Lots of posts, lots of typing and no one actually covered the most important part. Understandable for a newbie asking for help, NOT acceptable for people pretending to be helpful.
resists and damage profiles
The tanking number you listed in from the ingame fitting window is useless because it takes all 4 damage types in to account but you’re not being hit by all 4 damage types. The VAST majority of NPC, especially the normal mission ones, only do two damage types and even if they technically do more realistically it’s just two.
So what you need to do is every time you accept a mission figure out which npc faction you’ll be fighting and adjust your hardeners for that. That and replace the DC with a shield power relay. So if you’re fighting Guristas you fit a kinetic and thermal shield hardener and you’re pretty much good. Depending on skills you could even drop one shield extender and add, in this case, another kinetic hardener. Once you’re used to this it just takes 10-15 seconds of time between missions if you even HAVE to switch.
The problem is that the ingame fitting window doesn’t allow you to adjust variables, for that you need an external fitting program like Pyfa. THERE you can simply select the damage types you’re being hit by and then check how well you’d do in that specific situation. It’s also very useful to try out fits and see how they would perform. You can get Pyfa here: Pyfa - The Python Fitting Assistant
Most people have no clue how much tank they have or need vs specific targets, this is why they just bling everything to hell and back in a “this should be enough” kind of way. And again for a newbie that’s fully acceptable but there are tons of people who after years of playing still don’t know and given that none of the replies in your thread mentioned resists you have to wonder…
If you don’t want to become one of those people I would suggest to really start playing with Pyfa and put in the effort to learn to use it, you’ll become a better pilot because of it.