Assist an Intaki Today!

Fiction Portal Intergalactic Summit
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Hii guys!! So, big news today huh??? I’ve been feeling super down because like, where do I belong, y’know? The Syndicate was always kinda a nightmare where people’s lives were at significant risk, you had all sorts of Serps and pirates cruising around and making life hard and dangerous. The Fed threw my ancestors out, and even though there’s been some nice times, the U-Nat spectre never made it feel like home. But hey! The reprehensible do-nothings are on the run and the do-somethings are rolling up their sleeves!!

But! I don’t know how to be Caldari, guys!! The only place I ever had a real job at was the Three Seasons Hotel, but it got knocked down to make a Leisure & Arts district. Caldari are like, So big on being company guys, having jobs, respecting the corporate colours, their saisas and their saisienis…

So I need to start applying for jobs!!! Right now!!! So they know I’m a serious business man with serious business plans! But I don’t know which companies are the good ones people like, and who has good benefits, or a retirement program or like, who’s gonna be nice to me, and who has the managers who make you feel the most like you aren’t slime. Who do you think I should apply too? I want to work for the most cottagecore, cozy megacompany, I think.

I have a degree in teaching, with a speciality in lower primary and I did the Creodron DREAM cert (Drone Repair, Enhancement, Assembly Maintenance). I’ve got maybe eight years tops experience teaching? I love baking, and aquariums, and taking care of little creatures and like obviously I’m a capsuleer too so there’s that. That’s pretty rare still, right? Surely the egg thing is in demand still. I speak a little Napanii but it’s still super accented. Thanks for reading! Please don’t be pessimistic!!

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FIGHT THE CALDARI INCURSION IN SYNDICATE!

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I have a fair bit of experience living with the Caldari, and my recommendations for megas to cozy up to are Ishukone and Perkone. Both are well-established with good reputations and a history of being open to working with foreigners. Caldari Constructions are also a good bet, they’ll probably win a lot of contracts in the Syndicate region.

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So-- even if the State really does take over Syndicate it’s fairly likely that less is going to change immediately than you might think. The Caldari as a people are pragmatic about most things, and they tend to be respectful of cultural differences so long as those differences don’t pose a threat.

(They don’t want anybody meddling with their culture, resent it to the skies when someone tries, and generally aren’t hypocritical enough to feel comfortable messing with other people’s.)

The basic choice you tend to get in Caldari territory is, are you going to be Caldari, or are you going to be something else? They’ll let you try to be Caldari so long as you do it “right,” but generally they expect you to make a whole life out of it-- no exceptions, no “I’ll learn the language but the whole corporate matchmaking and arranged marriage thing is weird.”

(Unless you’re an egger. Eggers are basically tiny nation-states themselves so … yeah, in that case basically don’t worry about it.)

If you’re something else, they’ll leave you to it but expect you to look after your own and keep to yourself. They’ll trade and do tourism and so on, but basically a client community is a little bubble of “not-Caldari” and your business is none of theirs.

Be aware that if your community doesn’t accept at least client status you’re basically declaring yourselves entirely outside State concern and will officially have zero status within the State, essentially becoming a weird form of talking wildlife without any legal protections at all. I don’t expect that to happen to Syndicate but … yeah, it’s a thing that happens. (It’s also something that happens sometimes to Caldari who can’t hack it as Caldari.)

If you do want to get more closely mixed up with the State, Ishukone’s probably your best bet for the most “enlightened” kind of corporate self-interest, but the Caldari are a nation, not just a collection of businesses, so you can expect every mega to be a little more than just a business concern. NOH’s corporate culture is likely the most familiar for Syndicate Intaki.

Saying all of this, though, we really don’t know how all of this is going to shake out, so maybe just be flexible?

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There’s something so delightfully unsettling about such a nice, upstanding, and well educated citizen gleefully asking to help integrate into the State while wearing the skin of a flayed Drifter.

We should be opening our doors to people like this and giving them host families so they get all the support they need while they are fast-tracked to executive positions.

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It’s their what?! Oh my gosh that’s so freaking gross!! Why didn’t anyone tell me?!!!

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Well-- “skin” is taking it a little far, though it probably was at some point a bit more integrated with its wearer than what we think of as “clothes.” It’s a Drifter plugsuit, and the Drifters don’t seem to treat their bodies so much as vessels for an individual to inhabit as tools for their collective to manipulate.

(It’s kind of interesting that they need them for any reason; it’s not like they spend a lot of time on, like, diplomacy, and it’s a lot of trouble to go to for what’s basically a very complicated drone, so maybe there’s something about human physiology that’s particularly suited-to-task?)

At any rate, yes, it’s a war trophy that was probably surgically attached to a prior wearer. But there’d probably also have been an ordinary (though thoroughly nanite-infested) biological skin underneath it.

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Have people on GalNet simply… forgotten about Heth?

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It would seem that lesson of the State’s history has not been as fully learned as anyone could have hoped…

Whatever comes next, I sadly cannot say, but I simultaneously hope and fear.

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Oh, hello, Mr. Ixiris!

No, we haven’t, but he’s kind of been written off as a bad moment. Turned out he was a literal Templis Dragonaur (to the surprise of nobody-much who was paying attention), which helps. So does his final episode, which saw him in pretty much open revolt against the State.

So, yeah, he’s pretty much just a “dark chapter,” now.

Also, to a Caldari way of seeing things, that whole business (retaking Caldari Prime, etc.) is less about messing with someone else’s culture and more about taking back what was always theirs.

(Also, the Federation, and the Gallente in particular, as the original outside-meddlers, don’t count.)

That was less about cultural differences/tolerance and more about a score or unpaid debt in need of settling, consisting of one homeworld and every ancestor buried on it.

Tibus Heth’s sins were many, but retaking the world the Caldari still call “Home” isn’t seen as one.

(… Come to think of it I might be making assumptions about the point you’re making. Aggressive international moves, that sort of thing-- right? Or … not so much?)

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