Today, the Questions relate to the Cultural practice of Polygamous Marriages (and similar Arrangements).
Are such things Allowed in your Culture ? Are they Common ? How do such Arrangements Function ?
These Questions have been prompted by some People on Kaztropol asking for the Legal status of Marriage to be Reformed. Currently, a Marriage on Kaztropol is between two Persons, and gives default Legal Rights to those Persons, and any Children of those two Persons, in the absence of other Legal Arrangements that may be constructed. Legal Rights relating to Inheritance, powers of Attorney, and Others.
My Religious Advisor informs me that Scripture is Unclear on this Question, but in their Opinion, it is Impractical for Someone to have more than One Wife, because it would cause âEndless Arguments about Soft Furnishings and Interior Decorationâ, a factor that I do not Fully Comprehend.
Whereas one of my Friends tells me that She would quite enjoy having Three husbands âfor varietyâ, as long as they âMake themselves useful around the house and donât all sit watching Sport on the Holovision and drinking all Dayâ, which I would tend to Agree with, as Idleness is Most Unbecoming.
I have Contemplated things and am having Difficulty in Determining how things should be Arranged in the case of Complex Relationships, such as the Example of a Marriage between 2 or more Women and 2 or more Men, with multiple Children resulting. In this Example, what Legal Rights does the child of Wife A and Husband 1 have, in legal cases involving Wife B ? Legal Rights for child B1 or B2 are Obvious, but the Rights of child A1 are Unclear to Me.
Marriage terms are as defined in the marriage contract, which will always be drawn if a formal marriage is to be arranged. (Spousal relationships between people without formal marriage are also common, but if offspring is expected or property is involved, it is better to draw a contract.)
Typical contracts define the relevant parties, sexual and romantic exclusivity or lack there-of, which clan and family any offspring will by default be considered to belong to, division of personal property, and inheritance lines of clan property. Theoretically, there are no binding rules of what you can agree on; in practice, all clans and families have ideas of what might be proper, and will not verify one that is deemed unseemly or not beneficial to the clanâs long-term interests.
To answer the actual question, yes, a formal marriage can involve more than two people (though in my own clan, it is uncommon).
No, not really. People tend to use existing ones from their clans and families as a basis, or in the case of startups, to look at established clans for templates.
Well, when you put aside social constructs, like what you mentioned, what we are left with are facts. Biology actually more supports having multiple partners to have offspring with. More offspring with varying genetic makeups (different partners) means more chances at survival as a species. We can observe this in nature.
It being seen as creepy, sick, or perverted is due to societal norms, or stigma over STI/STDs.
My culture definitely recognizes polygamous marriages. Weâre usually too polite to point and go âLook! A trio!â, and way too smart to use stupid words like âthroupleâ.
Other than that bit of snark, @Elsebeth_Rhiannonâs answer applies perfectly well to my Clan, as well.
I thought we were better than animals or maybe itâs just me.
Whatâs wrong with some societal norms? Also, if you do whatever with whomever and collect a few STIs along the way frankly you deserve any stigma that comes attached to that.
Really? What about killing women for not covering their hair?
Some societal norms are crazy. Just like the whole âmarrying cousins is incestâ in some places (it isnât).
What is wrong with people voluntarily coming to certain arrangements? It is not my business who sleeps with whom, especially when the other party is stranger. Unless it is my own partner. For anything else - if it is voluntary why interfere?
Hence my statement âsome societal normsâ. Of course not every societal norm ever is good. But some are, like being committed to one person in a relationship and not like 574.
(Mind you, have you seem some of the hairstyles lately⌠maybe covering up not such a bad thingâŚ)
Iâm not advocating interference. Iâm just saying I think itâs gross and icky and I donât get why people do that. Youâre allowed to have sex with every person who crosses your path and Iâm allowed to think youâre a gross pervert if you do. Thatâs all.
In my experience this was not the case. Being committed to two people is far more similar to being committed to just one than you seem to think. Like all relationships, the people involved can establish rules and boundaries which can still be broken resulting in a loss of trust. Love and care can still exist in such a relationship regardless of social mores saying otherwise. This is particularly relevant in cases where more than one culture is represented.
It wasnât what I had in mind when we started, but once boundaries were established it worked out well for many years. The relationship is over but ended better than others Iâve had. Oddly enough for much of the relationship I felt closer to the third party than the person I initially chose to be with. While itâs not something Iâd actively seek out again, I have to admit it was probably the most stable romantic relationship Iâve ever had.
As for Synthiaâs questions. Itâs not something approved of in my culture but far worse things happen all the time. Legal arrangements were drawn up with the initial marriage, but I was married to an individual for whom laws mean nothing.
I feel like itâs a slipperier slope between two and five thousand than it is between one and two. If I was with someone and they wanted to do this I would be having words. I mean whatâs to stop them adding a third and a fourth and so on.
Do whatever you want and justify it how you like I guess as long as everyoneâs okay with it. But Iâm allowed to think youâre all weird, and I do.
Itâs hard enough to have one significant other. Why add a second? More drama? Increased jealousy? Cuckolding? Increased chance of getting an STD?
Having one, and being committed to only one is a sacrifice that says, I care only for you, and no one else, in an intimate fashion. Itâs a gift and demands self control and discipline.
Finally a voice of reason on this. I was feeling very alone on this topic.
Relationships are hard work if youâre going to do them in any way properly. Dealing with one personâs quirks is enough for me. Easier to command an entire fleet of logistic ships than two partners at once.