Dear fellow spacenerds,
I was very concerned about and contemplating preemptively requitting EVE due to these new forums after looking at them for approximately ten seconds, but then a notification popped up: I had gotten a badge in the time it took to review the non-question-asking FAQ.
I have never played a game where activity on the forum would give you achievements (Unless you classify warnings as achievements - I’ve been to those forums). At first, I thought this was one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse - probably Pestilence - and signalled the final and definitive end for EVE. Personally I’ve been waiting for EVE to die since 2010, but I have heard about people waiting for around 14 years by now, so it’s long overdue. However, after doing some quality research, I realised that I’m the greatest genius ever, and that the new forum is really an aspect of the player-driven, meta-playing, pseudo-social emergent gameplay known as forum-warrioring: Since so many are spending their time not playing the game as such, but rather talking about how others are playing the game wrong on the forums, it made sense to reform the forms to take this meta-emergent gameplay into account.
As such, there are now ways to evaluate the worthiness of even the most faceless forum alt, through the forum achievements, just as there are ways to evaluate the worthiness of ingame players, through metrics such as corp and alliance memberships, bio memes or quotes, killboard stats and monocles.
This is an incredible new step in the history of EVE-kind, and a brave one at that, since with this realisation, most alliance and big-corp CEOs can now let their sub expire, and still get achievements for what it is they really do. Same goes for legendary posters.
I want to congratulate the EVE Devs on recreating their game environment in forum-form, even down to the slightly wonky UI that takes a couple of PhDs to figure out and a TiDi-esque effect that makes forum-warrioring just as excruciating as jumping into HED on a cold January day in 2014.
The new forums being on meta.eveonline.com was a clue to the true intended nature of this forum update, but I don’t think they all fully grasped the significance of their actions. Now, with this meta-research into the meta-emergent meta-gameplay of meta-playing meta-EVE, EVE can finally go full meta^meta and complete the circle: EVE has become so metatastically self-referential that it is now its own entity - a living person, an existing society, and an established institution, all at the same time. EVE is no longer dying, long live EVE!