Drone Hive Queen gives birth to half-Drifter child!

Incredible news reaches Gutter Press of an incredible development in the Drone Regions, where one of the local Drone Hive Queens has reportedly given birth to a half-Drifter child !

Hybrid !

The Hive Queen, named as Unit 438924-J by a local resident, gave birth to their child earlier this month, and eyewitnesses claim that the child is of a form hitherto unseen anywhere in New Eden, with a shape closely resembling that of the Drifter ships !

Assimilation ?

A Drone Region cryptoxenocyberarchaeologist said that the child, given the name Unit 9543821-A by their parent, could be the result of assimilation of wrecked Drifter vessels by the Rogue Drones, as the Drones are known to be able to assimilate any technological artifact that they encounter while going about their business in space.

Assault ?

A rival cryptoxenocyberarchaeologist claimed that rather than assimilation, the birth of this child could be a result of an attack by Drifter forces on the Rogue Drone regions, with the Drones being an unwilling participant in the Drifters unknowable schemes.

Capsuleer responsibility ?

Some analysts have said that the proliferation of damaged Drifter ships, and Drifter shipwrecks, in recent weeks, many of them caused by capsuleer intervention, could also have led to this unusual situation. The Arataka Research Consortium was named by some as potentially being responsible for a substantial proportion of the Drifter shipwrecks which may be the cause of this chain of events.

CONCORD Mystery Ship ?

Speculation on Gal-Net has also pointed a finger at CONCORD and the DED agency, fuelled by the recent appearance of a mysterious unknown ship in Yulai, with some Gal-Net pundits claiming that the mysterious ship is also a Drifter-Drone hybrid vessel, though scant evidence exists to support such a claim.

Scepticism !

Gutter Press agents spoke to several senior University of Caille researchers about these events, with most being highly sceptical.
“Cryptoxenocyberarchaeology isn’t a real science”, said one cyberneticist. “It’s not even a real word!”
“I wouldn’t have thought the technology would even be compatible between the Drones and Drifters. Don’t the Drifters all use trinary rather than binary in their systems ?”, asked another cyberneticist.
“One shouldn’t anthropomorphise the Rogue Drones. That way lies madness”, said a philosophy researcher.
“I doubt ARC are at fault here. They’re far more sensible”, asserted an exotic dance professor.
“CONCORD have a lot of questions to answer. I, for one, shall be writing to my Senator !”, stated a politics researcher.

Silence !

No spokespersons from CONCORD, the DED, Unit 438924-J, Vigilant Tyrannos, or the Arataka Research Consortium, were contactable by Gutter Press agents at the time of publication.

Gutter Press. News.

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ARC, what have you done?

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I…honestly have no idea where to begin with this.

Maybe with the absurdity that is “cryptoxenocyberarchaeology”? My linguistics background openly weeped at that.

Also, I was unaware that Exotic Dance studies were available on the curriculum at UoC. Must remember to ask my associate about that, he is an alumni of that particular university…

Ah, Gutter Press. Long may you continue to amuse and confuse.

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Nothing.

See? This is why we try not to do nothing.

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The interesting thing is that it is quite reasonable that Rogue Drones would have attempted to assimilate Drifter vessels by now.

They are probably stuck at the binary/trinary part.

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As something of an expert in tracking down and eliminating rogue drone infestations I can safely say such news are in fact false.I have yet to witness any change in rogue drone behaviour or design apart from the capital sized constructs they sometimes employ when large hives feel threatened by high capsuleer activity.

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That’s exactly what a Rogue Drone in a People Suit would say in order to divert attention from this kind of issue!

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Nonsense, this is clearly a ploy to divert attention from the hollow matar…

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Scandalous.

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