HonksFM Transcript, Date Unknown

[music]

[bumper]
DJ Venture: I’m DJ Venture and you’re listening to KNOH, honksFM. Today’s top honks, commercial free.

[music]

[three minutes of geese honking rhythmically]

DJ: And that was the latest from d’ceet, titled h o m k. Remember listeners, you only have three weeks left before the gathering of the flock. Get your copy of Pax Amarria today and stay tuned to honksFM for details! You wouldn’t want to be… left behind

[crowd screaming SFX]

DJ: Next up on KNOH is the Birds of Pray block, stay tuned!

[music]

4 Likes

As an ever rapidly evolving and soon to be former avid listener of KNOH, and as an objective person not involved in Amarr religious politics, one simply must wonder if the Birds of Pray block is a ploy by the Order of St. Tetrimon in order to draw attention to the vile and repulsive contradictions of the Amarr Empire that Heideran VII left unresolved in Pax Amarria.

I much prefered the old programming, the quiet honking in the background kept me company on many long days.

I would rate the incoherent honking 10/10 and the similar but repulsively incoherent Birds of Pray block 3/10. Perhaps if you gave similar airtime to the Church of Bob, I could overlook this tragedy of programming errors.

My Children it is your guide to all the answers of all of life’s questions asking that you make time for the word in the upcoming broadcast to enter your souls an bring peace and contentment to you.

Blessed are you my child.

Thank you for your feedback, Tunen. I will be sure to pass it along to station management so they can take it into account when making future programming decisions.

And while you’re here don’t forget our listener sweepstakes, you and five of your closest friends can win an all expenses paid trip to our broadcast studios deep in uncharted wormhole space. All you have to do is listen to the new Birds of Pray block each week and we’ll announce the winning ships over the air!

Transcript, date unknown:

[music]

[voiceover] DJ: Uh huh…

[chair creaking]

DJ: Yeah Frank it’s all going fine.

DJ: No I saw that, I don’t give a ■■■■ if they know we’re not with those Amarr freaks.

[pause]

DJ: Frank, listen, we picked that ■■■■ book because those words have power. Like, real power. Magic ■■■■ power. The power to summon the go-

DJ: Frank, it’s going to be fine, just another week and the goose-

Man shouting, muffled: HOT MI-

[music]

1 Like

[Log found in an abandoned Tayra in J space]

I have seen something today. So help me Bob, I have damaged the memory core of the transneural burning scanner in this capsule, hopefully enough so that when transmitting the next scan, it fails validation, and my next clone is restored from backup and forgets all of this. The worst case is that I wind up with irreversible brain damage, I guess, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

It was just so big. I guess you could say it peeped through a wormhole, like you’d casually stick your head out of a window to look around. It stares at YOU, not just you, like into your soul, through the damn capsule and everything. And then, once you finally have time to fear it, it comes. From everywhere. You can hear it, smell it, taste it, feel it, for sake of Bob, you can SEE it despite seeing it, somehow, all at once.

H̵̏̓O̵̓̊N̸̒̇K̷̽̈

And then it’s just gone.

No one will ever believe this. It’s for the best that I forget it.

If the next me ever sees this, don’t go after it.

Don’t. Once you experience it, the impulse is always there. I’ve spent the last four hours trying to calm myself and it’s just not possible.

We went through some ■■■■ in capsuleer school, we kept trying to make friends only to watch most of them turn psychotic or kill themselves.

This is worse.

And that’s your last warning.

[End of Log]

3 Likes

Peace was never an option

Huh. Our reputation proceeds us, I see.

KNOH HonksFM: Become ungovernable.