Admittedly my attitude towards other is a bit of a performance I learned to put on… Not to say this isn’t who I am, but I see it as a tactic to be left alone. If the world regards me as some rude brat, that much is fine. I don’t want their attention, their notice or praise and I most certainly don’t want them ever trying to get close to me… Act like such a nuisance that it becomes that more suspicious if someone tries to gain my trust… That is, if they’re doing it with a smile on their face."
- ??? ‘Okiku’ ???
“Because I don’t like you.”
August 1st YC 123
6NJ8-V IV - The Rabbit’s Warren Fortizar, personal quarters of Suha Raibuya
“Isn’t this nice?~”
< ‘Okiku’ unenthusiastically stabbing her plate with a fork >
“I’m always so busy and caught up with work that it’s quite rare I get to enjoy dinner with someone!~”
“Mmhmm…”
“…I-Is something wrong with the fish? I-I didn’t know what it is you like to eat since you… Well, never open up to me. I wanted to make you something healthy and nutritious! Some real food compared to that junk you have stocked…”
< ‘Okiku’ angrily placing her utensils down >
“There it is - What I was waiting for. For you to start inserting your pretentious ■■■■■■■ opinions about how I live.”
“Are we seriously starting with this already? A-After I went through all this effort to make this meal?”
“I never asked you to do it. If anything this just comes off as another attempt to butter me up. Still on some vain quest to squeeze some love and appreciation out of me? Forget it, I know your game.”
"W-Why does there have to be a game I’m playing? Most importantly, why do we keep having to do this!? Why does every conversation between us have to be this hostile?
“Because I don’t like you.”
“But… W-Why?”
“Because you’re just some druggie ■■■■■ that somehow stumbled into a small figments of relevance by riding some Capsuleer’s cock, exposing your ass to the entire region, spouting some uninsightful spiritual gibberish that even the Caldari are moving past and overall just obsessed with attention and approval. It’s a miracle you have the influence you do, I’m under the impression you’re a complete ■■■■-up at work and coasting by on the suggestions of smarter people.”
“I-”
“-So yeah, I don’t like you. Because there’s nothing to like about you! You’re just another ■■■■■■■ loser like everyone else here trying hard to establish yourself above them all. Maybe choke that Egger cock harder and you’ll get there, but maybe you’ll overdose before then and just be another useless ■■■■■■■ memory that nob-”
< Suha picking up her plate and smashing it down onto the table, shattering it. >
“-…”
“…”
“…”
“… Why.”
“…”
"Why? WhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhy - WHY!? Why do you have to be ao ■■■■■■■ mean and cruel towards me! What the ■■■■ did I ever do to you to deserve this treatment? "
“…I-”
“-No! Know what? Shut the ■■■■ up! Just shut the ■■■■ up! All you have done since we’ve met is relentlessly be mean and rude to me when I hadn’t done a ■■■■■■■ thing beyond give you a home! Beyond making sure you had food, clothing and utilities. Things you never ASKED for, but I provided because I wanted you to have them. That I wanted you to enjoy life not having to sleep on ■■■■■■■ trash bags in some alleyway. Is it selfish of me to expect some gratitude? Perhaps, but maybe I just deserve a LITTLE ■■■■■■■ bit of gratitude. Instead you have done NOTHING but curse, insult and… and… and…”
< Suha whimpering >
“… A-And say the m-most hurtful things!”
“…”
“I-I-I-I < Gasp > D-Don’t understand why you keep talking to m-me like this! < Gasp > Y-You think this is fun? It’s frustrating! It’s repetitive! It’s unfair! W-What have I done to you! P-Please just tell me what I did to deserve this treatment!”
“…”
“Y-You don’t like me because I’m a loser? < Gasp > T-That I’m some kind of failure? At least I T-Try to make something of myself! But people like you just wanna remind me how much of a ■■■■ up I am! No matter what I’m just some ■■■■ up! All I’m know for is being a ■■■■ up! I’m… I’m just some druggie stupid ■■■■ up ■■■■■ no matter what! T-That’s all I’m ever seen as!”
< Suha continuing to cry as she picks up ‘Okiku’s’ plate >
“I-I-I can’t even season the ■■■■■■■ fish right!”
< Suha throwing the plate down on the floor and shattering it >
“I’m just a ■■■■ up all around! I know this! W-Why do you of all people have to remind me? To be so cruel about it? I g-give you my love and care and you give me back nothing but venom and hatred!”
“…”
< Suha sobbing >
“I’m… I’m sorry.”
“N-N-No Y-You’re not! < Sniff > Why else would you be saying such hurtful things!”
“I… I don’t know. It’s just… I don’t let people get close to me. I’ve wanted people to steer clear from me and want nothing to do with me. Was… Safer that way.”
< Suha sniffling >
“I… I have trust issues. I’ve let people get close to me and… And they’ve hurt me… Hurt me in degrading ways.”
< ‘Okiku’ whimpering >
“… Is that what you feared about me? T-That’s why you kept assuming I do such things to you? Okiku, I’m so sorry… How could I’ve been so oblivious…”
< ‘Okiku’ sobbing >
“I can’t trust people anymore… I just can’t! I’ve just wanted to be left alone. I don’t want to be hurt anymore…”
“… I’ve had people hurt me before. Hurt by people who I just wanted to be loved and accepted by, but every attempt I made to earn that love I was met with a beating, scolding and humiliation… All I ever wanted was to be loved!”
“D-Don’t try and compare your pain to mine!”
“I’m not! But… We’ve both suffered in our own ways… our pains are not the same, yet pain nonetheless. I… Understand the burden that brings. I Wanna be here for you. To help y-”
“-No!”
“You’ve never let anyone get close enough to you to hear your problems. To help you cope with them, you’ve just been bottling them up this whole time. I’m willing to help you with no conditions attached.”
"N-No… "
< Okiku sobbing continuously >
“Please Okiku… Let me… Just give you a hug, please?”
“…”
“…”
< Suha and ‘Okiku’ crying together >