUI there’s a problem. I had no connection problems the last days.

Maybe here you get more help: General Issues - EVE Online Forums

Moved to General Issues - EVE Online Forums

You can also open a Support Ticket to get Help with that.