EVE Online: The Bare Essentials

There seem to be a lot of threads, principally started by you-know-who, many of which seem to be or to provoke comments tangentially targeted at a certain beloved playstyle.

In a spirit of bonhomie therefore (and because it’s Friday), I’ve decided to set out what I understand to be the skills required of a new EVE player.

The Basic Skills should be in possession before installing the game, the rest, as quickly as they may be acquired.

BEFORE YOU START: Basic Skillset

Learn how to Read
Learn how to Think
Learn how to Math
Learn how to YouTube
Learn how to Learn

STARTING THE GAME: Complex Skillset

Learn how to Cope (Nobody knows, likes or necessarily agrees with you)
Learn how to Wait (Almost everything takes time)
Learn how to Defend (Yourself and others)
Learn how to Kill (You’ll never regret it)
Learn how to Lose (Ask a Ganker for help…)

Please propose additions/deletions, or your own newbro list. Keep it light-hearted, if you can.


I’d like to add “Critical” to that part, because a lot of players can think, they’re just not good at it


I’ve met quite a few people who just can’t be bothered to think. For them, if it requires effort which makes them feel uncomfortable, they just won’t do it - or they’ll do it poorly.

My own blind spot is maths. I have had to work very hard in order simply to equip myself with what most people would call ‘the basics’. But I did make that effort. Perhaps it is all about ‘effort’?

Effort is the crux of the issue. The people who whine and complain don’t want to make the effort, it’s not that things are too challenging, it’s just that they are LAZY.


My issue is just that nobody will actually help me learn how to PvP. I’m given a bunch of fits and then I get told to go burn a bil on a fit that nobody told me how to fly. I’m just not willing to burn money on fits to try and learn. I know there’s not some easy solution, I just wish I’d get some consistent advice and not just fits and random tips.

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I dunno comrade…that seems like a lotta stuff to learn.

Plus you forgot the most important one - learn how to smacktalk and banter with style and humor.


…and frequently don’t see why they should, when somebody else could solve the problem for them, using ‘a bit’ of code and an under-employed hack-dev.

Make 'em sweat, I say.

Ah, Syeed, I’m so glad to see you around. Always rely on you for a reality-check! I remember your former antics with relish.

I hope I didn’t give the impression that I was in possession of all those skills and qualities? Maybe I wasn’t thinking.

As it happens, I’m totally useless at smacktalk and stylish banter. Gank 'em and leave 'em was my motto. Still got horrible diseases wished upon me and my family, though. Never understood that.

Nice to see you again, Syeed, and thanks.

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I’ve been around a while, Hound, and when it comes to PvP (I assume you don’t mean ‘suicide ganking’), most of the people I’ve encountered learned their skills in corps with dedicated PvP wings.

You can learn PvP (or indeed anything else in EVE) through research and trial and error, but it will take time and of course there’ll be a cost involved.

So, you really have a straight choice, in my view, but whatever you decide, it will take determination, and you must really want it (otherwise it’ll seem like a chore).

Do you PvP in any other games you currently play? -Might be a good first question to ask yourself. Also, isn’t there a PvP sub-forum somewhere about? Might be a corp, small gang or individual there who’s willing to help.

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Some other key skills Ive noticed very common in Eve.

Learn how to be malleable, so others can shape how you play.

Learn how to be gullible, so you can be told what to think.

Learn to be insecure, so you feel the need to seek approval.

Learn how to judge others, so you can feel better than them.

Pretty important for a lot of the content.


IMHO, not exactly so. It’s not a matter of “critically thinking” as a separate known skill, so it’s hard to say if they make certain efforts which require known level of it.

People think rationally (a.k.a. critically), plus they are always affected by some emotions. Sometimes that emotions related to current topic, sometimes they are external (for example, somebody’s brain may be filled by worryness about their love relations with some partner). And that emotions require more resources of their nervous system because there are chemistry is involved, and they cannot just stop to be emotional since their body is busy on reprocessing hormones.

So, if you really want to train critical thinking, you need to teach people how to be less emotional, so their brain will have more resources for rational thinking. If you spend some time on observating people, you will notice that people with critical thinking are less emotional than the others.

I’ve written elsewhere that emotional volatility is not a friend of clear thinking. It is true that for some people, how they feel about a thing is how that thing is, and they will form ideas based upon their conclusions. It is difficult to explain to them any need to suspend their emotional response, when that response is what they know and trust.

Some players will say - with some justification - ‘I don’t play EVE in order to think, I play EVE in order to relax’. These are (usually) the players who get blown out of the sky by Neutron Blasters. They take it badly. Their response has been an emotional one and, as far as they’re concerned, they have been unjustly punished for doing nothing wrong.

I don’t know what the answer is, Heritor. Some blame may attach to upbringing, circumstances or neurology. One of my teachers told me it was also partly the fault of institutes of higher education, which taught their students critical thinking but gave no guidance about emotional intelligence - at a time when many students might benefit from it!

Thanks for your thought-provoking comments.

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ngl some yall cant read the MOTD and that grinds my gears or do a basic google search on something.

EVE been around 20+ years. Everything has been documented to this point.


You could’ve shortened that to “some of y’all can’t read”, the average ganker/miner eats glue and overdoses on salt for a living, I don’t think they can do much of anything


You sound like someone who doesn’t know the half of it.

@Sasha_Nemtsov +1
°•° I don’t know, Sasha. It is a long list. I’m still working on nr.2

That’s a must. Can’t do without that one.

Is it safe to be so close? I hear they’re psychopaths who can suck the lifeforce out of other clones.

A thread worth being pinned in New Citizen Q&A

They took my likes away :pensive:

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Pod-Goo is a well-known (to gankers) source of capsuleer sustenance. Alas, it must be forcibly extracted in order for its nutrients to be made accessible. There appears to be but one method of performing the extraction…

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Tut, tut, Hound. We can certainly hold our own here on the forums, where the cut and thrust of earnest debate requires lightning reflexes and agile reasoning. Just as in space, huh?

For the rest, I favour Mr Kipling’s Cherry Bakewells and Robinson’s Orange Squash (fridge-cold). They’re full of chems, I know, but I’m apparently able to joust successfully with you despite the damage to my increasingly creaky body.

I don’t judge capsuleers by what they drink, it’s a matter of customs, can’t mess with that. Plus, if the goo helps with their strange abilities then forbidding them that is cruel and unusual punishment… as long as it’s not my goo. As to the method of extraction, don’t tell me, let me guess :wink:

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I got my first ever solo kill today. In lowsec. I just undocked and did it. A fairly easy kill, followed by 15 mins of learning how not to get blapped with a suspect timer. Various mistakes made, that I wont make next time.

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