So, I remembered why I stayed away for so long. (I mean, aside from other, more personal reasons.) You all are so damn depressing, always super serious, worrying about the end of the cluster as we know it, life and dead, mostly death, murderizing friends, “oh, I’ll kill you but totally feel bad,” drugs are bad, have no fun kind of people.
Do some blue pill and lighten up. Or probably not, since, as I’ve stated, you are way too serious to ever do drugs. So, here’s some not drugs to brighten up, since my vacation house is entering a colder season, and I like this drink.
Hot Chocolate! Sure, some crappy companies sell miserable mixes that you can put in water. (Watch, someone with a zero fun factor is going to defend them.) Other places, like that Stellarcredits chain make a pretty mediocre version for mass consumption. However, for the true gastronome, I have the perfect recipe.
Honestly, this is one thing that I recommend to try at home.
You’re going to need to get some whole milk. Yes, from cows. Dairy from genetically engineered livestock is perfectly fine.
You’re also going to need to get some light cream. The best light cream comes from the Emerald Valley on Intaki, made by red-headed milkmaid virgins, but if you can’t get that, store brought is fine.
For a fun twist, try Baliey’s Intaki Cream in the place of the light cream.
Then, you’re going to need to get some good (this is super important) milk chocolate. (Sure, you can go get dark if you hate yourself and everyone else, which on this board is, again, distressingly common.) The best milk chocolate I found if Mirirka, made by the Sebiestor clan of the same name. Family business for ninety years. (No, they are not giving me free chocolate for this advertising. I mean, they can if they want, but they haven’t.) This brand makes a wonderful snap when you break it. Top-notch stuff! And good to eat plain. Or heated and dripped on your partner to be licked off.
Light Cream or Intaki Cream: 20cl
So, you’re going to take your whole milk. (That’s dairy, whole, not skim, made from almonds, soy, or anything else) and put it in a sauce pan. Medium heat. If you’re using light cream, you can go ahead and add this in now, too. Once you can feel the heat coming off the milk and cream, go ahead and drop the chocolate in. For best results, smaller pieces. And then start whisking! Whisk, whisk, whisk. You’re going to want to stop just before the milk gets to a boil. And keep whisking. Always. Do not let anything settle on the bottom of the sauce pan to burn.
Take off the heat.
If you’re using the Baliey’s Intaki Cream (or any other brand), you’d put it in just before you take it off the heat, to avoid boiling the alcohol off! Whisk that in well. Make sure you get it reasonably warm.
Immediately pour into a mug. Top with whipped cream or marshmallows.
Now, if you’re feeling bold, adventurous and all that, you can try adding in some extracts. Peppermint extract is nice, and so is orange. Add in the extracts after you take it off the heat; they won’t change the temperature too much. If you add in peppermint extract, you can top your whipped cream with peppermint candy pieces!
Please, Yule is just a couple of months away. Let’s all be nice and stuff.
If anyone else has some festive, cold-weather recipes, I’d love to hear them.