B Movie Appreciation


(Rana Ash) #1

As Miss Raske is going to hold a Holofilm Night Holofilm nights! I offerd her two of mine. Which made me go to my library of B Movies and browse.

I found many of my favorites like The Deaf Creature or The Cybernetic Ravager and the one that had me question my sanity, the absolute awful Mountain of the Evil Brides.

So people out there what are your favorites?, surely i am not alone if my love for the absolute laugh inducing terrible Movies…


(Lasairiona Raske) #2

I love romances, I must admit!


(Trii Seo) #3

Sci-Fi.

Horrors.

When it’s a Sci-Fi Horror? Hell yeah.


(Lady Ayeipsia) #4

Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (1996)

That is one of my guilty pleasure moves. I love it. I shouldn’t but I do.

If you really want a good space movie…

Space Balls

I love Mel Brooks. Zucker brothers are great too!


(Loai Qerl) #5

Ms. Ayeipsia, thoae sound like…impossibly ancient works. Surely you like a few that have been made since we arrived in New Eden?

I like those ridiculous Gallente crime dramas, personally. The ones with surly detectives and glamorous thieves and romances and such you know, not the boring ones with government bureaus and reports. Diamonds in the Eyes of a Stranger is a good one! And the costumes in The Foreigner’s Apprentice are so pretty, even if Khanid people never really dressed like that. Still pretty.


(Trii Seo) #6

Oh yeah, those are definitely amazing. What’s a good detective without a square jaw, and mean, grim demeanor after all?

Also, I forgot to list some of my favorites:

“The Kings of Space” - Spandex. Jackets. Greasers in space. Corny one-liners.
Bonus points for the fact it’s not entirely good for holo watching because they shot it when it was all about widescreens.

And the remake sucks.

“The Dreadful Manor” - O-kay, this one like, strikes every single last one possible position on the list. It’s not a game of bad slasher trope bingo, it just invokes every single one.

Joy to watch across the board.

And to top it with the genre fusion:
“It came from the vents!” - How about a debutante nowadays-famous actress, a shower scene and a vat of goop? A spaceship where a mutant goo is descending from people from the vents or plumbing sounds like the premise of an actually good horror flick but believe me: the director of this one ensured his spot on the b-list for decades to come.


(Buoytender Bob) #7

During these trying times I need to laugh, so here’s two of my favofites:

Those crazy Starkz Brothers in their famous comedy " A Night at the Ammarian Opera". Makes fun of pretentious people and institutions in a light-hearted mood; a guarteened good time for all. Pair it up with a collection of vintage short films of The Three Stupids stuff, especially that one where they are engaged with breaking into data and relic cans and failing horribly thereby setting off disasters to those all around them. I think it’was called " A Hacking Cough", but I may be in error.

I see enough tears now days, how about some tears of laughter?


(Kaerin Urisa) #8

B stands for Best. Best movies.


(Elmund Egivand) #9

One of those Void Trekker stuff, I guess? Always interesting to look at that archaic yet for some inexplicable reason popular enough to get remasters on multiple formats for over several thousand years series (I’m including their five movies, by the way) to see how Gallente way back in the day thought space travel looked like.

Probably because it’s very lacking in that impressionist stuff I keep seeing in their holofilm industry these days. And because I love to gnash my teeth looking at how ridiculously combustible everything is in that ridiculous starship. And more starship engineering inaccuracies than I can throw a fedo at.

One of the episodes in season 1 deals with Caldari Prime, in fact. I reckon that season 1 was shot around the time the Gallente’s contact with the Caldari was through years-long-delayed radio comms. Whoever wrote the script and scenario at the time had apparently thought that the Caldari are fluffy with thick layers of adipose tissue and had translucent-white faces. Well, except the women, who are merely translucent-white and uncomfortably attractive for some reason.


(Rana Ash) #10

Upon going thru shelfs and boxes i came across the script for Evil Jove,
it was not made beyond some screen tests and models.

The sysnopsis was simple, jove coming to change the matari population into six armed monsters. Helen Wu where apparently picked for the lead, but i think she instead choose to do a commercial for canned Roes.

For those that like square jawed theme i heard that a remake of Dark Courage was in the pipe. But it may just be a rumor, cause i’m not sure they can find an actor like Dirk Dare to play the blaster toting detective.


(Yarosara Ruil) #11

Who would watch a movie about bees anyways?


(Elmund Egivand) #13

Is it Killer Man-Eating Bees that make hives out of corpses?

If yes, I had watched it. My wife made me. She threatened to withhold the pirozhki and lock up all my workshop terminals if I do not watch the entire thing with her in one sitting.

No toilet breaks.


(Yarosara Ruil) #14

That’s horrible! The Killer-Bee part, not the domestic abuse your wife puts you through. That’s just hilarious!


(Keno Skir) #15

Thought this must be some kind of booze… (nope, it is a bun full of whatever).


(Elmund Egivand) #16

It was indeed horrible. The Killer Bee swarm CG is extremely terrible, by the standards of three centuries ago. The actors always overact. The dialogues are amateurish, as though they were written by my five-year-old nephews after binging on three seasons of Tribal Guardians. The plot is so predictable I actually had to stop with the drinking game out of concern for my liver (especially considering that the last time I backed up a soft clone was a year ago). I could see the twist coming from one and a half hours away!

And the deaths are hilarious rather than horrifying. They have that stock scream played on repeat while the victim is eaten alive by the killer bees. The repeat also overlaps. Not to mention the overacting. Clearly, the studio blew most of the budget on ludicrous and overelaborate death sequences.


(Yarosara Ruil) #17

You’d think that in a society that achieved virtual immortality and virtual sensorial reality they would nail down cheap movie CGI!

At this point it might just be cheaper to genetically engineer Killer-Bees.


(Che Biko) #18

One that comes to mind is Orgasmus.
:thinking: Now I think about it, this movie lends some credibility to Kim’s “rocket models” being actual rocket models. :rooster::rocket::exclamation:


(Elmund Egivand) #19

Wait till you read the ‘title’.

Night of the Man-eating Killer Bees.

No points for creativity.


(Omega Jovakko) #20

Is it a night where a guy eats killer bees?
Or a night where killer bees eat people?


(Elmund Egivand) #21

The latter. I had already explained in the previous post.

If it’s the former, the movie might be more enjoyable. Just imagine it. Some guy opened his mouth wide like a whale, gobbling up all the killer bees swarming at him by just running through the swarm.