Today, the Questions relate to the Cultural practice of Polygamous Marriages (and similar Arrangements).
Are such things Allowed in your Culture ? Are they Common ? How do such Arrangements Function ?
These Questions have been prompted by some People on Kaztropol asking for the Legal status of Marriage to be Reformed. Currently, a Marriage on Kaztropol is between two Persons, and gives default Legal Rights to those Persons, and any Children of those two Persons, in the absence of other Legal Arrangements that may be constructed. Legal Rights relating to Inheritance, powers of Attorney, and Others.
My Religious Advisor informs me that Scripture is Unclear on this Question, but in their Opinion, it is Impractical for Someone to have more than One Wife, because it would cause “Endless Arguments about Soft Furnishings and Interior Decoration”, a factor that I do not Fully Comprehend.
Whereas one of my Friends tells me that She would quite enjoy having Three husbands “for variety”, as long as they “Make themselves useful around the house and don’t all sit watching Sport on the Holovision and drinking all Day”, which I would tend to Agree with, as Idleness is Most Unbecoming.
I have Contemplated things and am having Difficulty in Determining how things should be Arranged in the case of Complex Relationships, such as the Example of a Marriage between 2 or more Women and 2 or more Men, with multiple Children resulting. In this Example, what Legal Rights does the child of Wife A and Husband 1 have, in legal cases involving Wife B ? Legal Rights for child B1 or B2 are Obvious, but the Rights of child A1 are Unclear to Me.
Marriage terms are as defined in the marriage contract, which will always be drawn if a formal marriage is to be arranged. (Spousal relationships between people without formal marriage are also common, but if offspring is expected or property is involved, it is better to draw a contract.)
Typical contracts define the relevant parties, sexual and romantic exclusivity or lack there-of, which clan and family any offspring will by default be considered to belong to, division of personal property, and inheritance lines of clan property. Theoretically, there are no binding rules of what you can agree on; in practice, all clans and families have ideas of what might be proper, and will not verify one that is deemed unseemly or not beneficial to the clan’s long-term interests.
To answer the actual question, yes, a formal marriage can involve more than two people (though in my own clan, it is uncommon).
Well, when you put aside social constructs, like what you mentioned, what we are left with are facts. Biology actually more supports having multiple partners to have offspring with. More offspring with varying genetic makeups (different partners) means more chances at survival as a species. We can observe this in nature.
It being seen as creepy, sick, or perverted is due to societal norms, or stigma over STI/STDs.
Really? What about killing women for not covering their hair?
Some societal norms are crazy. Just like the whole “marrying cousins is incest” in some places (it isn’t).
What is wrong with people voluntarily coming to certain arrangements? It is not my business who sleeps with whom, especially when the other party is stranger. Unless it is my own partner. For anything else - if it is voluntary why interfere?
Hence my statement ‘some societal norms’. Of course not every societal norm ever is good. But some are, like being committed to one person in a relationship and not like 574.
(Mind you, have you seem some of the hairstyles lately… maybe covering up not such a bad thing…)
I’m not advocating interference. I’m just saying I think it’s gross and icky and I don’t get why people do that. You’re allowed to have sex with every person who crosses your path and I’m allowed to think you’re a gross pervert if you do. That’s all.
In my experience this was not the case. Being committed to two people is far more similar to being committed to just one than you seem to think. Like all relationships, the people involved can establish rules and boundaries which can still be broken resulting in a loss of trust. Love and care can still exist in such a relationship regardless of social mores saying otherwise. This is particularly relevant in cases where more than one culture is represented.
It wasn’t what I had in mind when we started, but once boundaries were established it worked out well for many years. The relationship is over but ended better than others I’ve had. Oddly enough for much of the relationship I felt closer to the third party than the person I initially chose to be with. While it’s not something I’d actively seek out again, I have to admit it was probably the most stable romantic relationship I’ve ever had.
As for Synthia’s questions. It’s not something approved of in my culture but far worse things happen all the time. Legal arrangements were drawn up with the initial marriage, but I was married to an individual for whom laws mean nothing.
I feel like it’s a slipperier slope between two and five thousand than it is between one and two. If I was with someone and they wanted to do this I would be having words. I mean what’s to stop them adding a third and a fourth and so on.
Do whatever you want and justify it how you like I guess as long as everyone’s okay with it. But I’m allowed to think you’re all weird, and I do.
Finally a voice of reason on this. I was feeling very alone on this topic.
Relationships are hard work if you’re going to do them in any way properly. Dealing with one person’s quirks is enough for me. Easier to command an entire fleet of logistic ships than two partners at once.