Learning Triglavian Lore: A HOW-TO
Complete with dialogue from CCP’s initial trial. CCP volunteer’s conclusion about the Triglavians attached at the end.
== PROPOSAL NOT FOR ROUTINE DISTRIBUTION ==
1. Watch this trailer to see how the invasion started.
- “Look at these inept geniuses”
- “Should’ve taken the gate immediately”
- “Yeah, they’re screwed.”
- “Wait, that’s how the invasion started? Oh … … … idiots.”
2. Read the news to see how the invasion went.
- “Of course the empires were still fighting each other while fighting the Collective.”
- “Hahaha! Oops! Make sure to expand the firing range exclusion zone to cover the entire grid next time!”
- “Of course the contract went to Upwell. Those guys are shady.”
- “Wait, the Triglavians like rogue drones? Are they gasp Gallente?”
- “Well, EDENCOM’s quite tight-lipped, aren’t they?”
- “Seems the cluster really likes their holidays! Still celebrating while their buddies are being slaughtered. Weirdos.”
3. After getting bored of sifting through all the news, begin reading the Lore summaries
- “Wait … there’s nothing here. Oh well, next step.”
4. Move on to reading ship descriptions.
- “Oh! They really like the number three. Do their dogs look like Cerberus? Are they three-headed? Could we get a hydra?”
- “Well, they do like to fight. Hmm … kinda like capsuleers.”
4.1 Realize the time.
- “It’s been 47 hours and 59 minutes?!? I’ve been up for almost a day reading this?!”
*“Time to go to sleep.”
4.2 … … …
- Loud snoring
4.3 … … …
- Loud snoring
Team Lead: Okay, cut it here, I guess. CCP Volunteer, what did you think about our guide?
CCP Volunteer: Very engaging. Would do it again!
Team Lead: Great to hear! What did you learn?
CCP Volunteer: Lore’s fun. Go learn lore!
Team Lead: What about specifically with regard to Triglavians?
CCP Volunteer: There were lots of news. I skipped most of it. I need to go back and read them. Tell you later.
Team Lead: Tell me later? The trial’s over!
CCP Volunteer: I’ll tell you later! The trial ain’t over yet!
Test Notes
Go read the lore. That’s the one and only step?
Lore is fun, always read lore.
Read lore every day.